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  #31  
Old 08-11-2003, 03:38 PM
Kimmie1913 Kimmie1913 is offline
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Re: Color and pledging?

Quote:
Originally posted by iceandivy
I can only think of a handful of campuses who still use the paper-bag test. Very few care anymore. Greeks are always in the forefront, aren't they?!?
Please, please, please tell me you are kidding about being able to name any school that still uses the paper bag test??? See this is one of those behaviors and obsessions that we as Black people have that I swear is pathological.

I am light, bright and damn near white in complexion. I used to go to bed as a child and pray that i would wake up any color darker than what I am. It took a long time to get over that.

As far as color and BGLO's- you would be amazed how many people who try to guess my affiliation say "you look like an AKA." It is definitely still out there that light skinned, long hair = AKA. I think it is such a disservice to the members of both organizations. It infuriates me.
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  #32  
Old 08-11-2003, 03:41 PM
Jill1228 Jill1228 is offline
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Unfortunately it is still an issue. I even heard my grandmother say "She is real BLACK but she is pretty". WTF is up with that!?
If I had a dollar for every time I was dissed for being dark (I am one of the darker ones in my family), I would retire!

Come on! Our community has other serious issues to deal with besides this BS!

Quote:
Originally posted by mizzkes
I've heard children express the same things as mentioned above. My nieces and nephews came home saying that my mother is choclate and I am vanilla. My nephew told me that he like vanilla girls. Of course I gave him a long lecture on the issue. My mom had an exprience with a brother from her church. He is a dark complected man who is a single father of a really dark complected father. This man is the center of the attention of many of the single sisters in the congregation. Do you know that he had the nerve to say that he wants to marry a light complected woman?!!! My mother said to him "Well if every man felt the way you do, then your daughter will never find a husband. What do you think of that?" He was dumbfounded of course. I just think that it is a deep rooted issue that will be hard to change on the national scale. It is sad.
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  #33  
Old 08-11-2003, 07:22 PM
evaclear04 evaclear04 is offline
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You would think that we have after all we have been through we would have gotten over this...
This type of racism happens to me every single day. If I have to hear...." Your so nice to be light skinned" I just might slap someone. I remember the first time someone ever said this to me... I was baffled... what in the hayle does my complexion have to do with my attitude??? Not a Dayum Thang!
As far as greek life goes... this is still prevalent. But not in the quantity that it used to be. My chapter was comprised of nothing but darker skinned ladies...so my LS and I stood out like sore thumbs. But that didn't deter us any... nor did it matter to a Sorors. We are all in it for one common goal. And our complexion can never effect that...
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  #34  
Old 08-11-2003, 09:29 PM
Afrochic Afrochic is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by evaclear04

This type of racism happens to me every single day. If I have to hear...." Your so nice to be light skinned" I just might slap someone. I remember the first time someone ever said this to me... I was baffled... what in the hayle does my complexion have to do with my attitude??? Not a Dayum Thang!
You know I've had the same thing happen to me over and over. You would be suprised how much I had to fight as a child because of a stupid complexion issue and because I came from a two parent household, sad but true. When I was younger, I met a girl up the street and we hit it off. One day we were in her kitchen eating and she said she never thought we would be friends and I asked her why. She told me "I just didn't think you were that cool." Years later in college I've had people to say Afrochic, you cool peoples because we thought you were one of those "stuck up red girls." I've also gotten the "you look like an AKA" comment more times than I can count.

When I was in college I would style hair in the campus salon. There was an older lady (50ish) who eventually became my regular customer. One day we were chatting about women who have been in the cosmetology industry for years. She knew a lady who had varicose veins from the constant standing for years in a salon. That woman looked at me and said, "I wouldn't want to be as light as you because if you got varicose veins, you can see them, and that would be ugly." WTF?

Another thing I can't stand is job interviews. I have a name that you wouldn't know the race until I step in the door. I don't think white people mean it, but some act as if they have never been around a black person before who can speak English and dress in business attire. Sometimes they act as if I'm the spokesperson for the entire black race. One day I went to an interview and I was at the head of the table while a good seven or eight people in the company interviewd me. One white lady told me she wish she could tan and get my color because she turns red when she tans. She also wanted to know what hair color was in my head because she liked it. And the other lady said my God look at her teeth, they are gorgeous. I felt like sideshow damn bob up in that piece on display. What in the hell did any of that have to do with the job? How long have we been in America? There are a wide array of hues in the black race. Why is this an issue?

I've also gotten the comment, "Are you mixed with something?" And I say yeah, two black parents. Many people do not realize how ignorant their comments can be. But why do I remember the sarcastic and hurtful comments from childhood until now, and I'm 28 years old? Racism outside and inside of our race is alive and well. By the looks of it, it is not going anywhere anytime soon.
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  #35  
Old 08-12-2003, 01:04 PM
LawyerGal LawyerGal is offline
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Sad but true

That ranks up there with "you are pretty to be big" or "you have good hair"

Huh????!!!! I am visiting family in Jamaica and it is a serious issue here as well the paper had an article about it because all of the Miss Jamaica have been very light to med. complexion and 'coolie' meaning "good hair" or a person who looks mixed. The reporting was commenting on how sad it is that the beautiful sisters who are darker are discouraged from even trying to compete! And this is an entire island of people of color!!???

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  #36  
Old 08-12-2003, 01:26 PM
Kimmie1913 Kimmie1913 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Afrochic
I've also gotten the comment, "Are you mixed with something?" And I say yeah, two black parents. Many people do not realize how ignorant their comments can be. But why do I remember the sarcastic and hurtful comments from childhood until now, and I'm 28 years old?
When I was an adolecent and going through it on this issue I was really upset over people asking me if I was mixed. My dad, (so cute) trying to make me feel better told me to tell them yes, I am mixed. East and west Baltimore. It still makes me laugh.

I have heard all the ignorant comments from "I thought you would be stuck up", "You think you are cute cause you're light," (Side note- no, i think I am cute cause I'm cute!!) From a white classmate -"I could almost forget you are Black," (DON'T! WTF!! That is supposed to be a compliment?) "if I wanted to date someone that light I would just date a white girl," "he is only dating you cause he really wants to date white girls," etc. Wake up Black people wake up!
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  #37  
Old 08-12-2003, 02:43 PM
Steeltrap Steeltrap is offline
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Well,

A good friend of mine who I worked with back in 10 A C was convinced that I was biracial because I'm fair and have fine hair (that some would consider "good," but I digress. ). I simply showed pictures of my parents (mom's fair, my late dad was dark).

I understand that intraracial discrimination exists, but I just think it's a waste of energy. Let's worry about improving education and securing economic opportunities.
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  #38  
Old 08-13-2003, 01:52 PM
sweet26 sweet26 is offline
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I think it is an issue for those that are insecure about themselves. If anyone of you watched the movie "Queen", it is a great example of how this type of insecurity was embedded in most of our ancestors years ago. Queen - (Halle Berry) was allowed to stay in the house, dress nicely ect, while our darker skin generation picked cotton and lived in poor conditions. What I learned from the movie was that, even though Queen may have had an advantage back then in many ways because of her skin color; she still ended up with the same negative effect, when times got bad.

It is unfortunate that some of our ancestors passed this on that it is visibally affecting us in the 21st Century.
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  #39  
Old 08-13-2003, 05:34 PM
miss priss miss priss is offline
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Re: Re: Re: Lawd!

Quote:
Originally posted by exquizit
I had the same problem with the brat when she was born. What kills me is that they act as though they're giving you a compliment by commenting on how pretty their light skin is , or just how much they look like a white baby...WTF?

I also feel it's stupid of them to say........"Oh she must have gotten her color from her daddy"

Does it matter? I mean we're beautiful no matter what shade we're in!!!
No, it shouldn't matter ;but it still happens to me to this day. My daughter is considerably lighter than I.

Now being from the South, I have found that what Northerners (West and East included) describe as light is not the same where I am from. For instance, Jada Pinkett would be considered as brown to some but light where I am from.
Although, most people I knew didn't care what color you were as long as you were pretty.

When I was younger, a guy I was dating (a jerk) once said in a conversation I overheard that he would marry a light-skinned girl and only f*** dark ones. Well I guess you know I told him where to get off!

But it used to really bother me and I would pray often that my daughter didn't experience those same prejudices.

My husband and I just had a discussion very similar to this (black men marrying white women and the reasons why--another issue another thread)--my argument was and still is that we, as an Afro-American community, have a social responsibility to enlighten, require, and demand that the face of the A-A female community is not just some chick with "slightly" dark skin with very "thin" features or some BBW with a hearty voice selling Pine-Sol. My color, or ANY woman's color should not set the standard for what's beautiful but should expose our blackness as merely existentialism.
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  #40  
Old 09-02-2003, 10:38 AM
ShiningStar83 ShiningStar83 is offline
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I'm what some would call "light-skinned", but my roomate is dark. People are always telling her that she is cute to be dark skinned, and while she thinks nothing of it, I find it offensive. She is a very pretty girl and her skin color should not defined her beauty.

In another case, a guy I met at the movies told me that he would not have approached me if I were a shade darker. I don't know what kind of line he thought that was, but I politely left him standing there looking like the fool he is.

But on a lighter note, I have a "thing" for dark skinned guys
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  #41  
Old 09-02-2003, 01:33 PM
lovele1978 lovele1978 is offline
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Quick Hijack!

>>>I am visiting family in Jamaica and it is a serious issue here as well the paper had an article about it because all of the Miss Jamaica have been very light to med. complexion and 'coolie' meaning "good hair" or a person who looks mixed. <<<

It is so funny that you mentioned this. While I was in Negril two weeks ago they were taking pictures of one of the contestants at the resort that I was staying. I can't remember which Parish she was representing, but she did not look like what one would consider the typical Jamaican woman. If I didn't know she was Jamaican I would think that she was Hispanic. I think that it is good to show diversity and that beauty comes in many forms. But when there is only one type of beauty shown is where we go wrong a further divide ourselves.
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  #42  
Old 09-02-2003, 04:17 PM
MsFoxyLoxy77 MsFoxyLoxy77 is offline
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I have several things to say about this issue:
When Halle Berry (and Denzel for Best Actor )won the Academy Awards for Best Actress I was so proud. My friend and I would not change the channel because we were afraid we would miss it (even though, we both new it would be announced at the end of the awards show). Well..the next day my girl and I were eating breakfast at our school caf. The tv in the caf was tuned to a station showing recaps of the Oscars night. Two cafeteria ladies turned as they were showing Halle accepting the award. One said, "Ain't that something a black girl winning that award." The other replied, "She ain't that black though...jus look at her skin...she would not have won if she didn't have that good skin and hair." I lost my appetite. Now we all know Halle is biracial...but her appearance is NOT uncharacteristic of an AA lady who has TWO black parents (period).

My father was what many would call red and my mother is what many would call brown. My two younger sisters have lighter complexions than my brother and I and people made constant comparisons when we were growing up. A pathetic individual who knew my family even suggested that I wasn't my father's daughter because I was the only girl who didn't have lighter skin. When the individual was told that I looked exactly like my younger brother the individual rationalized that it is okay for boys to be darker...but looking at my sisters, I couldn't possibly have the same father. Hello I was of a slightly lighter complexion than my mom but to someone like that all they see is light or dark... That was a slap in the face, my father an mother were very upright citizens, high school sweetharts, when he passed away it broke her heart....but I've swayed off topic. To say that my mom wanted to hit the individual is an understatement .

Last edited by MsFoxyLoxy77; 09-02-2003 at 04:22 PM.
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  #43  
Old 09-02-2003, 04:36 PM
Dionysus Dionysus is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by huggy bear
I only hire light skinned sistas.
For what?
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  #44  
Old 09-02-2003, 04:42 PM
2DISCRETE4U 2DISCRETE4U is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by huggy bear
I only hire light skinned sistas.
The hayle?! Get the heck outta here wit dat...
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  #45  
Old 09-02-2003, 05:43 PM
Jill1228 Jill1228 is offline
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What type of isht is that!?
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