GreekChat.com Forums  

Go Back   GreekChat.com Forums > Recruitment > Sorority Recruitment

Sorority Recruitment Recruitment event and bid day ideas, membership retention, publicity, recruitment policies, etc.


Register Now for FREE!
Join GreekChat.com, The Fraternity & Sorority Greek Chat Network. To sign up for your FREE account INSTANTLY fill out the form below!

Username: Password: Confirm Password: E-Mail: Confirm E-Mail:
 
Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.

  I agree to forum rules 

» GC Stats
Members: 325,125
Threads: 115,503
Posts: 2,196,056
Welcome to our newest member, PiperJarma
» Online Users: 1,044
0 members and 1,044 guests
No Members online
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #46  
Old 10-03-2017, 06:17 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: naples, florida
Posts: 18,410
Is your daughter close friends with all the girls on her hall? No? She has been living in her dorm a lot longer than she has been in her sorority.

My point is making friends in the dorm or sorority takes time. If, after she has taken ALL her lunches and dinners there, attended ALL meetings and sorority events for several weeks, she feels there is no inkling of friendship, she can de-pledge before initiation.
__________________
I live in Fantasyland and I have waterfront property.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 10-03-2017, 07:48 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,489
I think it's not just the everyone gets a trophy culture, it's that their lives have been so much more regimented than in previous generations, even in what is supposed to be recreational time.

I mean...I never had "play dates." I went and knocked on my friend's door, or we all just ended up outside. The closest I got to "organized sports" was when our 4th grade class decided to pick kickball teams at the beginning of the year and keep them for the rest of the year. And that was our idea, not the teacher's. From what I get now, random pickup games of any sort are rare as hen's teeth. Combine all that with years of NCLB standardized testing and it's no wonder that young adults just think "I did this, so I should get that." It doesn't occur that friendship is a different story.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 10-03-2017, 08:07 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 320
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
I think it's not just the everyone gets a trophy culture, it's that their lives have been so much more regimented than in previous generations, even in what is supposed to be recreational time.

I mean...I never had "play dates." I went and knocked on my friend's door, or we all just ended up outside. The closest I got to "organized sports" was when our 4th grade class decided to pick kickball teams at the beginning of the year and keep them for the rest of the year. And that was our idea, not the teacher's. From what I get now, random pickup games of any sort are rare as hen's teeth. Combine all that with years of NCLB standardized testing and it's no wonder that young adults just think "I did this, so I should get that." It doesn't occur that friendship is a different story.
Excellent point and I agree. Add in helicopter parents and it gets worse.

It's being called "Adjustment Disorder" in college counseling centers. Some kids are having a tough time in the real world on their own.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 10-04-2017, 12:21 AM
TXDG TXDG is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 146
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCMS View Post
Excellent point and I agree. Add in helicopter parents and it gets worse.

It's being called "Adjustment Disorder" in college counseling centers. Some kids are having a tough time in the real world on their own.
I agree. My mother NEVER would have posted on Greek Chat for/about me, nor would she have posted something basically shaming the "system" for not treating me right. Not just picking on the OP but we've had a couple of threads this season with the common theme of "my daughter didn't get into the 'right' house and doesn't feel an instant connection, therefore the system is broken and must be fixed."

Sororities are the ultimate team environment - it's never about "me", it's about "we". The women must work together to achieve their goals, whether it's a higher GPA or a more robust social calendar or being more visible on campus. It doesn't function when a bunch of prime donnas are upset they aren't being fawned over. Roll up your sleeves, young ladies, and get to work.

I was unsure of my decision on Bid Day. I got my #1 pref but I still vividly remember a girl in my pledge class crying hysterically because she thought she was going to a different sorority (she later became a VP in our chapter, fwiw!). I felt like I didn't really have a solid friend group in my chapter until I moved into the house my sophomore year and I certainly didn't feel like I had bff's 1 week into my pledge period....but good Lord I didn't tell my mom about any of that stuff!! (Especially since they paid my dues!!) I knew I had to find my own path, the same advice my mom gave me in high school..."if you want a friend, you first have to be a friend."
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 10-04-2017, 02:20 PM
NerdyGreek NerdyGreek is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 7
There's an awful lot of (wrong) assumptions being made about me and my daughter on this thread. This is not the stereotypical situation with someone wishing they were in a top tier sorority. More like fish-out-of-water who actually wanted a sorority many snub their noses at.

I don't believe everyone needs to accept a system where girls are meant to feel so bad after going through rush that they feel their only option is to drop out of school. Or where only those that can afford the most expensive houses on campus should be allowed to rush. Or even where it's become common not to actually like the sorority you get a bid from. It's not like this at my alma mater or the university my alumni group is affiliated with and I don't understand why it's accepted at other universities.
Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old 10-04-2017, 02:42 PM
carnation carnation is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 13,798
This thing is--you can't just walk into your sorority/sororities of choice. A university where I used to teach decided to implement that one year for their 3 (then) locals. It was disastrous. Some pretty awful kids barged into some nice groups. Do you know how much damage even 1 overdramatic member can do?

There is no way that a recruitment will ever be conducted in which a PNM can declare, "OK, I will only accept these 5 out of the 14 groups," and 1 of them must agree to give her a bid.
Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 10-04-2017, 02:46 PM
Kevin Kevin is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Posts: 18,654
Parents and PNMs need to understand that FSL groups, while we do consult closely with the school, we are private organizations, we are available to whom we choose to be available to. If a student does not get a bid, we suffer zero heartburn because we got who we wanted. For so long as the FSL groups control their own recruitment, they are going to design programs to get the members they want. Not the other way around.

On a competitive campus, if you don't have the looks, the smarts, the charm and the recs, you don't stand a chance.

And FSL groups are fine with that.
__________________
SN -SINCE 1869-
"EXCELLING WITH HONOR"
S N E T T
Mu Tau 5, Central Oklahoma
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 10-04-2017, 03:10 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 320
Quote:
Originally Posted by NerdyGreek View Post
I don't believe everyone needs to accept a system where girls are meant to feel so bad after going through rush that they feel their only option is to drop out of school. Or where only those that can afford the most expensive houses on campus should be allowed to rush. Or even where it's become common not to actually like the sorority you get a bid from. It's not like this at my alma mater or the university my alumni group is affiliated with and I don't understand why it's accepted at other universities.
Why RFM? Because this system gives the most girls possible a way to get a bid, even if that means girls don't get their preferred house. You want to see pain? That's what I witnessed during rush before RFM. My roommate got "the call" from the rush counselor and told that she would not be getting a bid.

Thanks to RFM, at least your daughter got a bid. Many a girl pre-RFM would have given their right arm to have gotten a bid to any house. The system isn't perfect, but it's set up to benefit the most girls possible. Imagine if your daughter had rushed pre-RFM and gotten no bid at all?

I'm honestly confused because you don't like the RFM system, yet the other way meant girls didn't get bids at all...so what system do you want?

If girls aren't willing or able to accept the harsh reality of a tough rush and the high costs at schools like Ole Miss and Bama, then they might be better at a school with a less competitive system, where sororities are housed in a dorm, so the cost is lower and it's easier to get the house you want. They are far more price-friendly, just like some colleges are.

Last edited by NYCMS; 10-04-2017 at 05:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 10-04-2017, 03:23 PM
BlueCarnation BlueCarnation is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 399
OP, I really hope your daughter will give it some more time. The system isn't perfect. We all know that. Your daughter got into a sorority at a school where most young women would kill to get a bid. Have her make the most of it. You can't get a feel for it in just a week. There have to be some girls she gets along with. Instead of blaming the system, why not help her try to see the positives? And if after a month or so, if she doesn't like it, then re-evaluate. I don't think she has to make any rash decisions now. But we all know recruitment isn't perfect and people don't always get their first choices. I didn't. I cried on bid day. I hated it the first month. Now I'm the one who organizes pledge class reunions.

Have her give it a chance.
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 10-04-2017, 04:11 PM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: N 37.811092 W -107.664643
Posts: 5,295
Am I the only one who's confused by the OP?

Initially the statement was that the daughter got a sorority she didn't want. Now, it's a "fish out of water" (huh?) who wanted a sorority at which others turned up their noses (paraphrasing for the sake of brevity). Then, when I let that sit and work all the way through, I go back to my original premise. And I'm still confused.

So, which one is it? Really having trouble figuring it out, or getting to the bottom of this. Am I just being too logical again, Captain Kirk? Sigh.
__________________
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 10-04-2017, 04:28 PM
carnation carnation is offline
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 13,798
No, I am too. Does she want us to band together to change rush at Ole Miss? Create a system in which all girls get the group they want? I'm not sure which is more improbable.
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 10-04-2017, 05:08 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,489
It makes no sense since the sororities inspiring nose upturn would be the ones with higher quotas, and if one listed them first, one would most likely get a bid from them.
__________________
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 10-04-2017, 05:39 PM
DGTess DGTess is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Bryan, TX
Posts: 1,034
Send a message via Yahoo to DGTess
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTheta View Post
Am I the only one who's confused by the OP?

<snip>
Nope.

I'm still reading the first post and wondering why a woman accepted a bid to the sorority she couldn't afford. Had she not signed the MRABA, she'd be available.
__________________
When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
Laws alone can not secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.-Einstein
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 10-04-2017, 06:13 PM
thetalady thetalady is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Big D
Posts: 3,008
Quote:
Originally Posted by DGTess View Post
I'm still reading the first post and wondering why a woman accepted a bid to the sorority she couldn't afford. Had she not signed the MRABA, she'd be available.
That one I actually do understand. No surprise... some sororities cost more than others. Maybe they have more activities, more expensive or elaborate activities.It is definitely more expensive to keep up some of the multi million dollar houses that the sororities have at Ole Miss.

Specific dollar figures are not published for a variety of reasons. Parents and PNMs look at the ranges of costs and think that they will miraculously end up in the lower end of the fee scale... and then bitch if they end up in less than a "top tier" chapter. They want a "top tier" experience, but not the price tag that comes with it.
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 10-04-2017, 07:34 PM
panhelrose panhelrose is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by BraveMaroon View Post
I think that so many people rush thinking they'll have a perfect rush, pledge the *best* sorority, and immediately be surrounded by instant lifelong friends.

Being in a sorority is work. It's a PR campaign, it's time management, and networking, and event planning. Sometimes it's arts and crafts, sometimes it's peer counseling, or first aid. You're an advice columnist, mediator, hostess, fundraiser, and negoitiator. This is on top of being a student. And any offices held or commitees joined...

But learning to work hard together builds friendships worth maintaining. I appreciate the effort I put into it, because I look at the work I did in the 90s and know it paved the way for the young women who will be initiated next month. And I know that I am part of something much bigger with an amazing history.

It's trite, I know. But you will get out of it what you put into it.
I've never read a truer statement. I WAS that PNM who thought she'd waltz into recruitment and automatically click with the "top" chapter at my university. When I didn't end up at that chapter after a few rounds, I found a new favorite, and luckily ended up with a bid to that group. I love my sisters and my organization with my whole heart, but it has never been effortless. For the past four years I've made the choice to join committees and chair positions, participate in extra activities, and spend time at the house talking with girls I don't know too well because YOU GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT. I was that girl who thought joining a sorority would make everything in my life perfect, but if these past four years have taught me anything, it's that my sorority will still be there for me when I need them, because I have been there for them, even if sometimes that's just showing up.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Change Colonist Greek Life 8 01-05-2004 09:22 AM
Should WE Pay for this Man's SEX CHANGE CrimsonTide4 Delta Sigma Theta 7 07-18-2003 11:31 AM
Spending Habits to change or not to change? PositivelyAKA Alpha Kappa Alpha 6 11-15-2001 01:12 PM
Change Caramelattsu Greek Life 8 06-08-2000 05:29 PM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:12 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.