pledges dropping at the end

zppsf1987 · #1 12-03-2008, 01:57 PM

my chapter (which i'd rather not name, but we're a GLO with chapters at many schools around the country) is having a problem. pledging is almost over (though our pledges don't know that) and at least two of them are dead-set on dropping out. these kids have worked hard, and we would rather see them come together with their pledge brothers and enjoy and be proud of their pledging experience. anyone else ever have this problem? what's a good way to show them that they should stay without ruining the mystique of pledging (ie that they are getting initiated so soon)? anyone else ever have to convince a pledge to stay?

CrackerBarrel · #2 12-03-2008, 02:00 PM

Get their big brother and your president to talk to them and tell them what a mistake that would be and all that they get out of the fraternity. And then have some sort of fun event (even just a pledge party, or a pregame for all the pledges before they go out) so that hopefully they remember they have fun with their pledge brothers.

Kansas City · #3 12-03-2008, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zppsf1987

my chapter (which i'd rather not name, but we're a GLO with chapters at many schools around the country) is having a problem. pledging is almost over (though our pledges don't know that) and at least two of them are dead-set on dropping out. these kids have worked hard, and we would rather see them come together with their pledge brothers and enjoy and be proud of their pledging experience. anyone else ever have this problem? what's a good way to show them that they should stay without ruining the mystique of pledging (ie that they are getting initiated so soon)? anyone else ever have to convince a pledge to stay?

If they are set on dropping, do you really want to keep them around to become an inactive part of your chapter? I would only convince them to stay if you are certain that they will contribute in a positive way.

rufio · #4 12-03-2008, 02:07 PM

why are your pledges intent on dropping out?

you need to convey that dropping is completely fine, but in doing so they're losing the opportunity to join a great family, the support of the brotherhood is something that can help them through college and in life. well thats what we use since we are a smaller, very tight-knit chapter and the family aspect is very evident in our brotherhood.

if they're not ready for that kind of commitment, tell em to kick rocks. they'll make shitty bros in the long run if they're not completely into it.

zppsf1987 · #5 12-03-2008, 02:19 PM

its hard for us to figuring out why they want to drop. i think its more that they want pledging on "their terms", if that makes sense, and of course that defeats the purpose. thanks so much for your ideas, and if anyone else has some feel free to leave em here, ill be checking

MysticCat · #6 12-03-2008, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zppsf1987

its hard for us to figuring out why they want to drop.

All the more reason to follow CrackerBarrel's advice and have their big brothers and the president talk to them. I echo the rest of his advice as well.

honeychile · #7 12-03-2008, 02:52 PM

I'm with the majority here - you need to ask yourself WHY you want to keep pledges who are intent on dropping. In fact, if they are that intent, why are you keeping them around this long? A problem pledge only becomes a problem brother or sister.

KappaKittyCat · #8 12-03-2008, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zppsf1987

...pledging is almost over (though our pledges don't know that)...

Maybe this is just where I'm from, but at my alma mater it was always known when initiation was. I believe that for sororities, we have to tell the pledges when initiation is - keeping it a secret is considered hazing.

Not that I'm accusing the OP's chapter or anyone who does it that way of hazing. I've just never heard of it being done that way anymore. Is this a local thing? Is an NPHC thing? Are there NICs who do it? Is it an NPC thing and I'm just ignorant?

Thanks in advance for the enlightenment...

KSUViolet06 · #9 12-03-2008, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

Is it an NPC thing and I'm just ignorant?

As far as my particular sorority, we are required to let the NMs know when initiation will be.

AOEforme · #10 12-03-2008, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

As far as my particular sorority, we are required to let the NMs know when initiation will be.

As far as mine goes, we also are required to let them know as soon as they know or at their first meeting.

I also echo the sentiment that a problem pledge becomes a problem brother or sister. Occasionally, people will defy that, but the pledge period (as it's supposed to be) is a pretty darn good predictor of the kind of membership the NM will contribute.

Besides, if they're ONLY going to go through with the process after they hear "Wait, guys! You only have like two more days left", it's a poor reflection on their dedication.

Let 'em go and focus on the the rest of your pledge class.

MysticCat · #11 12-03-2008, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

Maybe this is just where I'm from, but at my alma mater it was always known when initiation was. I believe that for sororities, we have to tell the pledges when initiation is - keeping it a secret is considered hazing.

Not that I'm accusing the OP's chapter or anyone who does it that way of hazing. I've just never heard of it being done that way anymore. Is this a local thing? Is an NPHC thing? Are there NICs who do it? Is it an NPC thing and I'm just ignorant?

In my experience, it is not uncommon among fraternities, though I couldn't say how common it is either.

It was standard in my chapter that the schedule given to probationary members gave one date for initiation, but the brothers knew that initiation was actually a week or so earlier. There would be a different event noted on the calendar with instructions as to dress code. When the PMs got there, they learned that they were about to be initiated. Many of our chapters (non-NIC) still do this, and I've known of NIC chapters that do as well.

ASTalumna06 · #12 12-03-2008, 04:08 PM

All of the guys that I know who are in fraternities, both NIC and local, did not know when their initiation was.

As for my sorority, we're also required to tell the new members when they're being initiated.

Elephant Walk · #13 12-03-2008, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KappaKittyCat

Maybe this is just where I'm from, but at my alma mater it was always known when initiation was. I believe that for sororities, we have to tell the pledges when initiation is - keeping it a secret is considered hazing.

Which is absolutely fucking ridiculous.

LaneSig · #14 12-03-2008, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

Which is absolutely ridiculous.

Maybe to your group, but not to KappaKitty's. All groups have their own rules. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to not let the pledges know when initiation will be held. We had several guides serving in the National Guard and many guys who worked. They needed to know when events were going to occur.

epchick · #15 12-03-2008, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaneSig

Maybe to your group, but not to KappaKitty's. All groups have their own rules. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to not let the pledges know when initiation will be held. We had several guides serving in the National Guard and many guys who worked. They needed to know when events were going to occur.

from what I understand after talking to friends of mine in fraternities was that the pledges did NOT know when initiation was, but they were told what days they had to meet, so that they could get work off & such. So it wasn't just blindsiding them, they knew what days pledge activities or whatnot would happen, just not what the activities were.