University of Oklahoma Panhellenic Guides Will Not Disaffiliate Next Year

[LaneSig]

http://www.oudaily.com/news/ou-soror...5a2bba3f5.html

Good idea or bad idea?

[ChioLu]

UCLA was 1 of the pilot programs for Rho Gammas to not disaffiliate, Fall 2014. In our case, I think it helped with PNMs staying in Recruitment.

Example: For 8 party day, PNM Sarah Smart gets invited to only 4 parties. She is sad and considers dropping. Maybe Sarah didn't connect well with these chapters on Open House, but knows RG Sue Sorority is an XYZ and that's 1 of the invites she got back. She thinks this RG is awesome, keeps an open mind, giving those 4 sororities another look and doesn't drop from Recruitment!

I believe it helps Recruitment from the Panhellenic side for the Recruitment GUIDES to not be sorority-anonymous. The RGs are their sorority's Face/Sympathetic Ear/Counselor during the emotional rollercoaster of Recruitment.

[BraveMaroon]

I may be the only person in the history of recruitment who didn't really mesh with her Rho Gamma. She definitely played favorites with a few girls in our group, but to be fair, I never had a moment of emotional upheaval, so I was pretty self-sufficient and didn't need much of her time. But I remember when she handed me my pref invite, she specifically indicated that one of the groups was better than the other, and honestly, that affected my opinion - I pledged the house she didn't endorse. Not specifically to spite her, but I definitely remembered it.

Thankfully, she was from a house that dropped me after round one.

I see cases where it would be fine, but I honestly suspect it does more harm than good.

[Cheerio]

Sometimes it is so obvious, in posted online Recruitment Guide Reveals, which groups have fewer chosen Guides. I am talking one or two women chosen compared with 10-14 chosen for each other group.

Panhellenically speaking, for me the panhellenic anonymity of Guides is the better choice.

[33girl]

ChiOLu - did the RGs get to vote on the rushees at their chapters? Sorry if that's a house to house difference and treads on member selection.

[thetalady]

I personally think that identifying the chapters that a rush guide/ counselor/ Rho Chi/ whatever you want to call them during rush is a terrible mistake.

Consider when a PNM has her heart set on a specific chapter that happens to be the same one that her rush counselor is a member of. That can easily lead to the PNM taking out her hurt and disappointment on the counselor, the helicopter mom coming down on the RC for an "explanation" of why her snowflake was dropped and pressure to get the PNM back on the invite list, etc. I can only imagine the horrific situations that could occur at some SEC campuses.

[clemsongirl]

I think that not forcing RCs to disaffiliate is much easier for the chapters, the RCs themselves and the girls going through recruitment. RCs are taboo and verboten, at least at my school, between when girls return to campus for Spirit Weekend (polish weekend) and when recruitment ends. They're completely cut off from their chapters and essentially treated as social pariahs-we were told we were not allowed to acknowledge them, smile at them, or treat them as human beings while we wore letters lest we be called in for a recruitment infraction for talking to a disaffiliated member. At another school, I know that the rift between affiliated members and disaffiliated members became so great that fraternity members felt forced to choose sides and only speak to one group or the other before recruitment ended.

I think it's much easier for a girl to be convinced to stay in recruitment if she knows what group her RC is in and can hear her say, "Well I'm not an XYZ but I have some close friends who are and here's the great things we do with them" rather than trying to remain neutral and saying nothing significant about them.

33girl-I know for us, if you're not speaking to girls on the floor you don't attend voting, and I don't think it's MSS for me to share that. I was on the setup/takedown team this year and didn't meet PNMs or vote on them, and neither do girls on other support teams in my chapter.

[dukedg]

My Rho Chi's chapter was easily my least favorite day 1 and I felt bad later when I found out she was in that chapter. However, she was very similar to the other members and the reason I didn't want to return. Looking back, I wonder if as an 18 year old I would have had the guts to list them last while knowing she was one...

[33girl]

Maybe a happy medium would be only disaffiliating for the week of actual rush parties and not blowing it so out if proportion if a RG's affiliation is found out.

[KSUViolet06]

Yes. The disaffiliation period for some schools is from (first day of school) August to OCTOBER. That is too long - and really, the PNMs usually know your chapter by September.

[KSUViolet06]

Some will say "BUT THE RECRUITMENT COUNSELORS WILL TAKE WHAT THE PNMS SAY AND TELL THEIR CHAPTERS."

However, if you think for one second that when you said "Oh my god, I wouldn't go Kappa if you paid me!" your Kappa-affiliated RC didn't run and tell that, you're sorely mistaken.

[ASTalumna06]

I think there are pros and cons doing it either way, but I also think that it may depend on the school and whether or not deferred recruitment is in effect. There are probably situations where even best efforts to hide RGs' identities are futile.

However, the focus should be on providing the PNMs with the best environment to make honest decisions, and I would think that at least attempting to keep RGs' affiliations unknown would be the best way to do that. The last thing you want is for a PNM to feel guilty about her rankings, or SIPing, or crying over her RG's group being her only option on pref day, etc. The PNMs should be comfortable talking to their RG and asking for advice without feeling afraid or guilty about doing so.

And the RGs should be strong enough people to accept the job and understand that not everyone is going to be in love with their chapter. They should be the person that is known to smile when it's hard to do so, and provide the best guidance possible under weird/awkward/difficult circumstances. There are sisters that perform the job wonderfully, and then there are those that aren't meant for such a position who end up doing it anyway. But it's just part of the system. I don't think that revealing their affiliations up front would make the situation any better.

[ConfettiCupcake]

All I knew about my recruitment counselor was that I wanted to be just like her and she was IN A SORORITY. That is all... She was a sorority sister and she was happy and the system had worked for her. I wanted that for myself and when she talked me out of dropping when my heart was broken, I listened to her when she said that this same process worked for her and it could work for me.

If I had known what sorority she was in, I don't think I would have related as strongly to her story and I might not have hung in there with prefs and bids and that would have been a tragedy.

There is enough tent talk, mom chat, high school influence to go around. Can't we just try to keep recruitment counselors as unbiased as possible?

[33girl]

Being unbiased has nothing to do with being unaffiliated.

If EVERY sister - rho gamma or not - can't sincerely say "this girl is not what we want/we are not what she wants, but I think she would be a great sister elsewhere" then your Greek community needs some unity workshops.

I guess I think of rush differently - not as a "competition" to "win" pnms, but as putting your best and truest self forward so it's easy for women to find their home. If you are so weak of will that knowing your PX is an ABC makes you want to go ABC when you hated them otherwise, your problems are just beginning! Would "out" PXs tip some girls to their sorority? Probably, but if there's an even member of PXs from each group, so what? I'm sure some girls decide to put ASA down because they come home from pref, turn on tv, see a show with someone wearing a red and white sweater and take it as a sign. Har.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

The school where I advise did this (I think most of the regulars know which one that is), and the women said

1) it is near-impossible to conceal affiliation these days, with all the social media in existence

2) each group has 3 RG's, so if you don't feel comfortable talking to one, you talk to another