Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[oceanphi01]

Originally posted by kddani
along with conflicts with a girl in a chapter- conflicts with alumnae! or alumnae that know you have a bad rep, nasty attitude, etc. from high school or elsewhere.

This doesn't always have to be the case. It really depends on the alumna sister as to how seriously you take her "concerns". This has happened in the past and we still initiated the person an alumna was concerned about and this person is one of my favorite sisters and is so devoted to Alpha Phi.

In all honesty, I wouldn't let it bother you too much. If you can't find your nitch in any of the groups on your campus, then feel free to start another one that looks for your same values. I know it sounds like a cop-out, but it's not. In the long run, those chapters that cut you may feel bad because you're stronger than they saw you to be and may regret it. Just don't give up hope.

[jharb]

There are a couple of reasons you might be cut and the main one is you just didn't mesh well with the girls you talked to during recruitment. I know there were girls I talked to during recruitment that some of my sisters loved coming into recruitment, but after talking to the girl for whatever reason I wasn't quite sure what my sisters saw in the girls. When you go in there to discuss your potential sisters you must trust what your sisters say and realize that the PNMs are nervous and might not always be at the top of their game. Maybe I'm just too accepting or nice, but I know going through recruitment I was a bundle of nerves and wasn't always my usual easy going self.

I do know that people go into recruitment with their heart set on one house and end up in another and that's sometimes where you were meant to be. That also means sometimes you just weren't right for the greek system at your university. I had a friend freshman year who transfered to Lehigh because she wasn't happy here and really wanted to go greek. She didn't feel like she fit in with any of the chapters here and when she got to Lehigh she instantly fit in with the Chi Os there!

maybe I'm just all sunshine and rainbows today

[APhi Diva]

Originally posted by Moxie
Let me pose a hypothetical situation:
James has a daughter who grows up and goes off to college! Daddy is so proud of his baby girl! She decides to rush and is cut hard and not offered a bid - she is very disappointed but decides to try again, perhaps by going to a few informal recruitment events. Maybe she is shy, maybe she is quiet - for whatever reason, she is not offered a bid during these COB events. Daddy's girl is upset and comes to him, asking what went wrong. Isn't she cute? Isn't she smart? What's wrong with her?!
I'd love to see Daddy smile and say, "Well, dear, you likely had not one single quality that either impressed or distinguished you from the herd to the groups that met you!"

Well put, Moxie!!

[carnation]

At some universities, it could be due to the choices a PNM has made during rush. Before required release numbers were instituted, big sororities would keep PNMs until the last possible minute and then cut them and a girl would be out of rush (usually after the theme parties) because she'd already cut the medium- and smaller-sized groups. No doubt that still happens where release numbers aren't followed or where they're really not used until third parties.

[AchtungBaby80]

But guys, I think James is really talking about the young ladies who come on here with stories about how they rushed and did every single thing right, they had a 4.5 high school GPA, people tell them they're so beautiful, etc. but they got cut from every house. We're not talking about the girls who went through rush and were shy and didn't have the opportunity to let their best qualities shine. I mean, I know it sounds awful, but sometimes PNMs can get obnoxious..."Well, I'm so cute, I was a cheerleader/Homecoming Queen/Beta Club member in high school and those houses had the nerve to drop me! What's WRONG with them?!?!?"

[texas*princess]

^^ AchtungBaby80 I got the same impression from James original post.

[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by texas*princess
^^ AchtungBaby80 I got the same impression from James original post.

ditto.

[docdaisy]

Sorry to have to mention this...
I'm a little upset that current sorority sisters are basing membership decisions on weight. I was overweight when I rushed and it never made a difference. In the end, I had to cut houses, not vice versa. I have gone on to become a successful plus-sized model AND a very proud Delta Zeta. I hope you are looking at the whole woman when rushing them, not just her size.

Thanks for listening...

[SigKapKatzue]

Originally posted by docdaisy
Sorry to have to mention this...
I'm a little upset that current sorority sisters are basing membership decisions on weight. I was overweight when I rushed and it never made a difference. In the end, I had to cut houses, not vice versa. I have gone on to become a successful plus-sized model AND a very proud Delta Zeta. I hope you are looking at the whole woman when rushing them, not just her size.

Thanks for listening...

Thank you, I agree with that-- I believe that so much is based on who you are not weight...

[James]

I think you may be being a little naive. People start judging you as soon as they see you. Also it will depend on the makeup of the chapter.

But the girls can answer better than I can.

[docdaisy]

Certainly people are going to notice your physical appearance... but why does overweight automatically equal negative? If a PNM is a smart, witty, polite and fun woman, wouldn't she be a fantastic addition to your sisterhood? Does it really matter if she wears a size 18 instead of a 2? I guess I should be grateful that the wonderful Greek women on my campus looked at a person's character...

I wonder what would happen if Fraternities started judging guys on their "physique." 90% of the "average Joes" would be out on their rear ends.

Something to ponder...

[Moxie]

Originally posted by docdaisy
Sorry to have to mention this...
I'm a little upset that current sorority sisters are basing membership decisions on weight. I was overweight when I rushed and it never made a difference. In the end, I had to cut houses, not vice versa. I have gone on to become a successful plus-sized model AND a very proud Delta Zeta. I hope you are looking at the whole woman when rushing them, not just her size.

Thanks for listening...

i'm PROUD to call you my sister!

[USChica06]

Originally posted by SigKapKatzue
Thank you, I agree with that-- I believe that so much is based on who you are not weight...

It's so easy to say that, but when you get a girl, like me, who was cut from 7 houses out of 9 the first day you tend to wonder. And when those two houses, houses that don't usually make quota (and didn't that year), cut you later in the rush process, you wonder more. I didn't make it to preference.

And then you think back at the look of the houses of beautiful thin girls. And it hurts more.

Now I'm not knocking the greek system at all. And I still want to be a part of it!

My freshman year (after rush), I didn't gain the freshman 15. It was the freshman 30. In one semester. Add that with the fact that I was already struggling with my weight, and I had acquired and injury that would forever put my right knee in a painful position. And I couldn't excercise normally for months.

Now, August comes around again, and I have the option to rush. Give me one reason why I shouldn't believe that 30 extra pounds wouldn't be noticed. (I did have an event that would conflict with preference, so I couldn't rush, but I could have missed it if I really wanted to.)

I'm over this and past it all, but it amazes me how people think that weight isn't a factor. If it isn't, then I should be able to walk in there at 130 and get rejected by every house again. I have the same attitude, same personality, same smile, , same me.

Don't tell me that 7 houses thought I wasn't good enough based on my personality, outgoing-ness, and whatnot. If I'm sharing this all with a bunch of strangers (and honey ) then you know I'm not a shy person. I was a legacy at a house that cut me. Figure that out.

Will I rush in the fall? Of course I'll try it out. I've lost that 30 pounds, but still have a while to go. But don't tell me this isn't a factor.

Sorry about the rant... Forgive me?!?

[Moxie]

YES, there are some chapters that will cut you automatically if you are overweight. YES, that sucks, but do you really want to be a part of that chapter? find a group that takes the time to get to know who you really are, and wants you for who you are, and that's golden i think some overweight women who rush might be so insecure about themselves during recruitment that they forget to show themselves off!

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by Moxie
YES, there are some chapters that will cut you automatically if you are overweight. YES, that sucks, but do you really want to be a part of that chapter?

But I know of otherwise great chapters with awesome women who have been known to do this. It's kinda sad.