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  #31  
Old 01-04-2010, 08:35 PM
aopirose aopirose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie View Post
Could you give some examples of how moving to the "top tier" would change life for Mary Sue? Would her "top tier" status impact the rest of her ABC family relations? If so, how so? And if not, why not?
A lady that I know is a 60-year-plus member of her GLO. A few years ago she told me that she was sorry that she joined ABC because after she graduated, she was not invited to join certain organizations. She felt certain that it was because she was an ABC and the women in charge of the organizations were XYZs.

When her daughters and granddaughters rushed, she never even mentioned that she was an ABC even though there were chapters at those schools. She was so proud when her girls joined the "right" houses and that one granddaughter was an XYZ. According to her, that XYZ pin opened the gates of heaven for the girl. She was invited to join all the organizations that her she "couldn't" and that she was very proud that her ABC legacy status didn't taint her. I sat there stunned and then I told her that I was sorry that she felt that way. I also told her that I belonged to a couple of her "dream" organizations and that I knew for a fact that there were many ABCs who were quite involved. One ABC was even president! She didn't know what to say. Some things do change over 50 years.
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  #32  
Old 01-04-2010, 08:36 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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TriDeltaSallie, look up Prudence Mackintosh's books on Amazon or Alibris. They're full of fantastic information on Southern women and how they filter into various groups, plus they're hysterical! Prudence Mackintosh went KKG at Texas and raised 3 sons in Highland Park.
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  #33  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:00 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by Low C Sharp View Post
The first few pages of a novel about Mary Sue, which Mary Sue wrote in her 50s and which you can read on Amazon, explain the process in detail:

http://www.amazon.com/Heartbreak-Hot...der_1416544909
Unfortunately, the casting of Ally Sheedy as said Mary Sue in the movie completely defeated the point. They needed to wait till Reese Witherspoon was old enough to play the part.

I was going to say that I think a lot of this is like families who always sent their sons to Groton & Harvard (and who then joined Porcellian while they were there) but I honestly think those places have become more de-homogenized than the institutions we're talking about. I could be wrong.
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  #34  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:47 PM
exlurker exlurker is offline
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Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie View Post
Do you mean that as in future big shot from Othertown would have to move to Anytown because that is where his wife is from? Or do people seriously restrict their spouse selection to their hometown friends?
Eh, IF wife and husband are from simiar social circles -- and here we seem to be talking mainly about the South, and, frankly, the Old Money, Fine Old Family portion of the upper middle / upper class -- similar social circles in Otherville WILL know what the "top" and the "acceptable" GLOs are at a variety of campuses. That is, they'll know, even if most of them are XYZs from U of Whatsis, that DEF is "top" or "good" at Dixie-Davis U. (And they'll know the "rank" of XYZ at Dixie-Davis, too.)

Last edited by exlurker; 01-04-2010 at 10:01 PM.
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  #35  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:57 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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You know, it is just so blamed difficult to explain all this to a non-southerner since we grew up with it. Some things you just "know"...and I don't mean to sound snobby here...it's just reality. Southerners are just more "connected" I think...
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  #36  
Old 01-04-2010, 09:58 PM
tld221 tld221 is offline
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Originally Posted by exlurker View Post
Eh, IF wife and husband are from simiar social circles -- and here we seem to be talking mainly about the South, and, frankly, the upper middle / upper class -- similar social circles in Otherville WILL know what the "top" and the "acceptable" GLOs are at a variety of campuses. That is, they'll know, even if most of them are XYZs from U of Whatsis, that DEF is "top" or "good" at Dixie-Davis U. (And they'll know the "rank" of XYZ at Dixie-Davis, too.)
why do people have all this TIME on their hands to keep up with this?
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  #37  
Old 01-04-2010, 10:01 PM
KD4Me KD4Me is offline
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Originally Posted by Elephant Walk View Post
I will give a fraternity based example of a chapter who is now long gone (R.I.P)

Phi Delt at the UA tended to pledge alot of Highland Park, Dallas guys. Now, Highland Park guys are in demand because thats a very rich, monied part of Dallas with alot of stellar guys. Along with Southeast Arkansas guys, Highland Park guys tend to have their picks of whoever they want during recruitment. Except they chose Phi Delt, who is higher socially but not as high as EX, KE, and SAE.

Why, you may ask.

Because Phi Delt is very good at Southern Methodist University in Highlanad Park, Dallas. Probably the best, last time I checked. So, they chose the brand-name recognition that their families and friends all knew and connected with one one of the best.


(I think this has to do with the situation but it may not.)
This is true of present-day sororities, too.
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  #38  
Old 01-04-2010, 10:07 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Originally Posted by tld221 View Post
why do people have all this TIME on their hands to keep up with this?
LOL.

Let the record show that this isn't about Southerner vs. nonSoutherner or any other dichotomy. There are just people who really think that certain traditions and types of upbringing are wonderful, but to specifically prepare a child for Greekdom (versus it simply being a trickle down effect, as someone said earlier) is strange.
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  #39  
Old 01-04-2010, 10:10 PM
TriDeltaSallie TriDeltaSallie is offline
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Originally Posted by Titchou View Post
You know, it is just so blamed difficult to explain all this to a non-southerner since we grew up with it. Some things you just "know"...and I don't mean to sound snobby here...it's just reality. Southerners are just more "connected" I think...
And as a non-southerner I feel both that it is really cool and really sad. The part of me that values family, tradition and community thinks it is an incredibly special blessing to be so connected to them. And there is another part of me that just finds it sad that someone's whole life is basically planned out for them before birth.

I truly don't mean that as a slam. But for someone outside of the south, it really is both fascinating and hard to comprehend. It's hard to imagine going to school and camp and college and socializing with the same group of people my entire life. I think of college as a time to meet new people and explore new opportunities. To have life so mapped out at such a young age just seems to somehow miss some of the joy of the unexpected and new. I think the part of me that likes new challenges and opportunities to explore would find the structure to be incredibly confining.

Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone reading this. It is just a completely different way of looking at life that I find truly fascinating.
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  #40  
Old 01-04-2010, 10:26 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie View Post

I truly don't mean that as a slam. But for someone outside of the south, it really is both fascinating and hard to comprehend. It's hard to imagine going to school and camp and college and socializing with the same group of people my entire life. I think of college as a time to meet new people and explore new opportunities. To have life so mapped out at such a young age just seems to somehow miss some of the joy of the unexpected and new. I think the part of me that likes new challenges and opportunities to explore would find the structure to be incredibly confining.

Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone reading this. It is just a completely different way of looking at life that I find truly fascinating.
You don't really think about it. It just is. Just like the way you grew up. It's not something you thought about. It was just the way things were.
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  #41  
Old 01-04-2010, 11:47 PM
Low C Sharp Low C Sharp is offline
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the Old Money, Fine Old Family portion of the upper middle / upper class -- similar social circles in Otherville WILL know what the "top" and the "acceptable" GLOs are at a variety of campuses.
Heh, this is covered in "Heartbreak Hotel," too...Mary Sue goes to visit the aristocratic family of her (alcoholic) big-shot fiance in the Mississippi Delta, and even though she's from Georgia, and they go to school in Alabama, the quality people in Mississippi know that her chapter makes the grade.
________

Last edited by PenguinTrax; 07-09-2014 at 07:21 PM.
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  #42  
Old 01-05-2010, 12:17 AM
Just interested Just interested is offline
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I missed this book. It sounds like a must read. Wow! Life imitates art or is it the other way around?
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  #43  
Old 01-05-2010, 02:19 AM
AXiDMeesh AXiDMeesh is offline
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Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
From an NPHC perspective, prepping since birth happens and I think it is quite unfortunate.

It includes, but is not limited to, the lame "future XYZ" shirts that people are given at babyshowers. The "my mommy/daddy is an XYZ" shirts are only tolerable if they are on a child who is the opposite sex of the organization's membership. Telling kids "when you become an XYZ" is equally annoying.

I think it is fine to socialize kids around college educated and professional people who are also in GLOs. What's lame is surrounding your child by a particular GLO with hopes of shaping your child's decision making process. Give your child the information and let them know they have tons of sources of information and potential letters of rec should they decide to go that route. Don't bamboozle them into thinking that's THE route for them. Let them know they have support in whatever they decide.


I don't entertain future anything from children. I only entertain aspirant conversations--meaning, people who are collegiates or alum and qualify for membership. If you are under the age of 18 and aren't a college student or alum, I don't care what you want to be. If you want to be in a sorority other than mine, don't expect me to try to speak negatively about that other sorority and persuade you to join mine when you FINALLY go to college. I had a child in the family try that with me over the holiday. LOL.
I wish you had told my mother and aunt all this.
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  #44  
Old 01-05-2010, 06:29 AM
carnation carnation is offline
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I missed this book. It sounds like a must read. Wow! Life imitates art or is it the other way around?
Heartbreak Hotel is by Anne Rivers Siddons, an Auburn Tri Delt. It was based in the fifties but since I only saw the movie when it came out years ago, I don't remember if the movie was true to that. The book is fabulous!
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  #45  
Old 01-05-2010, 06:29 AM
HappyKappaMom HappyKappaMom is offline
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I also like to read the City Data forums about the South and there are a lot of similiarities to this thread. Northerners who move to the Carolinas, etc., are so confused; they just don't understand the South has it's own, different culture.
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