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Old 10-25-2018, 11:33 PM
lilvisabel lilvisabel is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 2
Question I have a sticky situation :/

Hi! I'm totally new here, I found this site while googling solutions to my problem and I'm hoping someone here can give me advice. (Beware, this post is kind of long and complicated-if you're not into that feel free to skip, haha!)
I'm currently in my first semester at a small, private liberal arts college. When I got in, I didn't get into the more selective degree program I wanted, but instead into a less specialized version of the same degree program, and was told that I was pretty much assured to get into the specialized program at the end of this semester. I didn't love a lot about the school, but I liked the program and felt confident about getting in, and that was enough. Despite thinking of myself as not really a sorority person, I participated in rush this fall-and I received a bid from what has turned out to be an absolutely incredible group of girls. I love being involved in Greek life and meeting so many new people, and I'm so happy I decided to rush.
Unfortunately, I met with my academic advisor the other day, and he told me that the specialized program accepted more people than usual this year, and there may not be room for me, so my interview is being pushed back to the spring. The problem is that if I don't get in, I honestly don't want to stay at this school-my sorority is amazing, but the campus is so small and there's not really a lot going on, and I'm really only here for the specialized program. Unfortunately, I won't know until my interview in the spring whether I'm going to transfer or not, and it's pretty much 50/50 at this point, from what my advisor told me.
So here's my question (that was a LOT of set-up, I know): what should I do about my sorority? I'm still a new member but will be initiated within the next month. I hate the idea of becoming initiated and attached to the girls there and then immediately leaving, but I also don't want to drop now without knowing whether or not I'm leaving-I don't think they'd be thrilled about me trying to awkwardly rejoin the group next year if I stay here. I'd also love to rush if I go somewhere else, but I don't know how being a member here would hurt my chances. My sorority is a local chapter (as are all the organizations at my school), so I don't think it's technically against the rules for me to rush somewhere else (I might be wrong! I've only heard this from friends), but I feel like it might be frowned upon.
I feel so bad about this situation and I have no idea what to do. If anyone has any advice that would be amazing! Thank you!
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Old 10-26-2018, 03:29 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hotel Oceanview
Posts: 34,090
Since this is a local group, you don’t have to worry about the NPC rule of once you join one, you can’t join another. So you could transfer to another school and join another sorority without doing anything technically wrong. However, you’re going above and beyond the “letter of the law” and thinking about people’s feelings. Bravo! The reverse is what we see on here a lot more, sorry to say.

Share your situation with your sisters- I’m guessing it is something that has happened at this school before. Since they are local they have a lot more leeway as far as holding you over and not initiating you till next semester, or at least until you know your school situation for sure. As long as they know it has absolutely zero to do with them there shouldn’t be any drama or hurt feelings. If they do want you to go ahead and initiate now, be straight up and tell them that if you transfer you want to rush again, whether it be for a national group or a local group. They might be cool with that and they might not. If they’re not, then don’t initiate. You can still stay in touch with them after you transfer and keep them as friends even if they’re not your sisters.

There’s also the possibility that if you do transfer, the Greek system at your new school will be radically different from your current school and it might not be something you have any desire to participate in.

All I can say is, keep the lines of communication open with your sisters and let them know how much they mean to you, and things should work out. Good luck!
It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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Old 10-26-2018, 02:55 PM
GreekOne GreekOne is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 228
As 33girl said, because it is a local, you would have no restrictions about pledging another group if you do end up transferring. I would likely initiate and share that experience with the sisters you have made where you are. Whether or not you transfer is something that might or might not happen. I would not let that possibility limit the experiences that are assured today.
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Old 10-27-2018, 02:10 AM
Doc R Doc R is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 3
Great advice from 33girl!!

Having been a Greek adviser for many years, as well as a member of a national fraternity, i think I know enough to tell you that 33girl is really giving you excellent and highly ethical advice. I am always so pleased to read about young women such as yourself, or young men as the case may be, who truly love and enjoy Greek life; and who are also truly interested in practicing and promoting its highest ideals! I think I can clearly see one of the very important things your current sorority likely sees in you. Always remember, "Going Greek" is a lifetime of joy!
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Old 11-06-2018, 11:39 AM
seekingkappa seekingkappa is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 32
My advice is to cross the academic bridge when you come to it and stick with the sorority for as long as you are able.

My own experience--the short story: I did NOT rush for the sorority I wanted to because of my academic plan and I have many regrets. Treasure the experience NOW while you are able to. If you end up leaving this school, so be it. But not before experiencing sorority life in the positive way you've already identified.

Best wishes to you.
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