Pledge shouldn't have dropped NEED HELP

phi8748a · #1 10-29-2007, 06:21 PM

Hey Everyone,

I'm in a fraternity and one of our pledges who is my lil bro in the house (doesn't know it yet) and depledged but didn't want to. He got a $400 speeding ticket and now can't afford the house thats why he had to drop. This kid is an amazing person who would be great for our house and we share many things in common and even though he says he will rush in spring there are already other fraternities after him. I've already told him that i would pay for his ticket but he has too much pride t take it. I'm having lunch with him in an hour.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

macallan25 · #2 10-29-2007, 07:37 PM

Let him rush in the Spring.

REE1993 · #3 10-29-2007, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phi8748a

Hey Everyone,

I'm in a fraternity and one of our pledges who is my lil bro in the house (doesn't know it yet) and depledged but didn't want to. He got a $400 speeding ticket and now can't afford the house thats why he had to drop. This kid is an amazing person who would be great for our house and we share many things in common and even though he says he will rush in spring there are already other fraternities after him. I've already told him that i would pay for his ticket but he has too much pride t take it. I'm having lunch with him in an hour.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

I think that the kid has a good head on his shoulders to face to consequences of his ticket. On the other hand, you sound like an awesome brother to offer to pay for it (not sure if you expect it back). Maybe "give" it to him but tell him you will accept a payment plan. THat way he will understand that a helping hand is not something to take advantage of.

In the end, one's pride is pretty hard to break. Tell him you will be there for him as a friend if he decides to depledge, and don't renig on that. Lastly, there might be more going on than that ticket. Talk to him, but let him feel free to make up his mind.

Tom Earp · #4 10-30-2007, 01:56 PM

$400 speeding ticket?
I find that hard to believe but depending on which if any kangaroo court he may have been in there seems to maybe more than speed involved.

Something does not seem to fit here. Could it be an excuse? I do not know or will even try to say.

As was said, hold him over till the next semester and see if he gets everything worked out. If he is interested, then that will show the true feelings he has. If you loan money, you may or may not get it back and can you afford that?

You can only hope for the best. Good luck.

PsychTau2 · #5 10-31-2007, 11:02 PM

Tom makes a good point...is he using the ticket as his "excuse" to leave the chapter? Especially if he says he will "rerush" in the Spring (not sure if that's his words or yours). If it were me in that situation and I really wanted to be initiated, I would have said something like "I cannot afford the initiation fees this semester but I do not want to leave the organization. What are my options? Can I be initiated next semester when I can afford the fees?"

I'm going to guess that a lot (maybe not all) organizations have something in place where someone can delay/defer their initiation for a semester, depending on the circumstances (as opposed to completely withdrawing from the org and having to be reissued a bid). Check with your national constitution/bylaws/guiding documents and see if that is a possibility.

Bottom line is that all you can do is to CORRECTLY inform him of his options, and then let him decide. If he truly wants to be a member of your organization he'll figure out a way to make that happen, whether it's this semester or next spring or next fall.

(On a side note...if the time on your post is correct, you sure are having a late lunch! It shows that you posted at 6:21pm on 10/29...maybe my time zone thingy is not set right though....)

SigmaNuAlum · #6 11-01-2007, 02:07 PM

Something smells fishy here. If he's being sought by other fraternities, maybe he found one he would rather be a part of. I know when I was a new member/pledging, I would have accepted the money to pay the ticket (with an agreement to pay back, of course), and continued on with pledgeship. Isn't that what brotherhood is all about? You couldn't have kept me from it!

texas*princess · #7 11-01-2007, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SigmaNuAlum

Something smells fishy here. If he's being sought by other fraternities, maybe he found one he would rather be a part of. I know when I was a new member/pledging, I would have accepted the money to pay the ticket (with an agreement to pay back, of course), and continued on with pledgeship. Isn't that what brotherhood is all about? You couldn't have kept me from it!

That's what I was thinking. Without knowing the person or the exact words used, I would think if he REALLY wanted to be part of your org, he wouldn't sound like he is using the ticket as an excuse.

Why should he have to rerush if he's already been chosen? If he absolutely did not want to borrow your money he could have asked to be 'held over' till the following semester when he can afford the fees?

Maybe he didn't know he had that option though?

LaneSig · #8 11-01-2007, 03:36 PM

Also, most municipalities will let you pay a ticket on a payment plan.

macallan25 · #9 11-01-2007, 09:11 PM

That's what I was thinking.

.....and if the house wanted chose to pledge him then there really shouldn't be any reason why they couldn't just hold him over till the next semester without making him completely depledge.

SthrnZeta · #10 11-02-2007, 09:02 AM

Ok, so raise your hand if you want an update on the lunch date from the OP?? ::raises hand::

shadowyi · #11 11-03-2007, 05:10 PM

*seconds*

TSteven · #12 11-07-2007, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macallan25

That's what I was thinking.

.....and if the house wanted chose to pledge him then there really shouldn't be any reason why they couldn't just hold him over till the next semester without making him completely depledge.

ditto

SirHornyToad · #13 11-07-2007, 11:28 PM

If he's worth it and he really wants to be part of your house, he'll be there in the spring. Just keep in contact with him and make him feel welcome. Let him know that you guys are understanding and if it's for him you'll be there.

MysticCat · #14 11-08-2007, 08:21 AM

The OP posted 4 posts seeking advice. Three of those posts were identical and were posted at about the same time (in different forums) about an hour before he was to meet with the pledge. The fourth post was a brief "thank you" thirty minutes later. All four were posted over a week ago.

I doubt any advice at this point is anything more than academic.