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  #91  
Old 02-02-2018, 02:43 PM
Kevin Kevin is offline
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Originally Posted by NYCMS View Post
What surprises me is that this age generation thinks it's funny. I understand older generations thinking that since race relations were different 30-40 -50 years ago.

What also boggles my mind is that they're dumb post this stuff online - even pictures of them stupid drunk. Even those pics can harm job opportunities.
I think young people often enjoy "shock" humor. I think that comes with their freedom and them testing the boundaries of their freedom. I'm honestly shocked that we've not yet had a national incident come out of members recording themselves playing Cards Against Humanity [think Apples to Apples, but highly crass], because when aren't some of those cards the sorts of things which convince people to picket a house?
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  #92  
Old 02-02-2018, 05:59 PM
*winter* *winter* is offline
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Sorry- it sorry- but the girl is trash, period. If we need social media training to tell people not to call other people the N word on social media, the world and/or our organizations are moving in the wrong direction. And it's not "this generation." I'm so tired of hearing that. If anything, this generation is the most diverse in history. But wht so I know? I grew up in a diverse neighborhood, so if I went around spouting off the N word, I would have had my teeth knocked out, if my mother didn't get to me first. Who the hell raises these people? And if her life is ruined...too bad. Black people work for HR, too, bitch.
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  #93  
Old 02-04-2018, 11:31 AM
TLLK TLLK is offline
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do not see this as a reflection on Alpha Phi, which is a stellar organization. It could easily have been your sorority, OldFlDDD, or mine, or honeychile's, or carnation's, or ... you get my drift. As I posted earlier, we all take turns in the hot seat. I actually see it as a reflection on all of Greek Life. We are lumped together, and we all suffer when something like this occurs.
Yes I agree that this could have been any NPC group. I feel very badly for Alpha Phi which has had to deal with back-to-back incidents.

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Personally, the shortened new member period is not at all to my liking. What NYCMS wrote expresses many of my thoughts. Direct observation reveals that the new members have little to no understanding of the tenets of membership. Ritual seems to be an odious obligation which is poorly implemented instead of being at the core of the sorority's functioning and purpose. Finally, my respect to Chi Omega for sticking to their guns and not initiating until after their new members have made grades.
I also agree regarding the shortened member period. Making grades should be a top priority for any new member. At least with a semester long program, there was the opportunity to become better acquainted with a larger percentage of the actives as well as your own pledge class. Having listened to my chapter sisters accounts regarding their own daughters' new member period, IMO there is too much emphasis upon the gift giving and less on learning about the history and goals of our fraternity.
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  #94  
Old 02-04-2018, 04:26 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Having listened to my chapter sisters accounts regarding their own daughters' new member period, IMO there is too much emphasis upon the gift giving and less on learning about the history and goals of our fraternity.
There's also another trend I've heard of - not sure it's everywhere, but it is at some Greek-intensive SEC schools: Rush Gifts. Literally multiple times during the week. And not just little gifts, but really nice things. And for bid day? It's the norm to buy a Bid Day Basket. My knowledge is that they start at $100 and go upwards rather quickly. A friend's daughter went through rush last fall at Ole Miss and she spent a small fortune on these gifts. My friend - not from the South - was stunned to learn about them and said she felt like she "had to" buy the gifts since everyone was getting them.

Call me old fashioned, but this type of stuff just seems to coddle girls, as if they can't deal with the stress and frustration that is part of rush; even my friend said her daughter said "the gifts are a pick-me-up to get through the week". And it plays into the constant gift-giving the girls get once they've pledged, it's as if they need constant reassurance.

EDITED TO CLARIFY that the gifts are from the PARENTS, not from actives. Pick-me-up gifts to "keep going", it seems.

Last edited by NYCMS; 02-05-2018 at 09:42 AM.
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  #95  
Old 02-05-2018, 01:42 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Originally Posted by NYCMS View Post
There's also another trend I've heard of - not sure it's everywhere, but it is at some Greek-intensive SEC schools: Rush Gifts. Literally multiple times during the week. And not just little gifts, but really nice things. And for bid day? It's the norm to buy a Bid Day Basket. My knowledge is that they start at $100 and go upwards rather quickly. A friend's daughter went through rush last fall at Ole Miss and she spent a small fortune on these gifts. My friend - not from the South - was stunned to learn about them and said she felt like she "had to" buy the gifts since everyone was getting them.

Call me old fashioned, but this type of stuff just seems to coddle girls, as if they can't deal with the stress and frustration that is part of rush; even my friend said her daughter said "the gifts are a pick-me-up to get through the week". And it plays into the constant gift-giving the girls get once they've pledged, it's as if they need constant reassurance.
Ok, wait.. Rush Gifts? Are you saying potential members are receiving expensive gifts from initiated sisters during recruitment? If so, holy rush infraction, Batman!
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  #96  
Old 02-05-2018, 05:56 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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No, from their own mothers. "Support" gifts to give them encouragement thru the arduous rush process.
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  #97  
Old 02-05-2018, 08:08 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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No, from their own mothers. "Support" gifts to give them encouragement thru the arduous rush process.
Ok, gotcha. :: Phew :: I clearly was up way too late last night

I guess I don't really understand that pressure. Not every PNM is receiving such gifts, and if your own daughter is disappointed that she's not receiving gifts from you (the general you) every day of recruitment, perhaps she might need the reality of recruitment - and life - to knock her down here and there.

That might sound harsh, but I don't think that lavish gifts are necessary for talking to people for 10 hours in one day for five days straight.

Welcome to a regular work week!
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  #98  
Old 02-05-2018, 09:39 AM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 View Post
Ok, wait.. Rush Gifts? Are you saying potential members are receiving expensive gifts from initiated sisters during recruitment? If so, holy rush infraction, Batman!
No...rush gifts from their parents. Sorry if that wasn't clear, but I thought it was since I explained what the PNM's mom told me (and other moms I know whose daughters have rushed at Ole Miss) about the stress of spending so much money on unnecessary gifts, including a pricy Bid Day Basket. I've since added an edit to clarify this.
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  #99  
Old 02-05-2018, 09:57 AM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 View Post
I guess I don't really understand that pressure. Not every PNM is receiving such gifts, and if your own daughter is disappointed that she's not receiving gifts from you (the general you) every day of recruitment, perhaps she might need the reality of recruitment - and life - to knock her down here and there.

That might sound harsh, but I don't think that lavish gifts are necessary for talking to people for 10 hours in one day for five days straight.
Agree. I find this "gift-giving" to be coddling and part of why a lot of kids -- NOT ALL, to be clear - have "adjustment disorder" once they get to college and also post-college - it's a real thing in the therapy/student counseling world and counselors are seeing more kids from good families, top grades, etc. with this issue.

And sorry if I offend any moms here who've done this, but I think the whole "parents being there on Bid Day" and running to the house (after daughter texts parents what they've pledged) and posing for pictures (including making the sorority's 'letters with their hands, posing with daughter and members) to be over the top. It happens at Ole Miss and at Alabama (a former colleague from LA flew in for Bid Day there two years ago). Probably at other Greek-intensive schools.

I'm glad this wasn't around when I pledged and I could enjoy the day with just my new sisters. No gifts either - just a tee-shirt with sorority letters and a sweet card from my temporary Big Sister.

Last edited by NYCMS; 02-05-2018 at 12:44 PM.
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  #100  
Old 02-05-2018, 11:05 AM
TLLK TLLK is offline
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I'm glad this wasn't around when I pledged and I could enjoy the day with just my new sisters. No gifts either - just a tee-shirt with sorority letters and a sweet card from my temporary Big Sister.
I agree. Even though I'd joined my legacy group and chapter, my mother was not present at my bid day nor did we receive any gifts from our chapter beyond our traditional DG flower leis and our pledge ribbons. Bid day at our school was a relatively low key affair with just a simple luncheon with your new sisters and some photos.
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