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  #1  
Old 09-15-2019, 12:41 AM
appley appley is offline
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new rush story

hey everyone, I'm new to the greekchat community but I had just read a few recruitment stories and thought it'd be cool to share mine.

I hope that my experiences can help anyone else questioning rushing. At first I was super skeptical, I literally almost considered dropping before the first day. But after going through the motions, I'm super happy I pushed on because it's not that bad of an experience so far at all. I actually find it fun, and you get comfortable with the process after the first two houses (2 max.)

I also know absolutely no one who's rushing, so it's kinda a "daunting" experience. But like I said, after ~two houses on day 1 you get kinda used to it. I made really cool connections with a couple girls in my rush group. (I forgot to add them on snap or ig :( ) I also kinda don't want to get on that spiel about being a minority girl rushing a predominantly white campus/Greek Life, but I feel like it's important to mention and it may help other girls relate if that's a mutual concern.

Enough rambling,
so I'm rushing sororities at URI (University of Rhode Island) as a freshman and their sororities are:
Alpha Delta Pi
Alpha Xi Delta
Chi Omega
Delta Phi Epsilon
Delta Zeta
Kappa Delta
Phi Sigma Sigma
Sigma Delta Tau
Sigma Kappa
Zeta Tau Alpha

So I've already gone through the first two days of round 1, so I apologize if there isn't enough detail since I can't remember all of them (there are a lot of names, lots of houses, lots of rooms, lots of faces and my notes aren't that detailed sorry!)

Round 1, Day 1/2
So at the first house we went to we all didn't know what to expect. It was super "freaky" (I don't want to use that word but idk how else to describe it) when your RC knocks on the door and you just hear stomping and shouting lol. Nothing scary though, cause you soon learn that they all do it, haha.
Anyways, the girl I got paired with--I'll call her Naomi--was super nice. We had a really good conversation and they seemed welcoming. It was actually fairly calm since we were their first rush group, so you could sense that they all felt the same "nervousness" that we PNMs felt. I don't really remember much, since this was the very first house of day 1 of round 1 but I knew I liked the experience I got from the house. And it was so nice that the first house was a good experience cause it set the tone for the rest of the experience.

So whenever I think back on my experience with the second house we went to on the first day, I get so happy. I had such a good experience with the girl I was paired up with--I'll call her Jessica. This conversation felt so much more natural, like talking to a friend already. Jessica was amazing, bubbly and relatable. I loved our conversation, I think we talked about like dogs or something, but it was just a normal conversation you'd have with a friend you already have. The time flew by (sadly), and the house was absolutely gorgeous.
I couldn't help but compare this to the first house since it was a better experience for me. BUT, I'm not negatively judging the other house based on this one. I think it's cause I was more comfortable with this one since it was my second house, and the same goes to them. And I remember still liking the first house, they did a great job not making it awkward or super interview-y, especially being the first.

We had a short break before we went to the next house. (Sadly a girl in my rush group literally just went back to her dorm and quit) I'd like to mention that it was also super dark and cold (like 50 degrees) during all this, and we're all in short sleeves. I think at the last two houses (spoiler we saw four houses today) we were all shivering before knock.

After break, we went to the next house. I remember this house had a super cute... something in front of their house. I don't remember if it was a painting or a tapestry but it was nice. And their chalk art on the floor was so cool, it had their name and it was like an orange chalk ombre.
I got paired with "Tessa" and the only thing I can remember from this experience was that.. I just got weird vibes from it. I remember vividly during the financial presentation, I quickly glanced around at the other girls and I could see a few of them staring at me or making quick glances at me. Now I'm not one to quickly jump into, "it's because I'm not white!" I'm sure they were glancing at the rush group and I just happened to see them when they were looking at me, lol. I also remember that Tessa kept asking me the same questions, like she'd ask 6 questions, and I'd answer them and I guess she'd forget? so she'd ask me some questions again. Like I think she asked me what my major was twice, what classes I'm taking three times and where I was from twice. No harm, no foul though. Their house was also super nice.

Then we went to the final house of the day. I remember that for their chant they banged on the windows and it was kinda scary since it was super dark outside and we're all shivering but this experience was also AMAZING, I got the same happy vibes I got when I went to the second house (sorry to keep comparing). The girl I got paired with, "Angela" was super funny and chill. She made little jokes and we had a nice conversation, it felt like one you'd have with a friend too. The conversation just flowed naturally as we toured the house. After the financial presentation, another girl came up to me! (I didn't know this was a thing, not gonna lie I felt special in a way haha) "Lily" was "just like me" and our conversations flowed naturally too. It was super fun and cool talking to Angela and Lily at the same time, they were both super nice girls. The time flew by here too, sadly. And I'd like to take that as a good sign. The house was gorgeous and I also really loved this one.
This day just erased all my nerves about rushing. It was such a fun experience, and I had such a good time even if someone saw me literally jogging back to my dorm. It's cause I was cold!

Okay I hate to make this post super duper long, but sorry! I'm gonna do it anyways just to get round 1 completed and then I can update.. up-to-date, haha.

Round 2, Day 2/2
So everyone is used to this process already. It's the morning now and way warmer than day 1/2, which is even better. I had to run out of my dorm and I forgot my snacks and my water :( But I survived!

So we're going to the first house of day 2 and since it was my second day I wasn't nervous although this was the first house, since I already went to four houses the day before. I got paired with "Wendy" and all I can say is that.. the vibes just weren't it. The conversation felt super interview-y, it was really awkward! Like, Wendy kept running out of things to say to keep the conversation going so we'd have like a good two minutes of awkward silence and she'd find another interview-y question to ask me. I remember when we were touring the rooms she started complaining to me about having to wake up early for this. Like I understand that cause I take like an hour to fully wake up after waking up (like I wake up at 8:00 but I'm not good until 9:00 lol), but like the tone of it made it seem like she didn't want to be doing this (which I doubt was her intention but that's how it came off). I'd hate to already write a house off, so I'm still keeping an open mind.

At first the second house of day 2 kinda startled me. I was super tired and craving a coffee cause I idiotically did myself dirty by staying up later than I should've after day 1. So when I got paired with "Abby," she was super bubbly and loud (not in a bad way) and it kinda scared me at first lol. Don't worry though! It turned into a really nice conversation, we matched energy (which means I got more bubbly haha) and I really loved the vibes here and Abby was amazing. We talked about so many different things like family and travel and we ended up having like a 10 minute conversation about fruit, haha. It was so good.

In the third house I got paired with "Allison" and then switched off to "Rachel" for the house tour. I honestly don't remember much from that experience because SADLY, I was in need of that coffee. :( I know that I had a good experience though, but I think my coffee brain tuned me out of the whole experience, so I wasn't that into it, but I'm holding myself at fault and not the house.

At the fourth house, all I can tell you is that a bunch of girls in my rush group were super nervous for this house. I didn't do any research prior to rushing (besides looking up their philanthropies), so I don't really know anything about the standing of the sororities at URI but I just guessed that this might've been like a really big sorority on campus? maybe? idk. Either way I got paired with "Nadine" and we had a great conversation. It flowed nicely, we ended up finding like a mutual interest and talked about it for what felt like 20 minutes, and it was amazing. It was like a friend-like conversation right off the bat once we got comfortable. I even told her a super embarrassing story about something stupid I did (yikes), haha.
Then I got paired with "Sally" for the room tours and she was super nice too. I ended up telling her the same dumb story, lol. I really liked the house and the vibes of the house. It was super bright and refreshing after being such a coffee-zombie earlier. I liked this experience.

Lunch time! We got like an hour lunch break, I ended up not eating (bad, I know) and NOT GETTING A COFFEE. I just got a smoothie instead and ate Oreos in my dorm. Yes, I trudged all the way back to my dorm and chilled for a good 15 minutes. I think that allowed me to "wake up" (finally like 2/3 of the round later lol) and I didn't forget a snack and my water this time.
We also went through two fairly brief presentations with some PanHel members, and it was cool and informative. We even got to see some videos of greek events which looked super fun, it was like a sneak peek into the actual community sisterhood aspect.

Final two houses!
We went to the fifth house and I got paired with "Gretchen" (I'm so bad at making up names lol), and we had a good conversation. I think those Oreos were really doing the trick because I can't exactly remember the whole experience from this house (sorry!). I know that it was a nice conversation and nice vibes with the house though. Gretchen and I bonded on being in the same major so that was cool.

The last house! I got paired with "Hannah" and guess who was super drained again... me! Looks like I should've gotten that coffee, ugh. The vibes of the house were cool but Hannah kept dragging her jokes on for way too long.. which isn't terrible but after a while I just felt really awkward because she was into it and I was just like "yeah.. haha" yknow? It wasn't anything super bad or unsettling I guess (except the weird conversation about feet??) In the middle of my first conversation with Hannah, "Gia" came up and we talked for a bit, and then Gia went away and "Quinn" came and whisked me away to the house tour. The conversations were good I guess, nothing bad but it wasn't like a flowy friend-like conversation. Maybe we were all just drained. After the house tour I met back up with Hannah for like 5 minutes and then it was over.
Okay! That's it! *exhale*
I'm so sorry for making this super super long, but I'd better get all the information out before I forget all of it, haha.

I hope it doesn't annoy you that I didn't reveal the order :( idk if that's taboo and I don't want to get in trouble (just a freshie!)
Anyways, I hope this story is at the very least, readable and at the most, interesting. I'd love any advice or comments as I continue my journey. I'm trying my best to keep an open mind and positive attitude, and to never let coffee-zombie strike again lol!

Thanks!


Last edited by appley; 09-15-2019 at 09:20 AM. Reason: color
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  #2  
Old 09-15-2019, 01:34 AM
3DGator 3DGator is offline
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Please change the color of your [ront. The current color is difficult to see.
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  #3  
Old 09-15-2019, 05:37 AM
ZTA72 ZTA72 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3DGator View Post
Please change the color of your [ront. The current color is difficult to see.
Yes please, your color is very difficult to read. I'm interested in your story.
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  #4  
Old 09-15-2019, 06:48 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Your's may be the first story from your school. It's always interesting to read how rush is handled in other places. Looking forward to reading more ( maybe in a different color?)
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  #5  
Old 09-15-2019, 09:20 AM
appley appley is offline
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Posts: 6
Sorry about that guys! I just removed the color all together, hope it’s easier to read!
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  #6  
Old 09-15-2019, 09:34 AM
appley appley is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 6
Quick Update:
We just got our schedules and I only got called back by three sororities and I was dropped from all my top choices! I’m super bummed about it, but I’m gonna keep trying to have a positive attitude for the rest of today.

My first call back is from the sorority I met Wendy, which means I’m super uninterested but who knows?
...at least my schedule isn’t super busy? I guess that’s a positive. idk. I’m kinda sad and really disappointed but I overheard some girls talking about how “you don’t want to go back to a sorority that didn’t want you, you should be flattered that these sororities wanted you back.” Which is a great mindset but I think they got more than three lol.

Last edited by appley; 09-15-2019 at 09:35 AM. Reason: Indent
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  #7  
Old 09-15-2019, 10:18 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Location: Queens, NY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by appley View Post
Quick Update:
We just got our schedules and I only got called back by three sororities and I was dropped from all my top choices! Iím super bummed about it, but Iím gonna keep trying to have a positive attitude for the rest of today.

My first call back is from the sorority I met Wendy, which means Iím super uninterested but who knows?
...at least my schedule isnít super busy? I guess thatís a positive. idk. Iím kinda sad and really disappointed but I overheard some girls talking about how ďyou donít want to go back to a sorority that didnít want you, you should be flattered that these sororities wanted you back.Ē Which is a great mindset but I think they got more than three lol.
Regardless of how many invites they received, what they said is true. It's OK to be disappointed, but don't let that show when you visit the three sororities you have left. Go in knowing that these three see something in you and want to get to know you better, and that's a positive thing.

At this point, it doesn't hurt to stick it out at least a little longer and see what comes of it.

Good luck!
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  #8  
Old 09-15-2019, 11:40 AM
KellyO97 KellyO97 is offline
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Posts: 124
This is exciting for me, there hasn’t been a Rhody story in like 17 years. Good luck! There are a lot of great options at URI.
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  #9  
Old 09-15-2019, 11:47 AM
navane navane is offline
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Location: San Diego, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by appley View Post
My first call back is from the sorority I met Wendy, which means Iím super uninterested but who knows?
...at least my schedule isnít super busy? I guess thatís a positive. idk. Iím kinda sad and really disappointed but I overheard some girls talking about how ďyou donít want to go back to a sorority that didnít want you, you should be flattered that these sororities wanted you back.Ē Which is a great mindset but I think they got more than three lol.

You've been handling everything well so far! I would encourage you to give "Wendy's sorority" another chance. Yes, the conversation wasn't great; but, maybe this is her first time rushing and she's not good at it. Maybe you were feeling a little tired yourself. Maybe Wendy's just not your people but the next sister will be awesome. You never know, right? Good luck and I'm looking forward to reading your next update!
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  #10  
Old 09-15-2019, 06:08 PM
*winter* *winter* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FSUZeta View Post
Your's may be the first story from your school. It's always interesting to read how rush is handled in other places. Looking forward to reading more ( maybe in a different color?)
There was a crazy girl from URI, so she's the first normal one lol...

See: A sad and unique story.
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  #11  
Old 09-15-2019, 06:13 PM
appley appley is offline
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Update:
So I've been to 2/3 of the houses of round 2, and I have to go to the last one in about an hour, but I can't continue rushing. A family emergency came up, I'm actually about to be on my way home right now, so I'm going to have to depledge. ):

But I'll still give you guys an update regarding the houses I went to.

First I went back to Wendy's sorority and I met another sister from there. I'll call her "Yolanda." I got better vibes from her than I did from Wendy, but it still felt interview-y with her as well. We did an arts-and-crafts activity (at every house) since it was the philanthropy round. My craft wasn't very successful haha, but the conversation with Yolanda was kinda weird. When I looked at the craft to see what I was doing, she'd start talking and since she was talking I'd look at her and make eye contact, but then she'd stop talking and just stare at me or look away. Then when I'd look back to do my craft, she'd start talking again. So I guess it's safe to say that this house isn't the right fit for me.

The next house I went to was a house I was bored by in round 1, but because of my own condition (coffee-zombie) and not due to the sisters. So I didn't mind going back to this one, I didn't mind going back to any of the houses since I'm trying to keep an open mind until pref/bid day? idk. Anyways, on round 1 I got paired with Allison and Rachel, and in this round I got paired with "Melinda" and then switched to "Frankie." Melinda was super nice, we had a good conversation while doing the craft. I also really liked this house's philanthropy. I talked to Melinda about it and continued talking about it to Frankie. I had a nice conversation with her too. But I remember looking around as Frankie was leading me out and just feeling like I couldn't see myself there. I know it's super early to feel those feelings, we haven't even gotten to round 3, which is when you really get a vibe for your sense of belonging in the house but that's how I felt. idk. It was still a nice experience though.

So those are all my experiences of today. The last house I was supposed to see was the one with the girl who talked a lot about feet, I think I called her "Hannah" in this story. Anyways, although I didn't get called back by any of my top choices, I still got super excited after the second house (even though I couldn't see myself there) because I think it was a good practice of how a positive mindset during an upsetting experience can actually brighten your mood and make you feel better. (:

Although I have to depledge and my end my rush story super early, I had a good experience and plan to rush again next year as a sophomore and actually go through the complete process.
Sorry to have such a short, lame story. ): But family comes first.

Thanks for reading guys and giving me tips. I'll definitely try to remember to share my rush story next year! I hope you guys have more advice and encouragement for me.
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  #12  
Old 09-15-2019, 06:21 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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"Depledging" means that a new member of a sorority formally leaves the sorority.
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Old 09-15-2019, 06:22 PM
KellyO97 KellyO97 is offline
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You are right, family comes first. If you want to hang in there, talk to your Rho Chi or call the Greek Life office and explain your situation.waiting a full year means you miss out on some good stuff! Best of luck with your family issues!
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  #14  
Old 09-15-2019, 06:26 PM
appley appley is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation View Post
"Depledging" means that a new member of a sorority formally leaves the sorority.
Oh sorry, I thought that was the correct term. I guess I'm just "quitting" then.

I also just want to reiterate that this rush experience was a good one for me. I don't want it to sound like it ended in tragedy and I'm now wallowing in my tears on the drive back home. I read a recruitment story from URI earlier and that one ended so sadly, and it seems like another one from URI did too.

I think I made the mistake of assuming that just because I really liked a house automatically upped my chances of being called back and being a sister. Which is a totally unfair mindset, as if I forgot about the ~200 other PNMs. I think that mindset leads to a lot of sad and depressing rush stories. So hopefully mine is read in a different, more optimistic tone.
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Old 09-15-2019, 07:16 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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I’m sorry that rush didn’t work out the way you had hoped.
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