More Men are Marrying Wealthier Women

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Precisely, Angel.

And today women with law degrees can still be found getting coffee and doing office assistant things for the men in law offices.

Awwwww, women are such nurturers. It's part of our DNA.

That goes both ways.

I'm the only one allowed to make the coffee 'round here. Everyone else does it wrong.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

hell. no.

But seriously, reading the article and reading you ladies' responses, I am inclined to agree. Women fought long and hard to 'be equal' to men so now that a lot are achieving this, then the next thing one would have to do is get used to the idea of possibly marrying someone that may not be on the same footing with them financially, the question for men still is can we swallow our pride and deal with a woman who does make more than we do?

I would say that IMO at the end of the day, if the bills are paid and we are struggling, what difference does it make?

We aren't living in the same world where at one time the man was the breadwinner (hunter gatherer) and the women stayed at home. it's enough trying to get along on your own let alone someone else so we all have to adjust to the roles that we take up in our relationships and focus on what else makes it work besides finance.

At the same time let's not equate making more money with taking care of someone else. Regardless of who makes more, BOTH still need to be bringing in a steady income.

Yep. And I'm not talking fast food either. I hardly call throwing a few cold cuts on a sandwich for $5 bucks an hour (or whatever minimum wage is) "a steady income".

eta: as long as there's some kind of ambition. Seriously. Finances are one of the main causes of divorce. I'm just being realistic.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Kevin

That goes both ways.

I'm the only one allowed to make the coffee 'round here. Everyone else does it wrong.

Yet, what happens more often than not is more important than the exceptions.

[starang21]

i wonder if this and the divorce rate are in any way related?

LOL.

either way. go smart chicks.

[starang21]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

So the fry guy at McDonalds doesn't have a chance, huh?

neither would the fry girl.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by starang21

neither would the fry girl.

lol lol

[Lasonja]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Beagy Zielinski is a German-born 28-year-old stylist who moved to New York to study fashion in 1995 and stayed. Just before Christmas, she broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend, who repaired Navy ships.

“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.

An analysis of census data to be released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found that she and countless women like her are victims of a role reversal that is profoundly affecting the pool of potential marriage partners.

This is the problem I'm having with my man, now. I think it's hard for a lot of men to swallow their pride, but this is what it is now. Eventually, based on the way things are going now, the number of educated higher paid women are going increase. It already is that way with black couples.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

I would say that IMO at the end of the day, if the bills are paid and we are struggling, what difference does it make?

I could care less what a guy does for a living. If he's the fry guy at McDonald's but treats me well, does electrical/mechanical/carpentry things around the house I don't have a CLUE how to do, and is a good and involved father, well yes I do want fries with that. I'd rather have that than the guy who works 80 hours a week.

Working in what some would call a "dead end job" is not an indicator of lack of ambition or responsibility, if they show responsibility in other areas.

[DrPhil]

Yeah, what people like cheerfulgreek (I kid, I kid ) don't grasp is you can not want a significant other outside of a particular education and/or income bracket without making hugely insulting judgments on those who do HONEST jobs.

But, it is still the case that there is a such thing as low wage labor and dead end jobs despite hard work and some level of ambition. We have to be realistic about that and know what to expect and what not to expect based on that reality.

ETA: Also, the options for many of us aren't "fry guy who treats you right and knows how to do shit" OR "80 hrs a week guy who's a total neglectful asshole who's good for nothing but work." LOL. That's so dichotomous.

[33girl]

Oh, I know that's two extremes. For that matter, there can be 20 hour a week fry guys obsessed with their work and good for nothing. Was just trying to point out that success means all kinds of different things, not just putting on a suit and making $100k.

[DaemonSeid]

I honestly don't think it has anything to do with making judgments on those with honest jobs.

Hey, people have sung for years there is no romance without the finance.

You have to have J O B if you wanna be with me

or

What have you done for me lately.

I do believe that people have limits on what they are willing to accept when it comes someone's income.

Even if someone does settle with someone who is the 'fry guy' or 'fry girl' how long will they stay with them if that person does not realize their ambition?

I will say up front, an honest job is cool. Making an income is cool but if it start running into me having to take care of you then there may be some issues.

ETA: When talking about incomes, there is a line between making incomes that allow you some financial freedom and decision making vs being dependent on someone to pay expenses

[DrPhil]

@ 33girl

Agreed.

[DrPhil]

Oh and I was teasing when I said "people like cheerfulgreek...."

But, in all honestly, I see what cheerfulgreek is saying (assuming she wasn't trying to condescend those who work in these jobs) because low wage labor where there is no promise of longevity is not a steady income. It is an honest income that works for as long as you are blessed to have the income.

Other than that, God bless those who have honest jobs even if they have to work 2-3 jobs to get those unsteady incomes. I consider that a last resort but it is a first resort for many. God bless us all.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Yep. And I'm not talking fast food either. I hardly call throwing a few cold cuts on a sandwich for $5 bucks an hour (or whatever minimum wage is) "a steady income".

eta: as long as there's some kind of ambition. Seriously. Finances are one of the main causes of divorce. I'm just being realistic.

[starang21]

someone else can date the sandwich artist.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Oh and I was teasing when I said "people like cheerfulgreek...."

But, in all honestly, I see what cheerfulgreek is saying (assuming she wasn't trying to condescend those who work in these jobs) because low wage labor where there is no promise of longevity is not a steady income. It is an honest income that works for as long as you are blessed to have the income.

Other than that, God bless those who have honest jobs even if they have to work 2-3 jobs to get those unsteady incomes. I consider that a last resort but it is a first resort for many. God bless us all.

THIS.

And I don't want anyone to think I'm a gold digger or anything like that, because I'm not. I wasn't trying to be condescending at all, it's just that a guy without some kind of ambition to me is lazy. I hate lazy people. Seriously. I mean, at least make enough money to be able to support yourself. Working at McDonalds, Scrubway, Taco Hell, etc. etc. alone is not going to pay the bills and it definitely will not provide for a family. When I get married and he gets laid off or something and has to work two or three jobs, then I'm o.k. with that, but I would hope that he's tryng to do something to get back on his feet. I'm just trying to be realistic, that's all I'm doing. A lot of people say they would be o.k. with people doing this or someone doing that in a marriage, but really, when the responsibility sets in, then what? I'm sorry, but if I met a guy and he said he worked at McDonalds, I'm going to ask "doing what?" and if he's my age or in his 30s and he's a "french fry engineer" or whatever the title is now, or he's not in school, or trying to work his way up the ladder at McDonald's then I'm going to wonder why is this guy who's in my age group, not in school, or not doing anything else to try and better himself? If he's a nice guy then he can be nice for some other girl. I guess I'll miss out on a sweet, genuine guy. I seriously would rather be single. However, I don't mind if he's making less than me, I really don't, as long as I feel financially secure with him. When I'm all done with school and everything else that I plan on doing, he probably will be making less than me, and that's o.k. but I'm not going to take care of kids and an adult guy who works fast food jobs. Sorry.