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Old 10-15-2001, 09:38 PM
justamom justamom is offline
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serious request for help

My little nephew is in 4th grade. He is from a gentle, loving family but is surrounded by some tragedy (death of an uncle who he looks exactly like when his father was cleaning his gun) He is so upset over the war and unable to sleep or eat in his NORMAL fashion. They talk about it at school and of course everywhere he goes. He is afraid he will have to fight and die. They live in a rural town and access to psychologists is difficult to say the least. So far, the school hasn't done any intervention. His parents aren't sure if his anxiety needs professional attention or if there are some measures they could take to help him deal with this. If anyone has some helpful ideas that his folks can implement it would be greatly appreciated. TIA
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Old 10-15-2001, 09:53 PM
three2tango three2tango is offline
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Many people are afraid to seek professional help because it seems to make people feel as if they are crazy or abnormal. I unnderstand this feeling. You have to look at it this way, if you fell off of something and hit your head you would go to the doctor and have things checked out even if there were no cuts so why not go to the doctor and have things checked out with this child? This child needs to talk to a psychologist. They are better, (in my opinion than psychiatrists) because they have more training with behavior. The doctor, make sure they have a doctorate will be able to help the child more by talking about their feelings.
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Old 10-15-2001, 10:11 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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JAM, I've read some very good advice on about what to do if your child is extremely scared. Some of the best experts have written lately. I'm going to check but I'll bet that John Rosemond has something good on his website, and it seems like Time had something too.

That kind of accidental death does something to uncle was killed as a child when he and his friend were cleaning a rifle and my mother, his closest sibling in age, really never got over it.
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Old 10-15-2001, 11:04 PM
The1calledTKE The1calledTKE is offline
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I don't like shrinks. I had a bad experience when my dad died. A shrink that worked with my dad at the hospital came by to see how we were doing. Its had been two days after he died and I had not cried yet. So she intentionally makes me feel guilty so I would cry. I think thats a horrible way to make someone cry. I felt guilty for a long time afterwards.
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Old 10-16-2001, 07:02 AM
justamom justamom is offline
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Thanks all. The site is a good place to start. I think they have easier access to a psychologist or some counseling through the church. The town has all but dried up.
zntke- A friend of mine had a similar incident with a psychiatrist, it concerned the death of his father as well.
He told me the whole story and from what I understood, it messed him up more than it helped. ( Like any profession, there are some quacks.) I heard the story almost 7 years after it happened. It was still very raw to him.
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Old 10-16-2001, 05:40 PM
Tom Earp Tom Earp is offline
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Location: Kansas City, Kansas USA
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I have always wondered, if these so called phy. and phys. are giving advice as if I talked to us whom had problems would it rub off and they become crazier than they think we are!

I know I am not Crazy as I am Inzane, Freud or Floyd which wver

Now back to the local sponsers

LX Z # 1
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Old 10-17-2001, 06:49 AM
justamom justamom is offline
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Well....My sister has been involved in a long term-on and off relationship with a psychologist. This particular man is the epitomy of "Physician, heal thyself." The worst part is, he plays mind games with her. I don't know if I'd want to be "involved" with anyone who anal-yzed everything I did.
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Old 10-18-2001, 01:36 AM
lifesaver lifesaver is offline
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I absolutely advocate any use of psychotherapy. I just look at it as being the only guest on a one-hour talk show. I just suggest you begin to work with him soon, before they begin to see any serious long term effects, such as being developmentally delayed, or him acting out. NIP IT IN THE BUD. If you dont fix issues when their kids, he'll be dealing with it when hes 40, wearing a sun-dress, beating his biker wife, living in a skeezy trailer park somewhere, and ending up on Jerry Springer. This kids been through a lot. he couldnt possibly hope to cope with it all on his own. Isnt their anyway they coud get him treatment ina metropolitian facility maybe once a month. Thats better than none. I would limit his exposure to TV and newspapers, shield him if you will. And have his parents send a letter to his teacher, cc'ing the principal and superintendant explaing the toll the crisis is having on him and asking them not to discuss it any more in front of him. They HAVE to respect their wishes, if not it sets them up for a lawsuit. Hope this helped!
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Old 10-18-2001, 07:53 AM
justamom justamom is offline
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I just called them after reading these responses.
Lifesaver, they really liked the idea about the letter and are calling to set up a meeting with the principal.

The priest gave them the name of another priest who works with children at risk. His parish is only 15 miles away.

I think they had a sense of what to do, but when I told them about the comments from GC, it reinforced their resolve and gave them that extra motivation.

Thanks...from ALL of us.
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