Unwanted...twice!!! - Page 3

FSUZeta · #31 12-01-2003, 03:23 PM

some people find cob a better way to go, because it is not as formal as formal recruitment(could that be why it is called "formal"?). often a few girls are invited to go bowling, or to a movie or to watch a hot tv show at the house/dorm suite/apartment. you might be able to "shine" in a more relaxed atmosphere, with fewer people around. less pressure. do you belong to any organizations on campus, or hold leadership roles?
you may find a fellow org.member is also a member of a sorority and you could network thru her. i would not advise contacting any sorority with the intention of finding out "what went wrong"- it would sound like too much sour grapes, no matter how diplomatic you were. do contact panhellenic to find out about the next membership opportunities for you, and have them add your name to the list. if your grades are not "up to snuff" then you will have to work hard to raise that gpa-most sororities have a minimum gpa requirement. and don't dwell on the past-if you rush again, go in with a positive, self-assured attitude. people like to be around positive people. best of luck!

ThetaPrincess24 · #32 12-01-2003, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FSUZeta
some people find cob a better way to go, because it is not as formal as formal recruitment(could that be why it is called "formal"?). often a few girls are invited to go bowling, or to a movie or to watch a hot tv show at the house/dorm suite/apartment. you might be able to "shine" in a more relaxed atmosphere, with fewer people around. less pressure. do you belong to any organizations on campus, or hold leadership roles?
you may find a fellow org.member is also a member of a sorority and you could network thru her. i would not advise contacting any sorority with the intention of finding out "what went wrong"- it would sound like too much sour grapes, no matter how diplomatic you were. do contact panhellenic to find out about the next membership opportunities for you, and have them add your name to the list. if your grades are not "up to snuff" then you will have to work hard to raise that gpa-most sororities have a minimum gpa requirement. and don't dwell on the past-if you rush again, go in with a positive, self-assured attitude. people like to be around positive people. best of luck!

I would also like to express like others have about not contacting the sororities to find out "what went wrong." While not every individual member may know why someone did not get a bid, those that do are often bound by secrecy not to reveal those kinda of things. It's considered business of the sorority and is only for the knowledge of the initiated members to know. Like FSUZeta has said, contact the Panhellenic office for membership opportunities.

smiley21 · #33 12-01-2003, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThetaPrincess24
I dont mean to be a bitch here, but I dont want to blow smoke up anyones butt either..........on most campuses if you go through formal recruitment twice and still dont get a bid.............going through a third time will probably end up the same way, same for many many attempts at COB'ing. It sucks, and it hurts, but that's the reality for most people who do that, I've seen it happen on several campuses.

Colonization I cant really talk about because I dont know much about that not having attempted it as a PNM or having gone through it as a member or whatever/however they do it.

Ultimately do what you think is best for you, but keep in mind the great potential for let down if you choose to go through rush more than twice.

just my two cents.

i see what you are saying. but i think my situation is a little different mainly because of grades. especially for dg, i have been told last year that i would have gotten a chance at a bid if my grades were better. so they want me to work on them and try again. the only reason that i was told was because i was never contacted about whether i made it or not. so i called a good friend of mine who is a dg and she found out for me.

as for kd, i feel as though there were more girl better qualified than me. OR my difficult personal situation was known so they didnt think i would be ready. i am also encouraged to try again. and i did make it to prefs last time.

i dont think i am wasting my time trying again. i still think that i have a good chance. after this time, i will be done if i dont make it.

kddani · #34 12-01-2003, 04:17 PM

I believe that every NPC sorority's membership selection process is secret and ritual. The only people who know the reasons you were cut are the people that were in that room, and they are vowed to secrecy.

Asking what went wrong isn't going to get you an answer. It's also kinda tacky, IMO.

With something like grades, it's pretty obvious. If XYZ sorority requires a 2.5 and you have a 2.0, it's clear.
If someone gives you some reason you were cut, they're probably just trying to think of something because they're put on the spot. Sometimes they may be saying something nice, even though the reason you may have been cut may have been not-so-nice.

BTW- this is all a collective "you" as in "you, sally PNM"

Bottom line is, don't ask. They're not going to tell. If they do, it's probably not the truth.

ETA: what are they supposed to say? we cut you because your super long nose hairs scared us and you wore marilyn manson t-shirts and carried around a dead cat for all of rush?

SigKapKatzue · #35 12-01-2003, 04:54 PM

I agree that there are very many reasons you may not get a bid and that in fact you have a very small chance at getting one this time.

But by no means should you be discouraged from rushing again. The girl who ended up being my twin;s little sis went through three times, and is a great asset to Sigma Kappa. The first time she dropped before pref parties, COB didn't have grades, and then she became a member during Fall semester of this year.

I say the third time may be the charm-- but if you don't get it after this, you may want to question putting yourself on the line again.

BGKdLady · #36 12-01-2003, 05:46 PM

LMAO KDDani - You don't think someone would be honest about the foot-long nose hairs???

I completely agree with you...a sister who is asked why someone didn't get a bid is very UNlikely to be able to or willing to give the true answer.

SigKapKatzue · #37 12-01-2003, 06:20 PM

I did not realize that she wound up creating her own fraternity that anyone can join. Omega Delta Beta, I believe it is? I just ran a search to see what she ended up doing. Interesting.

smiley21 · #38 12-01-2003, 08:58 PM

i think that i should just go for kd. no use in embarassing myself by showing my face again at dg.

SigKapKatzue · #39 12-01-2003, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by smiley21
i think that i should just go for kd. no use in embarassing myself by showing my face again at dg.

Well do you have grades right now? If you don't, it's not worth your time, but if you have really high grades compared to last time, then you might as well give it a shot.

Sistermadly · #40 12-01-2003, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by smiley21
i think that i should just go for kd. no use in embarassing myself by showing my face again at dg.

I should hope that your attitude toward KD is a bit better when you face them than what I see here in this post. It's almost like you're suggesting that you're only considering KD because you know for a fact you won't get into DG.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong. I hope so. I also hope that no one at your school infers this from your statement.

SigKapKatzue · #41 12-01-2003, 09:44 PM

That's true-- a positive attitude will get you a lot more than a negative one. Don't be upset about it-- if you want DG, go there and wow them. If you want KD, do the same. But don't "settle" and don't be negative.

That won't get you anything. Good luck!

smiley21 · #42 12-01-2003, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I should hope that your attitude toward KD is a bit better when you face them than what I see here in this post. It's almost like you're suggesting that you're only considering KD because you know for a fact you won't get into DG.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong. I hope so. I also hope that no one at your school infers this from your statement.

no that is not it. i love both groups. i just dont like my 'fate' decided before anything actually happens. (even though that is what fate is) i am not playing favorites or anything. i am in no position to do that. i just want a shot at both groups. i still might have a chance. i am just venting from frustration. i am trying not to think about it until it gets here.
but i cannot help it. i will be equally excited with either org.

sheisaprincess · #43 02-23-2005, 01:12 PM

Have you tried looking at other greek organizations like Alpha Phi Omega & Gamma Sigma Sigma on your campus? They're just like sororities in a sense and you get the same leadership skills like being in a sorority and becoming a member shouldn't be that competitive.

ms_gwyn · #44 02-23-2005, 01:46 PM

reminds people to look at thread dates....this is almost 2 years old

sheisaprincess · #45 02-23-2005, 01:51 PM

whoops. sorry. i'm still new to this thing