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  #46  
Old 09-24-2018, 07:21 PM
zinnia zinnia is offline
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I agree... critics have stifled so many recruitment stories because they think the stories are not politically correct or they strike a sore spot in the critic (ie you think you're too good for sorority X). In a recent recruitment story, the poster said that she was glad that she was invited back to a sorority even though she had heard that they only took a certain group. She was extremely careful NOT to say which group. Was the group tall blondes? or a religious affiliation? or ????
And no one piled criticism on her.

Maybe I should post a fictional story where the PNM is perfect and joins a fictional sorority. She will have no opinions, no biases, no preferences, will have been raised in an all-inclusive public school, have an 8.0 GPA, Miss America candidate, honor scholar, top athlete and she will reject any sorority that does not have equal representation by every ethnic and religious group.

Please let the poster tell the story of her niece. She's telling it like it was for her young niece, NOT like it should have been. I appreciate her honesty.
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  #47  
Old 09-24-2018, 08:10 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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You’ve got it all wrong. It has nothing to do with being “politically correct.”

People used to post their rush stories with real school names and real sorority names. They were a lot more fun to read. But guess what? Some of the girls posting stories in real time found that their rush was effected. Some girls, after they received a bid, were told by their new sororities to delete their posts as this or that might reflect badly on the chapter.

And I wouldn’t call it politically correct but...more like panhellenically considerate. We ALL have chapters that are not doing well. If a PNM (or anyone) googles “Alpha Sigma Alpha University of Oregon” and finds a story portraying that chapter in a negative light, even if it is ONLY that poster’s opinion, it’s not going to help the chapter at all, especially during rush.

This is people’s real lives. It’s not just for your entertainment.
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  #48  
Old 09-24-2018, 08:11 PM
ChioLu ChioLu is offline
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Originally Posted by zinnia View Post
I agree... critics have stifled so many recruitment stories because they think the stories are not politically correct or they strike a sore spot in the critic (ie you think you're too good for sorority X).
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  #49  
Old 09-24-2018, 08:33 PM
jolene jolene is offline
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  #50  
Old 09-24-2018, 08:34 PM
ZTA72 ZTA72 is offline
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Oh My Goodness...I just want to see the end of this story...
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  #51  
Old 09-25-2018, 06:54 PM
Sororitysock Sororitysock is offline
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Originally Posted by GreenBookGirl View Post
This isn’t a bad attitude, this is racism. I hope this story is fake, because the UW Greek Community is better off without women with these attitudes.
I think this is a good thing for people to see. It's a very real problem at many schools on the west coast. Even at Cal Berkeley, that bastion of liberalism and political correctness, sororities become "undesirable" when they become "too Asian." The truth hurts, but we need to own it.
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  #52  
Old 09-25-2018, 07:22 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Originally Posted by Sororitysock View Post
I think this is a good thing for people to see. It's a very real problem at many schools on the west coast. Even at Cal Berkeley, that bastion of liberalism and political correctness, sororities become "undesirable" when they become "too Asian." The truth hurts, but we need to own it.
This.
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  #53  
Old 09-25-2018, 07:42 PM
TriDDDeltgirl TriDDDeltgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by Sororitysock View Post
I think this is a good thing for people to see. It's a very real problem at many schools on the west coast. Even at Cal Berkeley, that bastion of liberalism and political correctness, sororities become "undesirable" when they become "too Asian." The truth hurts, but we need to own it.
It’s huge, I helped out at a west coast chapter of my sorority and I had a friend of mine who had a daughter rushing call me and ask if there was racial diversity I responded that yes, the chapter composed of a lot of different diverse girls and she responded “it’s west coast, I want to know if the chapter is all Asian.”

I helped out at a SMU and I went to visit a friend of mine who is in a different sorority and her daughter, I didn’t see one woman of color at that house.

Niece’s high a chool had an EXTREME problem with racism and most of the girls there had awful attitudes when it came to rushing sororities that weren’t what they’d been in the 70s and 80s when their mothers were members and in the 50s and 60s when their grandmothers were members.

I just was looking at a canadian university’s chapter of a sorority and I did not see one woman of color at all. At some schools, there’s still the token woman of color in a chapter, I’ve written Rec letters for women who are extremely qualified but have still been dropped and I don’t think that it’s because of skin tone, but when I see an all white chapter with maybe 3 Asian women and that’s all the diversity they have, I have to wonder.

So yes, even though I hate to be that person who causes controversy, diversity is still an issue in sororities. I’m sure that all of us saw the Alabama sorority scandal headlines, we’ve seen the recruitment videos, it’s an issue and until we have a solution to that issue, we have a problem.

(I hate to be political. I’m sorry, this is my personal opinion, not the opinion of my sorority)
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  #54  
Old 09-25-2018, 07:46 PM
TriDDDeltgirl TriDDDeltgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by carnation View Post


I was raised in Deep Texas. The high schools were majorly multiracial.
She attended a private school where the racism was extreme, I won’t go into detail but some of the things that were said and the words that were used to describe other people were disgusting.
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  #55  
Old 09-25-2018, 07:52 PM
TriDDDeltgirl TriDDDeltgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by PearlGirl13 View Post
Perhaps Saint DD3 can step down from her pedestal and share some kind, warm-hearted guidance with her insensitive cousin. She could count it toward her self-imposed "50 hours of community service per semester" goal.
I think you commented before about how DD4 is not as loved or as special as DD3. Let me say this now and let me say this clearly. My children aren’t people to be pitted against one another or compared, DD3 has gone through a lot of bad things in her life and she takes a philosophical approach to things, DD4 has always gone in with guns blazing. They’re both the same in my heart, they’re both loved just as much. Niece and DD3 do not speak due to some comments niece has made in the past about “saint” DD3. DD3’s 50 hours of community service are what she feels like she has to do to give back to her community, she was extremely ill when she was younger, she had women from a local sorority chapter volunteer at the hospital she was in and DD3 saw the difference it made. If you have a problem with her volunteering, feel free to take it up with me if not, please refrain from backhanded comments, it’s unkind.

Also, I’m sure that she reads these threads and I don’t want her or her sister exposed to people comparing them or assuming how much they’re loved by me or who is the favorite. Neither of my daughters need to be subjected to subtle microaggressions from fellow Panhellenic women.

Last edited by TriDDDeltgirl; 09-25-2018 at 07:58 PM.
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  #56  
Old 09-25-2018, 08:50 PM
GreekOne GreekOne is offline
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^^^^ Yes! As another multiples Mom, I am with you. You have been beyond generous with your insight and recap throughout all of these stories. Thank you for sharing. Please don't let anyone dissuade you from finishing your journey. There are many of us that appreciate your candor without casting judgement on a young women's perception of chapters (no matter how different they may be from what we "older" women might see.)
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  #57  
Old 09-26-2018, 12:30 AM
panhelrose panhelrose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TriDDDeltgirl View Post
It’s huge, I helped out at a west coast chapter of my sorority and I had a friend of mine who had a daughter rushing call me and ask if there was racial diversity I responded that yes, the chapter composed of a lot of different diverse girls and she responded “it’s west coast, I want to know if the chapter is all Asian.”
I know we're all saying these things because we're hoping that PNMs are not judging our sisters, panhellenic or otherwise, by their race, but we also have to admit that there are PNMs and actives who hold prejudiced and ignorant beliefs about race, even among our own organizations. Hopefully TriDDDeltgirl's niece learns the error in her notions either through recruitment or through her college experiences, and those PNMs and actives who come across this story and see themselves in TriDDDeltgirl's niece realize the error as well.

Either way, we asked TriDDDeltgirl to post her niece's story. She never promised niece would be a sweet, polite PNM. Out of fairness to her and not comparing her children/niece, the stories for DD3 and DD4 show that you can raise two children at the same time in the same manner and still end up with vastly different individuals, so there's no sense in bringing her parenting into this. All children (hopefully) learn their lessons when they're ready to and no amount of parenting will force a child to learn if they're not ready and willing to have the lesson - I say this as someone still learning new things every day myself. Clearly TriDDDeltgirl isn't teaching prejudice in her home. Let's all just enjoy the story!
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  #58  
Old 09-26-2018, 08:32 AM
TriDDDeltgirl TriDDDeltgirl is offline
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Round Two


The houses:
Seattle
Ferry
Puget Sound
Music Scene
Black Eyeliner
Art Studios
Coffee
Cherry Blossoms
Native American Art

Niece was furious. She’d taken hard cuts and didn’t know why. She had some of the houses back that she thought she liked but she wouldn’t tell us why she had gotten dropped by so many houses. She told DD4 though and DD4 told us. Niece had gone into Nirvana and told the ladies there that she didn’t like their sorority and that she didn’t plan on joining, when they attempted to talk with her, she continued to say rude things. She also did this at Birkenstocks.

I wasn’t too mad, her actions didn’t reflect on anyone but herself, she’d been dropped from Birkenstocks and Nirvana, true colors had been shown and they hadn’t been appreciated. Grandma was furious. I’d never seen her so angry before, she paced back and forth, ranting in a heavy Texan accent, after around an hour of this I finally had to say “Listen, honey, I can’t understand you.” and move the subject on.

Seattle:
She thought that the girls were evasive when she asked questions, she also thought that the girls were attractive and, apparently, they didn’t seem very interested in further explaining their philanthropy.

Ferry:
According to PNM gossip, Ferry hazes, Grandma and I tried to tell Niece that there’s a 0% chance that Ferry actually hazes but she wouldn’t listen to us at all. She still liked them though but didn’t like their philanthropy.

Puget Sound:
Apparently this house is unpopular at Bama but they’re very popular at Washington so Niece was split on whether she liked them or not, she liked their physical beauty but was t too interested in the fact that they’re considered a “new row” house at Alabama.

Music Scene:
She was a big fan of Music Scene this time around. She connected with the girls first and then their philanthropy. She also liked that their house had some sort of a farmhouse chic vibe and there was some nice stained glass that she really enjoyed seeing.

Black Eyeliner:
She gave them some thought. Did she like them? No. Did she see herself fitting in? No. Did she give them a fair chance and look at the sisters and withhold her judgement until she’d left the house? Kind of. And honestly, that’s what counts.

Art Studios:
She liked them because they’re very popular at Bama and they’re more of a low key house at Washington. She thought that they had a lot of appeal to a certain group of girls and the girls who rushed her seemed very laidback as opposed to some of the other sororities she’d seen on the row.

Coffee:
Her negative opinion of coffee had barely changed, she didn’t like their letters but she did think that the girls were kind and made sure that all of her questions were answered. She did reflect on them at a later point in the day and admit that the girls were really very nice. They’re a highly ranked house at Bama as per the other Greek site and apparently they’re very Christian, Niece did see the aspect of religion at the UW chapter and she did enjoy it immensely.

Cherry Blossoms:
She loved them, thought they were slightly morbid but she still loved them. She mentioned that she liked them at Bama as well and that the chapter at UW was really nice but she’d have to see how she felt about them at the end of the day.

Native American Art:
The letters still didn’t fall into a perfectly straight line and the girls still seemed lower tier but you know what? She liked them and she made it work for herself, she wouldn’t admit to having a good time but she said she had a decent time and that everyone was nice.

My Sister-in-Law is a very holistic woman, she doesn’t believe in vaccinations and many forms of modern day medicine. Niece wasn’t vaccinated as a result. Niece called me early in the morning crying really hard and trying to tell me that her feet and legs were cramping, she couldn’t move anything below her waist, and that she was in extreme pain and felt very feverish, I didn’t stop to think, I just sat straight up in bed and blurted into the phone “Oh my dear God, you have polio!” and started to figure out what to do. Grandma took the phone at this point and established that all Niece needed was some of that “Shaquille O’Neill gel” and we went on an expedition to find this mystical gel, The stores open didn’t carry any of the Icy Hot gel and so we ended up heating Vick’s vaporub and rubbing it into her legs and feet, the pain was due to wearing a 4-in heel every day for 9 days in preparation for rush, not polio. Grandma gave me a lecture about inciting panic and polio.

Round 3

The houses:
Ferry
Puget Sound
Coffee
Art Studios
Music Scene


Ferry:
She liked them again as always, she didn’t really feel for their philanthropy and she didn’t like their house but she clicked with the girls and had a nice time again. She mention many times how the physical house didn’t have that pizazz to it, it wasn’t fancy enough.

Puget Sound:
She liked the girls, hated the house because some of the siding on it was “tacky” and the doors weren’t cute and didn’t have that classic sorority home sparkle. She didn’t really like anything about the sorority except for the fact that the girls were pretty and nice.

Coffee:
She liked more things about coffee this time around, she thought that she really clicked with them and when she got home to her dorm and looked up Coffee online, to her surprise the letters DID line up, their colors were super cute, the girls were pretty at this chapter and nationwide, they support a cool philanthropy, and wow! Look at how cute their crest and badge are!

Art Studios:
She liked them but thought that their house was trying to hard to be a “rustic brick home” with “heavy wooden doors, wrought iron, and a serious atmosphere with stained glass and other elements”, the girls, however, were nice and she liked the chapter here and at Bama.

Music Scene:
She thought that they were just keeping her around because she was a legacy and through every conversation that she had, that feeling persisted. She decided that even though she wasn’t comfortable, she’d take the house for the name.

At this point, I received a call from DD4, I hadn’t heard from her in days when I’m used to hearing from her every 20 minutes, I answered the phone with glee only to hear complete quiet. “Mommy, I need to tell you something.” DD4 said “I’m pregnant, I’m having a baby.”, I think at this point, I collapsed into my chair and my soul just left me and began its ascent, I just sat there for a moment. “A baby, baby? Like you were when I had you? A baby?” I asked, I didn’t know what to do, battle my baby fever or just open my mouth and screech. “Yes, a baby baby. I’ve also decided to marry the father, he’s a fifth year senior in Theta Chi.” She responded. “Child, if you marry that man then you’ve got another thing coming, I swear on the good Lord’s name that I will fly on down to Alabama like a bat out of heck and I’ll show him just who he’s dealing with.” I responded just as quickly, “Mommy,” DD4 replied “I’m not actually pregnant and this was just something that I had to do for psychology class! Thanks for helping me! It was an opening lines of communication with parents project!” and hung up, leaving me to recuperate and finish going through my stages of grief.

Another tiny note: for those that would accuse racism on my niece’s part, her father is white, her mother is not. Unless you magically know exactly which race her mother is, refrain from making accusations thank you so much!

Last edited by TriDDDeltgirl; 09-26-2018 at 10:44 AM.
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  #59  
Old 09-26-2018, 09:17 AM
UVASquirrel UVASquirrel is offline
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Round Two
At this point, I received a call from DD4, I hadn’t heard from her in days when I’m used to hearing from her every 20 minutes, I answered the phone with glee only to hear complete quiet. “Mommy, I need to tell you something.” DD4 said “I’m pregnant, I’m having a baby.”, I think at this point, I collapsed into my chair and my soul just left me and began its ascent, I just sat there for a moment. “A baby, baby? Like you were when I had you? A baby?” I asked, I didn’t know what to do, battle my baby fever or just open my mouth and screech. “Yes, a baby baby. I’ve also decided to marry the father, he’s a fifth year senior in Theta Chi.” She responded. “Child, if you marry that man then you’ve got another thing coming, I swear on the good Lord’s name that I will fly on down to Alabama like a bat out of heck and I’ll show him just who he’s dealing with.” I responded just as quickly, “Mommy,” DD4 replied “I’m not actually pregnant and this was just something that I had to do for psychology class! Thanks for helping me! It was an opening lines of communication with parents project!” and hung up, leaving me to recuperate and finish going through my stages of grief.
I am dying! OMG!!!
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  #60  
Old 09-26-2018, 11:43 AM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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I think I might still fly down to UA and give DD4 a swift kick in the arse for stopping your heart, class assignment or NOT!
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