"Go in with an open mind."

[Nanners52674]

Originally Posted by TakeALook

I'll consider the reputation as a part of my decision.

And that right there is the problem. You spent how many posts in this thread saying the exact opposite of that statement?

[KSUViolet06]

Are you reading what you post?

I mean, seriously.

You're saying "well I obviously am not going to let it influence my decisions."

Then in like the next sentence you say something like "but I plan on considering the reputations as part of my decisions."

How does one let and not let at the same time? Makes no sense.

And if you're planning on making a close decision between a #1 and #2 ranking at pref based on what other people think (that's what rep is), you could potentially end up making the wrong decision for YOU because you based your decision on the opinions of other folks.

[TakeALook]

Originally Posted by Nanners52674

And that right there is the problem. You spent how many posts in this thread saying the exact opposite of that statement?

I'm not sure how I could make this more clear, but I'll try.
I think reputation is one factor in choosing a sorority. It does not need to be the deciding factor.
I would disregard a negative reputation if it was about an issue that did not matter to me or if the positives outweighed the negatives.
I think it is naive to be unaware of the reputations of certain houses. Ignorance may be bliss, but I'd rather be informed.
I understand that not all reputations are based on fact. However, they will affect a member of the organization and I think it's okay to want to know what you're getting yourself into.
I think every PNM should give each house a fair shot during the actual parties of rush and, when it comes time to rank, consider all possible variables, including reputations.

We aren't arguing, right? This is just a discussion of opinions.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by TakeALook

I'm not sure how I could make this more clear, but I'll try.
I think reputation is one factor in choosing a sorority. It does not need to be the deciding factor.
I would disregard a negative reputation if it was about an issue that did not matter to me or if the positives outweighed the negatives.
I think it is naive to be unaware of the reputations of certain houses. Ignorance may be bliss, but I'd rather be informed.
I understand that not all reputations are based on fact. However, they will affect a member of the organization and I think it's okay to want to know what you're getting yourself into.
I think every PNM should give each house a fair shot during the actual parties of rush and, when it comes time to rank, consider all possible variables, including reputations.

We aren't arguing, right? This is just a discussion of opinions.

I'm not sure how we can make this any clearer, but I'll try.

REPUTATIONS SHOULDN'T AFFECT YOUR RECRUITMENT DECISIONS.

If you absolutely love an organization, who cares what Random Reggie has to say about your house? While there may be some truth to reputations, most of them are usually rooted in BS (Joe Smith dated an XYZ, they broke up, and now XYZ is the "slut" or "ugly" house).

Listen to what these women (who have already gone through recruitment) are telling you. They're not idiots.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I'm not sure how we can make this any clearer, but I'll try.

REPUTATIONS SHOULDN'T AFFECT YOUR RECRUITMENT DECISIONS.

If you absolutely love an organization, who cares what Random Reggie has to say about your house? While there may be some truth to reputations, most of them are usually rooted in BS (Joe Smith dated an XYZ, they broke up, and now XYZ is the "slut" or "ugly" house).

Listen to what these women (who have already gone through recruitment) are telling you. They're not idiots.

Thank you.

Recruitment is about you and the chapters.

Not you, the chapters, and what everyone thinks of the chapters.

That's why it's something we don't make a habit of talking about here.

It doesn't make you more informed, it just makes you someone who cares too much about what other folks think.

This is really all I'm trying to say, but if someone is determined to care about that, then hey. Whatever floats their particular boat.

[TakeALook]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It doesn't make you more informed, it just makes you someone who cares too much about what other folks think.

This is really all I'm trying to say, but if someone is determined to care about that, then hey. Whatever floats their particular boat.

This is probably true. I, as well as most incoming freshmen, tend to worry too much about what other people think.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by TakeALook

This is probably true. I, as well as most incoming freshmen, tend to worry too much about what other people think.

This is very true.

Now that you recognize this, don't fall into the trap of caring what anyone else thinks.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by TakeALook

Say ABC is known as "the rich sorority" and is the favorite sorority for greek-bashers to hate on because their house is so nice, they are a "top tier" chapter at my school and they are known for having southern money. If I rush and love everyone in this house, feel at home, and get a bid from ABC, I'm going to join it because all of those positives are enough to outweigh the fact that the anti-greek community will judge me.

However, if I'm torn between ABC and DEF (an unknown, bottom tier sorority that rarely gets picked on), I'll consider the reputation as a part of my decision. Being "top tier" is not always an easy reputation to handle.

It's not so much wanting to know the tiers or reputations in order to know which sororities are "the good ones," but rather trying to understand the stigma surrounding certain letters in order to be able to weigh it as a factor in the decision process.

Why do you give a flying fig about what the anti-Greek community thinks? FWIW, I joined probably the most laid-back sorority at a very overall laid-back school (like, the complete opposite of SEC) and I STILL had people say things to me like "I would never pay for my friends" and "sororities separate you from everyone else."

Haters gonna hate, period. If you let them influence what you do and the choices you make, this is just the beginning of a long and miserable life. You started this with some valid concerns, but now you're just being really shallow and silly.

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by TakeALook

If ABC is known as the extremely conservative group and their dresses are really short, it'll be a conundrum and the point will be moot, but it's worth making a note of whether they're dressed like they're Amish or heading to a club.

Originally Posted by TakeALook

And, as I have said before, I think you can seek the information, but require it to be validated or take it with a grain of salt.

Just wondering. How do you intend to validated the information in a timely fashion (no hear say, but with facts) to make an informed decision during rush?

[ASTalumna06]

I believe that TakeALook came here looking for reputations about the sororities and is now upset that she’s not going to receive any such information from us.

However.. I will say this.. I have been a member of this board for just over 2 years now, and I have read many threads started by many new members and active sisters who have had questions/concerns/complaints about their sorority… but I can’t think of ONE where someone said, “The hockey team thinks we’re all fat.. what do I do?!” or “My friend told me that ABC has a bad reputation.. I don’t want to be a member anymore!”

When I joined my sorority, I must say there were some good-looking girls in the chapter. Not drop-dead gorgeous, but they didn’t have a problem getting any attention from guys, either. I will admit, it was a little intimidating at first. However, I still heard, “You can’t spell nasty without AST” more times than I can count. I had people tell me that they were stuck up bitches and were sooooo exclusive. A male acquaintance, after I told him I had attended two of their recruitment events, asked, “Wow, do you think they’ll actually let you join?” And he was serious. And it wasn’t an insult to me, but to them.

But a sister actually came to my dorm and brought me to a recruitment event, and I had such a great time. The girls were amazing. And even in a chapter as small as mine, they were all so different. I knew that's where I wanted to be... regardless of what anyone else thought.

I only hope for your sake, TakeALook, that you didn't let others' opinions determine where you're attending school... or what to major in... or who your boyfriend is... or who your friends are!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I believe that TakeALook came here looking for reputations about the sororities and is now upset that she’s not going to receive any such information from us.

Yeah, I'm amused by the "I just wanted to ask about something I didn't know anything about but I'm not going to change my mind why can't I know I swear I'd be responsible about it." Like we're keeping a big secret from her.

[psusue]

Let me just say a few words to try to dissuade you from your way of thinking as well as try to talk to you, just woman to woman.

First, your thought about how you should be aware of reputations and how they should be a factor in your decision making process is false. Case in point? Pi Chi's. These woman are chosen the previous year and have sworn to disaffiliate from their sorority in order to be neutral guides to the newfound Greek world for PNMs. They forgo their loyalties to their sorority in order to promote Greek life as a whole (much like we often do on this site, although you typically know our affiliations.) These are the women you grow to know and love over the course of the week (not always, but more often than not), and you know what is unique about them? They are all Greek, from different chapters, yet they seek to know you and help you find your home just the same. The point of me mentioning this? When recruitment is over, you realize that (depending on the number of Pi Chi's you have) you have x amount of girls (typically 1-2) from different chapters that you like! And often, you don't even know what sorority they are in! Basically, you find that you like these women, as women, and that in the end their affiliation doesn't matter. In a perfect world, that is how recruitment should run.

A friend of mine once said that she really wished that we could do recruitment with all of the sororities just taking new "letters" for the week (ex: Tri Sigma would be ABC, another sorority would be DEF), and then the girls would not even be aware of which sororities they were going to, and could just completely based on personality and fit. Now obviously there would still be the differences in opinions, and maybe it would not change anything at all, but ideally, this, I believe, is how you should go through recruitment.

Let me break it down further. When you are going to each chapter, think of it this way-- do you like the women you find around you? Now try to be aware of superficial things, like what they are wearing or how good of a rusher they are, because those things can change. But think to yourself, could these women be my friends? Or am I just being an insecure middle schooler again, being nice to the "mean girls" because I want to be like them (superficially accepted, pretty, well put together), even though I have nothing in common with them and am uncomfortable being myself with them? If you fit in with these girls (which of course would mean that they were stereotyped unfairly too, because they themselves were called "mean" when they were not because of jealousy or other utter nonsense), by all means, join the chapter. If you are simply trying to be who you're not because you feel that their letters would appear more favorable across your chest, think again.

Being an ABC does not make you hot, nice, smart, put together, or athletic, and being an XYZ does not make you fat, ugly, insecure, dumb, or a slut. You are who you are, and having letters does not change that. You decide to be who you are and hopefully you will find a sisterhood that complements that. And hopefully you will realize that a sorority is no more than that-- a group of individuals with the common goal of being better women, united at this difficult time for mutual support.

[Barbie's_Rush]

So exactly who are you going to trust to give you the correct information on reputations? Other pnms who also just arrived on campus and have only heard rumors? Fraternity guys? Random strangers on the internet? Do you expect a consensus? Is there a certain number of people who have to tell you "oh the xyzs are nasty hos" before you decide it must be so?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by TakeALook

Isn't it possible to be aware of the tiers and reputations and not get caught up in them? Like, if I fall in love with the "ugly, fat girl" sorority, I'm still going to join it, but I'd like to know that other people have that stereotype so that I can actively work against it. Or, if I fall in love with the top tier, big name sorority, it's probably better to know that they are so competitive so that if/when they cut me, it's not devastating, right?
There has to be a way to hear all of the tent talk and take it with multiple grains of salt.

I'd be shocked if you manage to go all the way through recruitment having NO idea about the stereotypes or tiers. Believe me, you'll hear plenty of garbage.

[TakeALook]

Originally Posted by psusue

Let me just say a few words to try to dissuade you from your way of thinking as well as try to talk to you, just woman to woman.

First, your thought about how you should be aware of reputations and how they should be a factor in your decision making process is false. Case in point? Pi Chi's. These woman are chosen the previous year and have sworn to disaffiliate from their sorority in order to be neutral guides to the newfound Greek world for PNMs. They forgo their loyalties to their sorority in order to promote Greek life as a whole (much like we often do on this site, although you typically know our affiliations.) These are the women you grow to know and love over the course of the week (not always, but more often than not), and you know what is unique about them? They are all Greek, from different chapters, yet they seek to know you and help you find your home just the same. The point of me mentioning this? When recruitment is over, you realize that (depending on the number of Pi Chi's you have) you have x amount of girls (typically 1-2) from different chapters that you like! And often, you don't even know what sorority they are in! Basically, you find that you like these women, as women, and that in the end their affiliation doesn't matter. In a perfect world, that is how recruitment should run.

A friend of mine once said that she really wished that we could do recruitment with all of the sororities just taking new "letters" for the week (ex: Tri Sigma would be ABC, another sorority would be DEF), and then the girls would not even be aware of which sororities they were going to, and could just completely based on personality and fit. Now obviously there would still be the differences in opinions, and maybe it would not change anything at all, but ideally, this, I believe, is how you should go through recruitment.

Let me break it down further. When you are going to each chapter, think of it this way-- do you like the women you find around you? Now try to be aware of superficial things, like what they are wearing or how good of a rusher they are, because those things can change. But think to yourself, could these women be my friends? Or am I just being an insecure middle schooler again, being nice to the "mean girls" because I want to be like them (superficially accepted, pretty, well put together), even though I have nothing in common with them and am uncomfortable being myself with them? If you fit in with these girls (which of course would mean that they were stereotyped unfairly too, because they themselves were called "mean" when they were not because of jealousy or other utter nonsense), by all means, join the chapter. If you are simply trying to be who you're not because you feel that their letters would appear more favorable across your chest, think again.

Being an ABC does not make you hot, nice, smart, put together, or athletic, and being an XYZ does not make you fat, ugly, insecure, dumb, or a slut. You are who you are, and having letters does not change that. You decide to be who you are and hopefully you will find a sisterhood that complements that. And hopefully you will realize that a sorority is no more than that-- a group of individuals with the common goal of being better women, united at this difficult time for mutual support.

This is solid advice. Thank you. You're right, in a perfect world, reputations wouldn't matter and it is important to feel a connection with a house on the basis of sisterhood and what feels right. You are absolutely right.

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I believe that TakeALook came here looking for reputations about the sororities and is now upset that she’s not going to receive any such information from us.

Easy misunderstanding. I am not asking you to give me any such information, merely to discuss why it's so taboo for PNMs to want it.

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

So exactly who are you going to trust to give you the correct information on reputations? Other pnms who also just arrived on campus and have only heard rumors? Fraternity guys? Random strangers on the internet? Do you expect a consensus? Is there a certain number of people who have to tell you "oh the xyzs are nasty hos" before you decide it must be so?

Well, yes. I wouldn't say there's an exact number, but multiple people would have to express similar opinions that "XYZs are nasty hos" before I would consider it a commonly accepted opinion. Those people would be a combination of those I speak to: frat guys, friends on campus both in and out of sororities, facebook friends' pictures I can see, etc.
I'm not saying that opinion is an accurate representation of all XYZs, but it's something that some people would associate with the letters. And I care too much about what other people think. We've established that.