relationships

I just had a general question for all of you greeks. I just graduated from high school and I was in a 2 year relationship but he is 1 year younger than me. As I was looking over stuff for college, I mentioned that I was interested in rushing and he said that he refused to support me in this decision. We have since broken up, but I was wondering, is this a common reaction to this? I have heard from others in sororities that being in a sorority is all about meeting guys and this girl became inactive (I don't know if this is the right term, but you know what I mean) when she got into a long term relationship. She said that you don't really want a non greek boyfriend if you are in a sorority. Is any of this at all true?

there is no reason why you couldn't have a boyfriend (whether he's independent or greek) and be an active, enthusiastic member of a sorority. yes, joining a sorority is a good way to meet lots of people, including guys, but you are not required to hook up with them and no one will expect you to if you have a boyfriend most girls in my sorority would love to have a long-term boyfriend and are just waiting to meet the right guy.

some people will say that being part of a sorority will occupy all your free time & you won't have time for a relationship, but i don't really agree with that. you can make time to do both if both are priorities in your life.

i do think that a greek boyfriend would be more understanding about your sorority obligations, since independents just don't know what it's like to make such an intense commitment to an organization. but, that doesn't mean that an independent guy can't date a sorority girl happily & successfully if both are understanding of the other's situation.

also, about sorority girls not wanting non-greek boyfriends--it's just kind of a "snob" aspect to sorority life. as a sorority chick your social circle will be mostly the greek world, and some girls will look down on guys who aren't part of a fraternity. on the other hand, your sisters will be impressed if you snag a guy from a top fraternity.

[RUgreek]

I guess every school will have a different view of this. I actually never thought that it was a problem to have a relationship with someone not part of the greek system. Just because they are not within your main social scene that doesn't mean things won't work out. But as for this guy who is opposed to her joining a sorority, he obviously is too jealous and has no trust in her. Relationships work out, especially between greek and non-greek members. As for his reaction, I would say it is common for someone to freak out about the unexpected. I personally don't think a sorority girl MUST date a fraternity guy.

RUgreek

I remember when I wanted to pledge and everybody who wasn't familiar with the fraternity/sorority life on my campus couldn't understand. it is a normal reation for people to make those snap judgements, however they do many times change their mind when in the situation

[BFulton]

In my experience, the man who has a problem with you "going Greek" is also likely to have a problem with you joining the marching band, a service organization or anything that takes time away from him. This may occur whether or not he's Greek himself.

That said, there are also those who have an issue for whatever reason with Greek life in general. If you're in a close relationship though, they should respect your judgement once you explain why you are interested.

To answer your question, yes, I have seen others (and at one point, myself) become less or inactive because they had a critical significant other.

[equeen]

Originally posted by amm:
...I was wondering, is this a common reaction to this? I have heard from others in sororities that being in a sorority is all about meeting guys and this girl became inactive (I don't know if this is the right term, but you know what I mean) when she got into a long term relationship. She said that you don't really want a non greek boyfriend if you are in a sorority.

amm,

Just like any other opportunity in life, greek life is as much to you as you make of it. I can imagine that for some, sorority life is largely a social opportunity, running the gamut from meeting guys to forming lifelong frienships/sisters to networking. Social opportunities aren't the limit of sororities, and it's up to the individual to decide what you want to make of your membership.

I would ask your friend to explain the reasoning behind why a greek woman would want only a greek man as an SO. Personally, I don't agree with that point of view, having dated both greeks and non-greeks. However, it does seem to work for some people.

Whatever your choices in life, take a critical look at why something would or wouldn't work for you. It's your life, after all.

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equeen
A Lioness has her Pride!
@>--;--
Alpha Sigma Kappa - Women in Technical Studies

[etienneSAI]

wow...what a crappy way for a boyfriend to respond to your wanting to be greek! that sucks big time, and i'm sorry it happened.

i have to agree with the others on this board by saying that snagging an independant guy and rushing CAN put a strain on things because the intense commitment really is hard for an independant to understand. a greek boyfriend can be good to have, HOWEVER with your time commitments to your sorority and HIS time commitments to his fraternity, coupled with the "i want to hang with my sisters/brothers tonight" can be a big scheduling problem for "alone" time. did you get that, cause i phrased it kind of wierd. it's a double-edged sword either way. i personally have dated both greek and non-greek men and it's been interesting either way. how 'bout you stop worrying about it NOW and wait until you get to college. :-) you'll be fine!!

etienne
sigma alpha iota-the hartt school of music