Toxic Relationship with Parents??

[AlphaGam1019]

Originally posted by James
They are toxic. . . get rid of them. whats so hard to understand? When someone causes you grief . . . you disasociate.

haha. easier said than done. I think for most people with toxic parents-- they want to work things out. We've been raised to excuse our parents for their behavior cause we had no other real choice in the matter. So when it comes time to cut them off (or whatever) it's not easy.

[winnieb]

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old. My relationship with my mom is okay. She is very judgmental. If I mention I bought something new or went out to dinner, I get lectured that I shouldn't spend so much money. However, she needs to realize I am an adult with a husband and kids, own a house, and I don't borrow money!! So I am on eggshells trying to decide what I can and cannot say to avoid the disappoving looks and lectures.

My father-- that realtionship could send me into a mental hospital at times. He has a very mess up family himself, so I am sure he never learned what family is suppose to be. He never attends anything of mine, never did when I was a child either. He did attend my wedding, but bitched that he had to go to Vegas for it. My dad and step mom hand everything to my step brother-- from his drug rehab, to his lawyers for his trafficing cocaine conviction, to sending him to Mexico while he was in violation of parole. The guy is a loser and gets everything. I get nothing, can't even get them to watch my kids for 2 hours.
My father has no clue what goes on in my life, nor does he care. I try to tell myself to cut ties but it is alot harder than one would think. I know I need to confront him, as I tell myself he is clueless about the situation but I just can't do it.

I am getting up more and more nerve every day to confront him. I have noticed recently that my boys are experiencing the same thing I have. My step brothers girls are given the world by my dad. My boys get their bdays forgotten. I think that will be the final straw for me--he will hurt one of my kids feelings and then I will let out every pent up emotion I have on that man!!!

My dad has a son from his first wife, they never see each other-- I found out about him when I was 14yrs old. My dad didn't think I needed to know, until he showed up at the house one weekend. My dad has no clue where his son is or anything about him. Also, my dad has no clue that my brother and I talked every single day and are very close. I think my brother was the only positive thing my father contributed to my life, and my dad doesn't have a clue!!!

-wendi