Legacy Situation

FaithHopeLove · #1 07-31-2007, 12:06 PM

Hi, I am going to a large school in the midwest with a competitive greek system and about to go through recruitment. I have a few legacies (mom, aunt, etc) to different sororities at different schools, and I am not overly concerned about these legacies having a big impact on my chances. However, I also have a biological sister who is currently at the school I am going to and in sorority ABC. ABC is a very strong, successful, competitive sorority. I know they are wonderful. However, I really do not know if they are the best fit for me. There are several other strong, wonderful groups of girls at my school. Do you think other groups will drop me as quickly as they can under the assumption that I will go ABC. I know it has been discussed that many sororities welcome the challenge for other legacies, but I wasn't sure if it made a difference that my sister was already there.

Thanks!

adpiucf · #2 07-31-2007, 12:13 PM

Your sister currently being a member of ABC at the same school where you are rushing will very likely impact your inv.itations to other sororities.

NutBrnHair · #3 07-31-2007, 12:14 PM

I would advise you to show sincere interest when you visit ALL the groups that interest you. When a PNM says things like "I am thrilled to be back here!" or "All of you are so nice to me -- it really makes me feel comfortable here." You will send a message that your mind is not set on your sister's group.

There are rules about what the sorority members can say to a PNM, but you can say anything you want to them.

adrie435 · #4 07-31-2007, 12:24 PM

Depending on your sisters involvement in Greek Life and the panhellenic attitude there, one possibility is to talk to your sister about it and ask her to let some of the women in greek life know that she doesn't want you to join her chapter just because she is there..... We had this situtuation at my school with 2 sisters and when the second came on campus, the older sister made it very clear to every chapter that she didn't want them to "pick her sisters chapter for her". She said that she and her sister were two completely different people who were possibly looking for different things and to treat her like any other PNM.
The younger sister ended up joining a different chapter than her sister but had they not been so open about her choosing her own chapter I think many of them would have dropped such a strong connection.

33girl · #5 07-31-2007, 01:19 PM

Are you extremely close to your sister? Or is she someone you probably wouldn't talk to if you weren't biologically related? (OK, I know that's exaggerating, but you know what I mean)

One of our sisters had a bio sister that she was NOT close to at all who went through rush. Quite honestly, we would have been shocked if she HAD pledged us.

If your situation is something like this, and people ask about your sister, you can find a way to say that just because your sister is an ABC, it doesn't mean you are ABC material, nor do you want to be.

twinkle555 · #6 07-31-2007, 01:32 PM

It is possible to not list any legacies on your registration form. No one says you HAVE to. One of my sorority sisters was a legacy to TriDelta but she didn't list in on her registration form so she could have an equal shot at all the sororities. So if you are really that concerned about it, I would talk to your bio sister and let her know that you arent going to list your legacy.

If not, I would take the advice that NutBrnHair gave you.

AlphaFrog · #7 07-31-2007, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkle555

It is possible to not list any legacies on your registration form. No one says you HAVE to.

Her sister is ON CAMPUS. It will be known whether she lists it or not.

adpiucf · #8 07-31-2007, 02:52 PM

Agreed. Whether or not she tells anyone she is a legacy, and whether or not she and her sister are BFF and likely to join the same sorority doesn't matter.

NutBrnHair · #9 07-31-2007, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FaithHopeLove

However, I also have a biological sister who is currently at the school I am going to and in sorority ABC. ABC is a very strong, successful, competitive sorority. I know they are wonderful.

I would approach it from a positive perspective. I think it's fortunate that you have a sitting sister in a wonderful group. I understand that you want to make your own choice, but make the best of your sister's affiliation with a strong chapter.

I wish you the best -- please let us know how it turns out for you!

Sailboat Sis · #10 07-31-2007, 03:38 PM

Do you have a unique last name? If for instance your last name is something generic like 'Smith' or 'Brown,' other sororities may not realize you are so-and-so's sister in ABC. You also included that you are at a large school so that may go unnoticed.

This past year we had a few girls come through recruitment who were big time legacies (i.e. third generation from the school's chapter) and a few girls who had siblings in other houses. Several of these girls told us that they wanted to be given a fair chance and that they were not committed to joining the house(s) they were legacies at. I'd say it was 50/50 with these girls in terms of joining their legacy house.

I don't think it would hurt to be open about your concerns. Express how excited you are about seeing what each house is like and really wanting to find your perfect fit.

WVU alpha phi · #11 07-31-2007, 04:03 PM

My chapter dealt with this situation several times. I think it's best if a PNM brings it up first in early rounds like, "My sister is a member of ABC, but she isn't pressuring me to join there and wants me to find the chapter that's best for me." You're right about some sororities wanting to "steal" legacies, and you're right that some may write you off because your sister is an active member of ABC. When I came across this situation as a sister, I'd often make a note that you were a legacy of ABC but not "sold" on their chapter. Good luck!

PGD-GRAD · #12 07-31-2007, 04:06 PM

Another take on whether or not to put down legacies is the way a PNM is dealt with during rush. When you know that someone comes from a Greek family, your discussion takes a different tone. You know that they already come from a family who knows and understands the Greek system; you don't need to spend time explaining all that. Knowing they already have a point of reference on that opens up new avenues of discussion.

Also, if there is nothing down on the rush sheet, the question may come up: do you have any relatives who are in fraternities or sororities? Then do you lie, name only a few, or what? I see both sides of the issue. Some groups may cut the person, figuring he/she might just be a waste of time. But, some groups like PNMs who already have "Greek heritage" in their blood, whatever national.

You have to figure, also, at least with the chapter I advise, they like the "challenge" of rushing someone who is a leg. to another chapter on campus. That makes them work harder to try to impress the person and maybe win him away from his legacy group. Guys just often look at it as a competition which, in most regards, it is! Perhaps sororities are the same; I guess it just depends on the group.

The PNM should know not the DWELL on his or her legacy; that could be the kiss of death. Simply acknowledge it and maybe say, "Yes, my mom is a ____ from State, and that is part of the reason I am going through formal rush. She loved her Greek experience, and I'm hoping to find a home here that I will enjoy as much."

adpiucf · #13 07-31-2007, 04:10 PM

The year I was a PX, my friend Carrie went through rush when her sister Amy was already a member of our chapter. Ours is a very friendly Greek Community, and three of Amy's best friends were members of Tri-Delta and KD. They knew Carrie really well and were respected members of their sororities. And Carrie was adamant about not joining her "sister's sorority."

Despite this, and despite the friends pulling for her at their respective sororities, Carrie still got dropped by nearly every chapter after the first round. I probably heard a lot of MS details I wasn't supposed to know following Bid Day, but the girls were upset about how it all went down.

The story has a happy ending. Carrie fell in love with ADPi during recruitment week... and right before prefs she was sobbing hysterically on my shoulder because she was afraid she wouldn't receive a bid from ADPi!

And of course, she did end up becoming an ADPi and a very active sister, at that! So all's well that ends well.

My point is: Keep an open mind to your sister's sorority, along with all of the chapters at your school. You may want to do your own thing. But circumstances may bring you closer and you'll realize it would have been the right choice for you all along, regardless of your sister's involvement.

ETA: We all talk about the varying competitiveness and prestige of trying to "steal" someone else's legacy. But the rules of engagement start to change when the legacy sister is a curerent, active collegiate member at the same school during recruitment! Then it becomes very dismissive because it is implied that the PNM will go to her sister's house. I can't recall a single time when a legacy didn't pledge where her sister was a current chapter member. The only times two siblings wouldn't necessarily pledge the same chapter would be if they were twins rushing the same year, or if the legacy sister was no longer active at the chapter (alum).

jaade124 · #14 07-31-2007, 05:10 PM

This happened to my chapter this past Spring. We had a girl going through recruitment whos sister was currently an active sister in sorority XYZ...we were a little leary of her but she seemed to really like us. She kept coming back, telling Rho Chis how much she loved us, she even put us first in her rank list! Again we weren't sure about her but we extended her a bid because we really did love her and she ended up accepting it!

I think you just have to be open and say "yes my sister is a member of this but I would like to experience this for myself and find a place where I fit in and feel comfortable" and if you really like one group, really express your interest! They'll at least see you're interested and take that into account.

Tom Earp · #15 07-31-2007, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FaithHopeLove

Hi, I am going to a large school in the midwest with a competitive greek system and about to go through recruitment. I have a few legacies (mom, aunt, etc) to different sororities at different schools, and I am not overly concerned about these legacies having a big impact on my chances. However, I also have a biological sister who is currently at the school I am going to and in sorority ABC. ABC is a very strong, successful, competitive sorority. I know they are wonderful. However, I really do not know if they are the best fit for me. There are several other strong, wonderful groups of girls at my school. Do you think other groups will drop me as quickly as they can under the assumption that I will go ABC. I know it has been discussed that many sororities welcome the challenge for other legacies, but I wasn't sure if it made a difference that my sister was already there.

Thanks!

Legacys supposedly have a leg up!

But if they do not fit in with certain GLOs, they will not be, it is not automatic of course!

We had one that was and did not go!

Now, He wish he did, but to late!

Do not bank on anything!