spin-off from "new black sorority"

[12dn94dst]

i was going to post this with my response to "new black sorority" but i think it deserves it's own thread.

question: what is wrong with some of us heterosexual women? we have no problem telling a man we're not interested (quickly & sometimes rudely), but let a bisexual or lesbian woman express interest and we're ready to fight or we fear we'll catch it like chicken pox or the flu. what is really going on ladies?

[straightBOS]

Its really just a matter of how you perceive yourself and how you think other perceive you.

I know I am straight, and I have always felt that other people perceived me to be straight. ( I say PERCEIVE because we all know looks can be deceiving)

But last summer, I found out that this lesbian was interested in me and was asking people about me. Truthfully, I was soooooooo heated. I was like, "If that chick comes up to me...its on."

Why? I guess I feel like we live in a mainly hetero world, so I think that one should assume that someone is hetero unless one finds out otherwise.
So when a hetero person is approached by someone of the same sex, you do wonder, "Was I sending them some clues? And if so, how can I turn them off?"

[REALITYBLACK]

I would treat a lesbian approaching me in the same manner as I would a heterosexual male that I am not interested in. Neither hold my interest or have anything to offer me in the relationship department that I would like to recieve. A lesbian wouldn't receive a rejection any harsher than that of a heterosexual male. The only reason I would become angry or bless them out would be if I was provoked by their persistence. Anyone that becomes angry or irrate just because they were approached needs to check themselves. That type of behavior is immature and should not be displayed if one is confident about one's own sexuality. If someone approaching you becuse they are interested in pursuing a relationship with you threatens you then you have a problem. Simply tell them you are not interested and move on END OF STORY.

[treblk]

I think there is some validity to your post Professor.
I feel that if someone was seeking membership into an organization, and likes the same sex, if he or she is very manly or very feminine, then NO, they will not get a second thought, because if we let them in, folks will start thinking thats how we roll.
Organizations on campus have a reputation to uphold and to let anyone in that flauts their homosexuality around would hurt their reputation(now mind you this is only MY opinion)


------------------
Treblk
MSK94

[MaMaBuddha]

*LMDSTAO*

i started this post out as a long one because of the last two post...but then i sat back and thought....why should i educate people on such discriminatory thoughts.

it's people like the last two post that cause people to go a create organizations for themselves...forget the fact that they might be the president of so and so, a great leader, or speaker, or very influtential, or might have something to offer to my organization.

just think throughout history we have been discriminate against as black, skin color...and now sexual preference...but the break down.....

"you can be gay, but be like the normal gay guys....."

or

"you can be a lesbian but don't be one of those hard lesbians..."

what kinda bullshit is that???



------------------
MaMaBuddha

Devastating
Stimulating
Tantalizing
_________________________

Imaginer un métro rempli avec les anges tombés...

[Professor]

Hi Ladies,

Just dropping by. I had a similar conversation with a sister on Monday (I hope you see this). She stated if someone that liked the same sex was interested in her organization she would vote not to accept such an individual. Keep in mind we all have the disclaimer that we don't discriminate based on race, sexual orientation, etc. I think one must judge each situation on an individual basis. For example, If a man wants membership to my organization and he is running around campus like an AKA or DST - you know what I mean - those that think they are women - that type of thing - then HELL NO. Now, if he is gay but normal - oh hell, as I right this I realize that I'm digging myself into a hole - acts like a man, respects himself and others respect him then I have no problem.

[12dn94dst]

Soror MaMaBuddha, I apologize.

My intent in asking this question was not to get everyone's opinion on whether or not s/he would vote a homosexual person into our organizations because the fact of the matter is there are many who are already in and there's nothing we can do about it except love them and respect them because they are our frat/soror. I just wanted opinions about homophibia in general. The first two responses spoke to this and I thank the posters for keeping with the intent of the question. Maybe it's my fault for putting such a controversial topic out there but I feel if we can't talk about this and other issues (like hazing) intelligently, how can we begin to resolve them? Maybe we can not or do not want to resolve these issues and others like them. But how can we as members of the Divine Nine and the leaders in our communities ignore issues that are causing our communities pain? Maybe I'm too much of a Libra, too temperate, because I think we can intelligently express opposing view points fairly without trampling each others feelings.

Once again Soror, please accept my heartfelt apology. I love you.

Kelli

[treblk]

With all due repect to everyone and their opinion. This post was my opinion and I made sure to say it was my opinion. I don't think it was "bullshit" in anyway shape or form. I posted my thoughts in reponse to Professor's post. I sure that we have all felt this way at one point or another, especially in undergrad!!
This forum is for Sorors, Sisterfriends and others to post THEIR opinion and/or thoughts, regardless if we agree or not.

Now Soror 12dn94dst, in answer to your post, I think it how we have been socialized to react towards bisexual and/or lesbian women. It is harder to break a habit then to start one.
And that is my $3.00

------------------
Treblk
MSK94

[Professor]

I'm glad to know that someone will champion the rights of gays/bisexuals/transsexuals, etc. I hope to live long enough to experience a society that is accepting of not only different views but also sexual preferences. Obviously this is a very personal issue for some and I applaud your fervor.

"Keep Hope Alive"

------------------
"The World Belongs to Those Who Care Deeply,
Who Dream Broadly, and Who Work Steadfastly."

[MaMaBuddha]

first off, i apologize for cursing. i wasn't cursing at anyone, it's the opinions that i was appalled (sp) at.

i respect (although i don't agree) with everyones opinions in these forums.

i won't drag this post out, but i just want people to realize that homosexuality is a part of this society even though there are people that think it should be keep in secret and closets or even still how a gay person should dress or act.

whether those people are members or apply for membership, those reasons should not be a reason for not accepting a potential person into a sisterhood or brotherhood.

"the torch is lit...."




------------------
MaMaBuddha

Devastating
Stimulating
Tantalizing
_________________________

Imaginer un métro rempli avec les anges tombés...

[treblk]

And like you Professor, I am waiting for that day. No matter how we say things "should" be, or how we want things to be, it isn't. Yes times are better for us then our parents, but there is always some discrimination.
But until that day, we can all agree to disagree.


------------------
Treblk
MSK94

[treblk]

Now Soror MaMaBuddha,
I totally and 100% agree with you.
I do want you to know that I was not offended, a bit taken, but not offened.
No love lost

I know enough bisexual and lesbian Sorors to be closed minded, but in an ungrad chapter, we all know that the way we are precieved is important. That was my point, in conjunction to Professor's post.

------------------
Treblk
MSK94

This topic comes up at an interesting time. There is a young lady that is interested in joining a certain organization. There is talk on campus in regard to her sexual preference. It is a know fact that she wants to join XYZ sorority, but some of the chapter members have publicly said they will not accept lesbians. They go on to say it will open the flood gates and no one wants to be known as the chapter who let "one" in. This school is in the south and a lot of greeks of other organizations think the same way. The rush for XYZ is next week and it will be interesting to see how things turn out.

[Poplife]

I see ya'll are making a sistah come back in here!


I think people are socialized to act a certain way if they are approached by a homosexual. They also get worried about the fact that they may be sending a "vibe". Sorry folks, if you look good then YA JUS LOOK GOOD! Lesbians like pretty women too. !

It's actually funny to see people that believe they can "spot" every gay person. I know plenty of gay males that play on the football team at my school and I know plenty of skirt sportin', perfume loving, make-up wearing lesbians.

I think people just need to come to terms with the fact that gays are EVERYWHERE. (humming theme to "Twilight Zone") *lol*

We're in your classes, in your family, and in your workplace. We might have taught you how to read or how to drive. Maybe we were your best friend in Middle School or your buddy in High School gym class. We are in every NPHC organization whether you like it or not.

I read in another forum that some people put gays in the same class as criminals or abnormal people. They stated that they the avoid them whenever possible. At first I was angry, but then I had to laugh because they really thought that they are living a "gay-free" life, if you will. Sorry...it's not possible.

I'm seriously thinking about getting out of my college before I pursue my sorority interest. It's just too petty on this level. Graduate isn't totally stigma free, but it's better than what I'm seeing now.

[MaMaBuddha]

soror treblk...

at times it is good to agree to disagree.

here goes the bleeding heart...

i love debating with people to see how they think and it gives us a chance to express ourselves. We should be able to talk about any topic across this board. i know i get passionate about certain subject matter, but by no means is anything directed to yourself or the professor. i just hate the way the world is because it sometimes causes us to think this way.


now...

regardless of sex orientation or whatever people will talk. if you are considered the Sugar Honey Ice Tea on campus....people will be watching your every move and those that take interests moves, you know longer become an individual...

it's alway the ABC girl kimmeee....or the XYZ boy johnny....not just kimmeee and johnny.

if Xgirl wants to join ABC sorority and someone spread an untrue rumor about her being a whore, would that stop you (not you in particular) but anyone from accepting her if she fulfills the requirements.

or what if Ydude joins XYZ fraternity and he happens to be openly gay, would you believe the rumors that XYZ frat is gay because they let an openly gay man in???

i know sometimes college can be high school all over again, but when will we move past that?

would you not try to find out about the individual???

if so...we might as well bring back the brown bag test.


------------------
MaMaBuddha

Devastating
Stimulating
Tantalizing
_________________________

Imaginer un métro rempli avec les anges tombés...

[This message has been edited by MaMaBuddha (edited February 01, 2001).]