Didn't get a bid, planning on rushing again

BlueArrow2049 · #1 10-22-2009, 12:45 PM

Hi guys, this is my first post and thanks to everyone that responds to this

I'm a transfer student and this fall, I hit the ground running in terms of getting involved. Before school began, I emailed 5 of the fraternity rush chairs at my school and asked them for more info about their fraternities. Before rush week, I tried to meet the brothers from their houses at parties or on-campus events just to figure out what group I'd fit in.

At my school, the greek system is pretty small, as the school is relatively new (less then 50 years), so getting a feel for the different fraternities was definitely not an issue.

Anyway, rush week came and I decided to just rush one fraternity that I really wanted to get to know better since I clicked with the guys instantly before rush week.

However, bid night came and I didn't get a bid. When I talked to a brother about why I didn't get a bid, he had told me that I was one of the ones on the line and that a lot of brothers felt like they hadn't gotten to know me, or thought I came off as overeager, lacked confidence or gave answers that I thought they wanted to hear to their questions (though I felt that my answers were pretty honest).

Needless to say, the guys still ask me to hang out with them and even though I didn't get a bid, I made a couple good friends during rush week.

I don't want to rush again and be on the line and not get a bid, so I know I need to change the way I go about rushing. So my question to you all is between now and the next rush week 5 months away (and yes, I will rush multiple houses next time), what should I do to improve the way I go about rushing a house? How should I improve the view the brothers of the house I rushed? How should I expose myself to brothers from other houses to see if I fit somewhere else? (Btw, we don't have a greek row.)

rickydon12 · #2 10-22-2009, 12:59 PM

you shouldnt be to eager like that said . but being exicted is good lol... dont try to be the "super recruit" , just be like the regular guys. Im sure you will get a bid next time and ya rush more then one fraternity, that way you get more then one bid and now your the one choosing!

AnchorAlumna · #3 10-22-2009, 01:34 PM

Rush more than one fraternity?
Honestly, I thought that choosing 1 and rushing only it was an NPHC thing.

Gusteau · #4 10-22-2009, 01:43 PM

Actually, at my university (which has a lot of similarities with what the OP describes) its not uncommon for men to only attend events for one fraternity, though this is changing as our community grows.

BlueArrow, no one can guarantee that you will get a bid next time.

The best thing you can do is maintain the friendships you already have with fraternity men, and try to meet more. Get involved with other organizations and keep your grades up. I don't really know what you did during rush, but just be yourself and try to make a connection with the guys you talk to in the spring - that's really the best you can do.

pshsx1 · #5 10-22-2009, 05:00 PM

My school's the same way and most people only rush 1 fraternity as well (or maybe attend 1 event for XYZ and then go to ABC the other 13 days).

And since we really don't know what exactly you did or said, we can't really give you any specific tips.

BlueArrow2049 · #6 10-22-2009, 05:30 PM

At our school rush is one week with bids going out Friday before or after the pref dinner. So rushing more then one fraternity is a bit of a juggle. (There's no dirty rushing either.)

Gusteau & pshsx1: in response to your comments, I guess I'll be more specific. On the last two days of recruitment, the brothers from the fraternities start asking really personal questions to their rushees like:

"What was the defining moment between you and your father?"
"How would you define integrity?"
"What do you hope to contribute to [fraternity]?"
"If your grandma and best friend were drowning, who would you save?"
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Why do you want to join?"
(this one was the weirdest) "Would you rather go down on your mom or give your dad a blowjob?"

When i answered those questions, I guess I went on to much about my accomplishments and not enough about myself. And at the end they asked "do you have any questions for me?", I would ask "Do you think I'll be a good fit for the fraternity?" which apparently they didn't like, because it reflected that I wasn't confident in myself and it seem like I gave fake answers.

I felt that I was being myself, but the brothers said they didn't feel like actually got to know me. But if I rush other fraternities, I don't want to come off like that again.

So I guess what I'm looking for is advice on how to go about rushing. I understand that you have to be yourself, but I also would believe that there are Dos and Don'ts.

Thanks again everyone.

Tiako · #7 10-22-2009, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshsx1

My school's the same way and most people only rush 1 fraternity as well (or maybe attend 1 event for XYZ and then go to ABC the other 13 days).

And since we really don't know what exactly you did or said, we can't really give you any specific tips.

GREG: l'm not going to say Omega's
the best house on campus...

but a lot of outstanding guys figure
they'll pledge Omega or won't pledge at all.

33girl · #8 10-22-2009, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueArrow2049

(this one was the weirdest) "Would you rather go down on your mom or give your dad a blowjob?"

When i answered those questions, I guess I went on to much about my accomplishments and not enough about myself.

As funny as that question is, your immediate line after it makes it all that much funnier.

Guys, is this common? Seriously??

Psi U MC Vito · #9 10-22-2009, 10:55 PM

God I hope not. Some of the questions I can understand. But a few of them I'm all WTF? Is it possible to haze a rush?

pshsx1 · #10 10-23-2009, 01:07 AM

....the hell?...

And what the fuck is Tiako... nvm.

Anyway... I wasn't asked questions anything like that when I rushed.. not even when I was interviewed for a scholarship for SPE over the summer. The goal was to legitimately get to know me and asses my values from my personality, not prod at me with random lose/lose questions.

sigtau305 · #11 10-23-2009, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Guys, is this common? Seriously??

I hope not.

Blue Skies · #12 10-23-2009, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueArrow2049

"If your grandma and best friend were drowning, who would you save?"

"Both. I'm a trained lifeguard and have actually performed water rescues, complete with mouth-to-mouth resusitation. Rest assured, if you're ever in trouble, I'll come to get you straightaway." Leer at your questioner. That should shut him up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueArrow2049

(this one was the weirdest) "Would you rather go down on your mom or give your dad a blowjob?"

There is only one proper response to this question, and it is to turn quickly around, walk out the door, and never look back.

Psi U MC Vito · #13 10-24-2009, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Skies

There is only one proper response to this question, and it is to turn quickly around, walk out the door, and never look back.

Agreed 100%

Gusteau · #14 10-24-2009, 11:10 AM

My guess - Rush Week is stressful, Rusher thinks "We don't like this kid anyway - let's have some fun!" "Hey kid! Would you rather perform oral sex on your father or your mother - and how does this choice embody the ideals of our fraternity?"

Just a guess, but I think they're just messing with you because they're not interested, try to find a group that's better for you next semester.

dekeguy · #15 10-26-2009, 01:16 PM

[QUOTE=BlueArrow2049;1860125]

the brothers from the fraternities start asking really personal questions to their rushees like:

(this one was the weirdest) "Would you rather go down on your mom or give your dad a blowjob?"

Answer: Tell you what, I'll do your mom and you can go suck off your dad. Then I'd drop that group, beat feet, and go check out the other fraternities on campus.

Or, you could just coldcock that sob and go up to the rush chairman or chapter president and say if you guys are into blowing your fathers and having incest with your mothers then I'm outta here. You would be asked what the hell you meant by that and when you related the question you would probably be seen as the star prospect, unless of course they really were into that sort of stuff.