A drama filled, rollercoaster Back to School themed recruitment! - Page 4

HereComesTheSun · #46 09-09-2014, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

There are some inconsistencies here, however. I don't know the size of quota where you were so I'll make up some numbers. Let's say quota was 30. The first 30 people are put on the list in ALPHABETICAL order, not priority. There is not a #1 pick on the list. So you were not placed in their top 10 (unless quota was 10). If you were also on the first bid list of your preferred chapter but further down the list, let's say position #20, that doesn't make any sense because USC's first bid list is also alphabetical. You would have had the exact same position on both lists. Positions 31 and lower are placed in priority order. By the rules of most sororities (and it sounds true in this case), if you are a legacy and get invited to preference, you automatically go on the first bid list. Which, again, is alphabetical order. Person #10 has no more priority than person #30. If you put USC as your first choice and did not get into that chapter, they did in fact NOT have you on their first bid list. I'm sorry, but that's just how it works some times.

Well if thats the way it works, then thats the way it works. There's not much left for me to do now but wait until next year for recruitment. Thank you for giving me a clearer explanation.

AOII Angel · #47 09-09-2014, 10:56 PM

You have been misinformed. Bid matching does not work this way. Period. You go to your first choice even if you are dead last on their list IF they haven't met quota by the time they get to you. Where your second choice ranked you has no bearing on your bid UNLESS your first choice ranked you too low and they filled to quota before hitting your number on the list.

Unfortunately, your sister has led you down a sad path by first poisoning you against a group that didn't, in my opinion, do anything but offer you a chance to become a sister. She then filled you with misinformation that led you to be so mad about your situation like the chapter had taken away your choice (which is far from the truth) to the point that you dropped out before even giving it a real chance. It's a shame she couldn't have left her bad feelings for her chapter to herself so you could make decisions based in your actual time there rather than tainted by her bad experiences.

ADPi didn't rob you of a bid to USC. Only one or two people in a chapter know what order people were ranked, and like DubaisSis said, the first list is alphabetical anyway. ADPi gave you a bid when USC didn't. Period. I'm sorry you will miss out on all the fun of being a sorority member. I guess there is always next year.

thetalady · #48 09-09-2014, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun

Before I left my dorm, my sister called me and told me she had officially sent in her resignation letter and went alum. I was not surprised at all. She told me not to feel pressured and to make the decision that was best for myself and only myself and go with my gut instincts. She said her gut instinct was to drop her sorority before initiation and go through recruitment a second time or do informal, but she got intiated instead regretted it wholeheartedly because now she is bound for life, no matter what.

This part is incorrect. You EITHER get early alum status OR you resign. Resignation does not get you alumnae status. Resignation actually severs you from the organization and you are not bound for life. Early alumnae status is a privilege granted in some organizations, usually for a specific reason, which varies from sorority to sorority. Simply being unhappy with the sorority is not a valid reason.

If you sister resigned, I don't think that you were actually still a legacy at the time the bid lists were determined. Ironic.....

ladybug12 · #49 09-09-2014, 11:00 PM

Bid lists are no longer entered in alphabetically because chapters are given a quota range...not a solid quota number when bid lists are submitted. So it is top scores and down. You only find out quota on bid day.

You were not high enough on USC's bid list to get a bid. It doesn't matter where you were on Rutger's list. If you ranked high enough on USC's list to match before they met quota, then you would have matched with them. If you were#50 on their list and quota was 52' you would have matched even if you were #1 on Rutger's list.

ladybug12 · #50 09-09-2014, 11:02 PM

You can take that to the bank.

wsucalsigmakapp · #51 09-09-2014, 11:02 PM

Speaking as an alum from this school, I am sorry about your experience. But I can promise that with a re-colonization on the horizon, the school and the Greek life director are "dotting the i's and crossing the t's." I am by no means an expert on bid matching but I am under the impression that if you are in the top let's say 52 because that is what quota was, of your first choices list, you will be getting a bid from that chapter. This is where I could be wrong, so if I am someone please correct me, but if you are in the top 52 at your top choice it doesn't matter where you are on the bid list at your second choice.

HereComesTheSun · #52 09-09-2014, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

You have been misinformed. Bid matching does not work this way. Period. You go to your first choice even if you are dead last on their list IF they haven't met quota by the time they get to you. Where your second choice ranked you has no bearing on your bid UNLESS your first choice ranked you too low and they filled to quota before hitting your number on the list.

Unfortunately, your sister has led you down a sad path by first poisoning you against a group that didn't, in my opinion, do anything but offer you a chance to become a sister. She then filled you with misinformation that led you to be so mad about your situation like the chapter had taken away your choice (which is far from the truth) to the point that you dropped out before even giving it a real chance. It's a shame she couldn't have left her bad feelings for her chapter to herself so you could make decisions based in your actual time there rather than tainted by her bad experiences.

ADPi didn't rob you of a bid to USC. You can stop spreading that misinformation around and accept the fact that USC ranked you after the other girls on in their new pledge class. And, I'll save you from posting again that your sister's friend in USC said they ranked you in the top 10. Only one or two people in a chapter know what order people were ranked, and like DubaisSis said, the first list is alphabetical anyway. ADPi gave you a bid when USC didn't. Period. I'm sorry you will miss out on all the fun of being a sorority member. I guess there is always next year.

I didn't say my friends in USC said they listed me in the top 10, I said a girl from Rutgers said to me.

I gave it a real chance, I stayed 3 weeks and I don't want to stay longer because initiation is at the beginning of October for the chapter and I wouldn't want to just stay until days before initiation starts.

I know they offered me a bid, but my recruitment experience and the way I was just pigeonholed with my sister and not treated as an individual.

I'm not trying to knowingly spread misinformation and i'm just saying what i've been told and whether it was wrong or not since I no nothing about how either of those chapters select members.

I'm disappointed it didn't work out either and considering I dropped today, I did at least give it an effort.

I just hope recruitment will be different next year.

AZTheta · #53 09-09-2014, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybug12

Bid lists are no longer entered in alphabetically because chapters are given a quota range...not a solid quota number when bid lists are submitted. So it is top scores and down. You only find out quota on bid day.

You were not high enough on USC's bid list to get a bid. It doesn't matter where you were on Rutger's list. If you ranked high enough on USC's list to match before they met quota, then you would have matched with them. If you were#50 on their list and quota was 52' you would have matched even if you were #1 on Rutger's list.

Thank you. All that talk about alphabetical is not correct. You explained it perfectly.

thetalady · #54 09-09-2014, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun

I didn't say my friends in USC said they listed me in the top 10, I said a girl from Rutgers said to me.

I gave it a real chance, I stayed 3 weeks and I don't want to stay longer because initiation is at the beginning of October for the chapter and I wouldn't want to just stay until days before initiation starts.

I know they offered me a bid, but my recruitment experience and the way I was just pigeonholed with my sister and not treated as an individual.

I'm not trying to knowingly spread misinformation and i'm just saying what i've been told and whether it was wrong or not since I no nothing about how either of those chapters select members.

I'm disappointed it didn't work out either and considering I dropped today, I did at least give it an effort.

I just hope recruitment will be different next year.

I think we know you are not trying to spread misinformation. We just want to be sure that you are clear on how bid matching works. We also want to be sure that other PNMs who read your story later will not misunderstand how the process works. Good luck if you try again next recruitment.

amIblue? · #55 09-09-2014, 11:29 PM

If you do choose to drop, start thinking NOW about what you can do this semester and in the spring to improve your outcome. Join organizations. Meet as many people as you can. Keep your social media clean, and keep your reputation sparkling.

AOII Angel · #56 09-09-2014, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun

Well later that night, my stomach was in knots and all I could think about was how I made the wrong decision and I should have suicided.

Then at around 1 in the morning, I get a call from my sister telling me I got a bid from ADPi. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I told her to stop kidding because my sister is a jokester, but she was being completely serious and told me that I was in the top 25 of the bid list and she talked to my friends in USC and I was on their first bid list, but not that high, so unless I suicided, I wouldn't have been in USC.

I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was so shocked, hurt and confused. I talked to my Rho Gamma and she told me I was under no obligation to go to bid day if I didn't want to and if I still had just one little ounce of wonder if I got in USC to go to bid day breakfast, but after talking to my sister. I knew it wasn't a joke even though I hoped and prayed it was.

I went to the bid day brunch and we waited and waited to see what bid we got or if we're sticking to the theme, get their college acceptance. At the end when our Rho Gamma passed us our envelopes, I could see through and it said Rutgers. So ironically recruitment was like my actual college application process and I didn't get into USC.

I started crying and I cried even harder when my friends were jumping next to me screaming because they all got their number ones and everyone ran out of the room to run outside to their new sisters and I just cried and then left. The worst part in the world was that USC and Rutgers are next door neighbors and just feet from each other, so I had to see everybody in USC screaming and embracing their new members and I had to walk with my tail between my legs to Rutgers.

It's still even hard to this day.

It's been three weeks since recruitment ended and I talked to my big and just dropped today. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to the chapter and one of the older members said: "We know you really liked USC, but we put you in the top 10, so we got to have you instead of them." They said those exact words and that was the end for me.

I talked to the director of Greek Life at my school and explained what happened at Rutgers and what went on and she told me I actually wasn't the first person that this happened to and there are other girls that complained of this happening at Rutgers.

I actually talked to 2 other girls in my pledge class that were legacies and had the same exact thing happen to them.

I feel so disappointed with what happened and I honestly feel robbed of a good sorority recruitment experience. I wish I could make it a happy ending and I wish I could have stuck it out, but I couldn't make myself be a part of something that just wasn't for me.

It hurts telling this story and it hurts to have to see all of my friends in my hall go to swaps, get ready for chapter and have retreats and get excited for homecoming and getting initiated. But I stand by my decision, even if it hurts me.

The bolded is what I'm referring to. Your sister set you up for disappointment. You may have stuck it out three weeks, but all that time you were stewing over the fact that you were robbed. I also doubt very seriously that you were pigeonholed in the way you are describing. Your description of Rutgers this entire thread has been very closed minded because of your sister's words. If you really are an individual and different than her, you should have been able to make this decision for yourself without her input. It's amazing how innocent comments can be misconstrued when you don't want them to be innocent. Do you see what I'm saying? I hope you'll have a better experience in the future, but I seriously doubt that Rutgers is the villain your sister made them out to be.

AZTheta · #57 09-09-2014, 11:38 PM

The problem that I see is that what was said (about her being in the top ten on Rutgers' bid list so that is why she ended up there) was incorrect. For the love of Mike, that is NOT how bid matching works. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

It wouldn't matter where she was on their list, if she was high enough on USC's list to get a bid before they hit their quota. And bid lists are score-based, not alphabetical. Further, every chapter (sorority) has its own legacy policy. No universals.

ETA: is this a situation where putting down only one chapter (Single Intentional Preference) would have worked in her favor? I'm sure she's wondering.

AOII Angel · #58 09-09-2014, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

The problem that I see is that what was said (about her being in the top ten on Rutgers' bid list so that is why she ended up there) was incorrect. For the love of Mike, that is NOT how bid matching works. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

It wouldn't matter where she was on their list, if she was high enough on USC's list to get a bid before they hit their quota. And bid lists are score-based, not alphabetical. Further, every chapter (sorority) has its own legacy policy. No universals.

ETA: is this a situation where putting down only one chapter (Single Intentional Preference) would have worked in her favor? I'm sure she's wondering.

She wouldn't have a bid at all with SIP. She couldn't be a quota addition without maximizing her options. The only benefit would be not being bound to Rutgers for a year. The whole situation sucks, but all of it could been avoided if big sister had just kept her thoughts to herself. Hopefully, HCTS will make the most out of her freshman year and go through again on her own terms.

AZTheta · #59 09-10-2014, 12:00 AM

^^^thanks. It can't be explained or said enough times. I agree with your assessment.

wsucalsigmakapp · #60 09-10-2014, 12:03 AM

One more thing I would like to add is that your pledge class now makes up at least 25% of the chapter, the seniors will be gone quicker then you can imagine. You don't realize the power your class has. If you like your pledge class, recruit the kind of women you guys want. If you didn't like how they recruited you, then push for change. Be the change, a sorority can be so vastly different in 1-2 years. If you think you could see your self living with the women in your pledge class, then stick it out and make it what you hoped it would be.