Can you trust THEM?

PM_Mama00 · #1 03-05-2003, 10:18 PM

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I just wana apologize to those who really HAVE been affected by this sometime in their life.

Last year a really shocking story came to me... one of my high school teachers was accused of sexual harassment. I was really hurt by this. I never had him as a teacher, but all the students knew him well, and my brother who is 10 years older than me knew him also. There were always jokes made about how he would give girls As if they wore short skirts. They were jokes tho, nothing serious. He was the kinda teacher you went to and sat down and talked to. My friends that go to UMD with me were upset by this also. Riverview is a very very small city, and it was definately the talk of the town... besides it making Breaking News on television stations.

The story was that this girl was mad because the teacher sent her boyfriend to the office for acting rowdy in class. This teacher hardly EVER sent students to the office, so it musta been out of hand. So she goes and says that the teacher touched her. All of a sudden all these accusations come up. Then I see this girl (that I know who is NOT very trustworthy) interviewd on the news saying that girls were always warned to walk with a book in front of their chest when around the teacher. I was like the school gossip girl for 4 years... I never ONCE heard that.

Anyways he's goes to court and is found INNOCENT! Everyone is happy cuz they knew this girl was full of shit. But... the teacher, even tho retired, is not allowed in or near the school, and is pretty much ruined for life.

My friend just told me a story of how he went to church today and found out that his priest that he's known since grade school is being accused of sexual things from way back in the day, so now he was granted Senior Priest status. My friend went on a ski trip in high school and the priest never did anything of the such. And another lady who was just interviewed on the news said all types of things that just don't add up.

So what my point is... how can the public trust some of the accusations that are coming out? It's like everyone is goin sue happy. The girl from my high school was way trashy (I'm talkin like whole family involved in not so nice things), and this lady I just saw on the news is pretty trashy (my friend was also sittin next to her). It kinda seems like some of these not so lucky people are making these accusations in attempt to get some money. It's kinda starting to make me sick.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/det/ne...05-150316.html

What are all your thoughts? Sorry this was so long.

DeltaZeecutie · #2 03-06-2003, 01:17 AM

It's absolutely horrible. I know that it does happen at times but a lot of girls use this as an attention getter. A girl from my high school did it and got the teacher to transfer to another school. He was a young attractive teacher (who I personally wanted to get on

) and was friends with all of the students but would never ever cross the line. So for this girl to make up this vicious rumor and people actually to believe it was horrible. I felt so bad for him and he was such a positive and good influence to our school. It's so sad what people can get away with these days.

XOMichelle · #3 03-06-2003, 02:48 AM

Stats...

I have heard from a number of rape speakers that most women report things that actually did happen. I wonder if that is similar for sexual harassment.
It's the *few* people who lie that whack the rest of the justice system when sexual harassment (which is very real and very scary) happens for real.

Sometimes the people who commit crimes of date rape are the ones we would least expect to do it-- maybe that's why they think they've done nothing wrong, becasue they are technically "good people".
-M

Lady Pi Phi · #4 03-06-2003, 07:09 AM

My former math teacher in highschool was charged with 20 counts of sexua assult. I was shocked to hear the news. He was also my brothers math teacher.
The teacher has since retired, and I believed all charges were dropped, but you can't help wondering if any of the allegations are true.
However, whether they are true or not they are vey damaging to a person. My teahcers children also went to school. His youngest daughter was there when the charges came out.
But you also have to udnerstand my school. Starting in grade 9 there were accusations and chares made by teachers and students about everything under the sun. Good ol' Scumberside...I mean Humberside.

ilovemyglo · #5 03-06-2003, 09:40 AM

I live in Louisville as most of you know.
This is the city with the most sexual molestion charges against priest, and the number one priest is Father Louis Miller.

This is also a close family friend.
My brother considered becoming a priest in high school and spoke with Father Miller.
He was at our house for dinner after we had it built and blessed it
He was at my high school graduation party and blessed me.
He spent many nights and days working side by side with my family at our parish.
I was alone with him dozens of times. My brothers were alone with as much as I was.
My parents received counsel from him on making changes in their lives and he renewed my mother's faith in God after the death of her father.
This man was a wonderful friend to my family. We called him on every holiday and he called us all the time to say hello. When I answered the phone I always smiled knowing it was Father Miller. He was always a good man to us and around us. I loving person that I considered a role model for all priests.
It is so hard to reconcile this with myself because I remember Father being sent away from our parish to work at a nursing home and he told me that he retired from weddings but he would commit to presiding at my wedding.

I know that most of the allegations must be true, and they even published part of his journal in the newspaper. It is so hard to deal with because we trusted him so much. The abuse stopped someone around 1990 but still... we had no clue.

I have learned that you never really know someone until you know their skeletons and those are hard to find!

PM_Mama00 · #6 03-06-2003, 12:24 PM

I get what you're all saying, but with my teacher's case, he was accused of doin whatever he did publicly. Students were interviewed, and the only ones who said they saw or noticed anything were her trashy friends.

Another thing is that he was found innocent. Now wouldn't you think that if it was true, this girl and her family would have kept pursuing it until "justice was served"? That's a lil fishy.

James · #7 03-06-2003, 12:30 PM

I would ask you this:

If good people do bad things, are they bad people?

How to do you fill out a balance sheet to determine the sum value of a person's life?

Also, sexual harrassment and sex crimes in general are PC crimes right now. I usually determine PC crimes as crimes or situations that we are made so hyper sensitive about that it triggers reactions that can be out of proportion to actual situation.

Look at some of our racism threads.

So, right now people are really sensitive about sexual situations and they tend to get a very passionate response from people.

Is it right? Well no. But we allow that type of culture to exist.

Munchkin03 · #8 03-06-2003, 12:47 PM

It's really really hard. I'm not saying this is the general case, but we all know how catty students (and their parents) can be in HS when something is on the line. There is also a very very gray area in what can be defined as "sexual harassment". These two conditions often lead to volatile situations.

I would say that unless YOU, PERSONALLY, had a reason to distrust them (personal experience, a confession, etc.) that it's okay to continue trusting them. It bothers me that a lot of good clergy out there (and I'm not even Christian!) will be dragged through the mud because someone's parent is mad that a priest/rabbi/rector did something as innocent as giving their child a hug.