D&R Random - Page 697

DubaiSis · #**10441** 05-25-2014, 02:23 PM

I have my first date in about 15 years tomorrow. So there's that. I'm nauseous. He does KNOW it's my first date in forever, so hopefully he'll make it easy on me.

Phrozen Sands · #**10442** 05-25-2014, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I have my first date in about 15 years tomorrow. So there's that. I'm nauseous. He does KNOW it's my first date in forever, so hopefully he'll make it easy on me.

Good luck. I hope everything works out.

DubaiSis · #**10443** 05-26-2014, 12:43 AM

Thanks. I was getting pretty stressed about it but spent an evening with my multi-cultural, multi-generational group of girlfriends and I am in a better place now. Those girls are MESSED UP when it comes to men and relationships. I think they are far too old (except maybe the 26 year old) to have pie in the sky fantasies about the perfect husband, perfect marriage, etc. One was adamant that the perfect marriage only comes from training the husband correctly. I then explained to her what BOLTY stands for. Best Of Luck To Ya, for those who don't know.

DrPhil · #**10444** 05-26-2014, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KAPPAcino

I think the only person doing the "watching" here is you watching me lol.

Uh...sure....

Good luck, DuBaiSis.

Relax

DubaiSis · #**10445** 05-26-2014, 12:17 PM

Thanks Phil. I'll be fine. It was just when we first arranged it that I had a little anxiety attack. 15 years between dates makes it worse than your actual first date because you know what can go well and what can go really REALLY badly. Asking for 2 days later was a good thing.

But I had an interesting chat with my 26 year old friend who said people her age don't date. They hang out in groups. That may be fine for her then (although I got the sense that she's kinda over it), but what about when hanging out in a bar is not just icky but creepy and you don't have a bunch of girlfriends available to make the hang-out with the guys plausible? They will have not learned the ropes of how to go on a first date. Am I imagining a problem that doesn't exist?

AGDee · #**10446** 05-26-2014, 01:13 PM

By hanging out in groups does she mean like a double date on steroids? I find that to be pretty weird, frankly. Don't you want some alone time with your significant other? My ex husband has a big group of friends who remained in the area and when we were dating we sometimes hung out with them but also went out alone too. If we only hung out with his friends and their wives/girlfriends, that would have been really weird.

My advice for this first date is to just relax and be you. Worst case scenario, one or both of you will realize you don't want a second date. Just look at it as a night out to do something. What are you going to be doing?

DubaiSis · #**10447** 05-26-2014, 10:44 PM

We went for a drink which turned into dinner. It was very nice. We had a great time and the expectation is to do it again. So I think it succeeded! But we're both in sales, so if nothing else, we can TALK. Which we did for 3 1/2 hours. Very dignified good night kiss and nothing more, so that's very responsible of me. Anything more at this point would have been full on terrifying.

AGDee · #**10448** 05-27-2014, 12:00 AM

Sounds like a success! Terrifying or not, it can also give the wrong message.

Phrozen Sands · #**10449** 05-27-2014, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

We went for a drink which turned into dinner. It was very nice. We had a great time and the expectation is to do it again. So I think it succeeded! But we're both in sales, so if nothing else, we can TALK. Which we did for 3 1/2 hours. Very dignified good night kiss and nothing more, so that's very responsible of me. Anything more at this point would have been full on terrifying.

Continue to go at your own pace or what is reasonable for you.

DubaiSis · #**10450** 05-27-2014, 12:13 AM

Well, what you want to do and what you WANT to do can be at cross purposes. But thankfully I am both mature enough and ladylike enough to know the difference.

StealthMode · #**10451** 05-27-2014, 01:18 AM

Yeeaaa! I'm so glad you had a good time!

DrPhil · #**10452** 06-01-2014, 05:00 PM

I agree with most of this article:

http://t.living.msn.com/love-relatio...l-surprise-you

TonyB06 · #**10453** 06-02-2014, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I agree with most of this article:

http://t.living.msn.com/love-relatio...l-surprise-you

I found it to be a series of unfocused, generalized, overly-broad statements, unsupported by much more than the statement that they were taken from a "survey."

DrPhil · #**10454** 06-02-2014, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonyB06

I found it to be a series of unfocused, generalized, overly-broad statements, unsupported by much more than the statement that they were taken from a "survey."

Other than those critiques that can be applied to most web-based articles, with what did you disagree?

TonyB06 · #**10455** 06-02-2014, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Other than those critiques that can be applied to most web-based articles, with what did you disagree?

just as an example....

5. Marriage Will Be About "Experience" Instead Of "Support"
Once an accepted means of "survival," marriage is no longer steeped in being a necessity thing. Those who marry will do it for reasons other than security and tradition, like for the experience of it.

who were these people?
where did they live?
what other influences might have shaped their opinion?
what was their age demographic?

As I said, I thought it was just goofy. could have asked the same types of questions behind several other of the supposed "great futuristic edicts" presented.