home for summer between frosh and soph year? READ THIS

amycat412 · #1 06-29-2001, 11:24 PM

Hey sophomores to be-

I've noticed in several posts you guys who are now home for the summer after being away for your freshman year saying that you're feeling depressed, not getting along with parents, miss your friends, feeling sad, etc.

I want you all to know what you're feeling is the natural result of being on your own.

You've just spent 9 months on your own--coming home is bound to feel restricting. You've begun to forge the adult you will become, leaving the teenager from high school behind. Your friends and families know this teenager and may treat you accordingly, which may contribute to your feelings of alienation. Its normal, you now have a life of your own separate from your family, separate from your hometown friends.

I spent that whole summer sad and longing to get back to school and writing long letters to my friends daily--this was, after all, 1988--no email yet.

So hang in there and be patient with your hometown folks, give them some time to get to know the educated adult you are and forget about the high school kid you were. Show them how you've grown and matured over the past school year, and in time, they'll be likely to relax the restrictions they may be placing on you.

And if all else fails--fall is only a couple of months away and you will be back in your own world.

Sophomore year-- I stayed at school for the summer.

ha ha

Amy

AlphaChiGirl · #2 06-30-2001, 12:15 AM

So true...I felt the same way the summer after my freshman year. I decided to come home this summer because this past year was very stressful, and I was ready to get away from Providence for a spell. Plus, I'm preparing for a semester abroad. I probably shouldn't have come home for the entire summer, but what doesn't kill me will make me stronger.

I do realize that not everyone has the luxury of not going home for the summer...some people have to work, take care of younger siblings, what have you. I also realize that for some, home isn't that great of a place, and coming back to it can be hard. I have many friends who came out during college and will not return to my small Southern town for any length of time.

So, just hang in there, and even if you have to go back home every summer, it's never as bad as the first summer home.

juniorgrrl · #3 06-30-2001, 12:26 AM

Honestly, this summer, the summer between my junior and senior year has been the toughest so far for me! Its for all the above stated reasons, but before now, I was able to deal.

Did anyone see the thing on Oprah about the "Quarterlife Crisis?" I'm thinking its applying to all of us bummed-out-home-for-the-summer-college-kids

Dianne · #4 06-30-2001, 10:46 AM

For those of you who would like to not go home next summer, and stay at school, convince your parents to let you take summer classes, or check out campus jobs. Campus jobs are the best - you don't work weekends, you don't work past 5 or 6 pm, and you set your own hours! It sure beats staying at home, and eventually your parents will get used to it. When I was a senior in HS, my mom suddenly started crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "I just know that once you leave for school, you'll never move home again!" Well, she was right, but I think she has learned to live with it. Our moms will survive!

ZTAMich · #5 06-30-2001, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by juniorgrrl:
Did anyone see the thing on Oprah about the "Quarterlife Crisis?" I'm thinking its applying to all of us bummed-out-home-for-the-summer-college-kids

I couldn't agree more!!

crazyleggedsigma · #6 07-01-2001, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAMich:
I couldn't agree more!!

Does anyone remember the details about the book they talked about? I wrote it down, but then lost the paper. I think I'd benefit from reading it, and I bet there are others out there who would as well.

IowaHawkeye · #7 07-01-2001, 01:47 PM

This is my first summer back after my freshamn year of college, and I am loving being home! My parents are being very cool becuase they realize that i'm a "big kid" now and in a month i'll be back at school doing whatever i want anyway, so why ruin my summer by being strict and in my business? I'm taking classes at the local community college (which is great b/c they transfer and are much easier than my university - what can i say, during summer I ama slacker) and i love seeing my friends from high school! Of course I miss my college friends and my sisters - but whats even more fun is going on road trips to see them and where they're from. Plus, you can't beat mom and dad paying for groceries, laundry, vacations, and all of the necessities!

RACH_DG · #8 07-02-2001, 10:51 AM

Well, I have to say that the summer after my freshman year was horrible. My parents are really strict so therefore, I had an early curfew when I was used to staying out as late as I wanted. Also, it seemed as though all of my friends' parents were way cooler about that curfew thing than mine were, allowing them to stay out late or whatever. So, that made it hard cause I couldn't even stay out past 12:00 when all my old high school friends weren't even going out till 12:00. Anyway, needless to say I was VERY excited to go back to school. However, this year hasn't seemed to be so bad. I work continuously, so I really don't want to stay out late anyway, and I pretty much do my own thing because my parents have kind of eased up and know that I'm not going to run wild like I have to admit that I might have after my freshman year. However, I am still looking forward to school starting back. I know I will miss my family, since I am going to summer school next summer and this is the last summer I will be home so that is kind of sad. But, all in all, my second summer home hasn't been that bad, so far...I guess it could get worse, since there is still a month left...I will just keep my fingers crossed!!!

juniorgrrl · #9 07-02-2001, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RACH_DG:
Well, I have to say that the summer after my freshman year was horrible. My parents are really strict so therefore, I had an early curfew when I was used to staying out as late as I wanted. Also, it seemed as though all of my friends' parents were way cooler about that curfew thing than mine were, allowing them to stay out late or whatever. So, that made it hard cause I couldn't even stay out past 12:00 when all my old high school friends weren't even going out till 12:00. Anyway, needless to say I was VERY excited to go back to school. However, this year hasn't seemed to be so bad. I work continuously, so I really don't want to stay out late anyway, and I pretty much do my own thing because my parents have kind of eased up and know that I'm not going to run wild like I have to admit that I might have after my freshman year. However, I am still looking forward to school starting back. I know I will miss my family, since I am going to summer school next summer and this is the last summer I will be home so that is kind of sad. But, all in all, my second summer home hasn't been that bad, so far...I guess it could get worse, since there is still a month left...I will just keep my fingers crossed!!!

Lots of my friends' parents just don't really care anymore, just as long as their kids are safe. My mom is still pretty strict - 11:30 on weekends, 10:30 on weeknights. She still waits up for me whenever I go out, and I catch hell if I spend too much time with friends and not her. And the only one of my friends that is in town this summer is my boyfriend

I was thinking of driving up to school for a friend's 21st b-day party, and just staying over with a friend. My mom keeps asking "I don't understand why she's not having her birthday party at home with her family"

My mom's just not getting it

I think my mom kind of kids herself that I'm not doing whatever I want at college. I think she thinks that if I go out, I'm back in by 11:30. Oh, if she only knew...

josh8o · #10 07-02-2001, 07:39 PM

I am home for the summer for the first time too, and I totally feel the same way. If the fall semester could start tomorrow I would hop on a flight back to SD in a minute. I am home between my sophomore and junior year, or if you want to be technical my sophomore and sophomore year...some of my classes did not transfer. AHHHH! I stayed at home my first 3 semesters of school, then transferred to SDSU so I am now feeling what everyone else is.

InquiringMind · #11 07-02-2001, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juniorgrrl:
Honestly, this summer, the summer between my junior and senior year has been the toughest so far for me! Its for all the above stated reasons, but before now, I was able to deal.

I'm with ya on that one!! Last summer I could somewhat deal because my (then) boyfriend was here. But this year, my bf is in the city I go to school in. The freedom issue doesn't matter that much anymore b/c I almost have no desire to go anywhere--all of my friends are in different cities. This will definitely be my last summer at home!