Cardinal Rule Broken by Our Greek Advisor ;-(

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Wait, wait, wait. I saw, in this thread, Dr. Phil speaking to the policy of DST, and someone else posted a policy for an NPHC group that may or may not have been DST. I didn't see how we got from there to "all NPHC groups have a rule against accepting NPC members." Is that indeed the case?

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Wait, wait, wait. I saw, in this thread, Dr. Phil speaking to the policy of DST, and someone else posted a policy for an NPHC group that may or may not have been DST. I didn't see how we got from there to "all NPHC groups have a rule against accepting NPC members." Is that indeed the case?

I don't think we ever got there. NPHC is not a governing body as I understand it and therefore would not be able to promulgate or enforce such rules even if it wanted to.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by Kevin

As to whether this would be the same if it was between two different NPCs, I think we'd have a brightline rule that it's a no-no. Going back to that '02 thread, no one, including you, seemed to have a clue as to any specific prohibition.

Ditto.

[Basket Case]

Thank you all for your responses.

[agzg]

It wouldn't be hard for the OP to verify whether or not the greek advisor is indeed an initiated member of her own organization - AFAIK most NPC groups can verify that through the member-only sections of their inter/national websites. That might lay to rest some of her own fears about this being a member of her group.

As far as figuring out which NPC, well, I'll assume that it's a limited pool. Particularly limited in the sense that this woman is not solely dedicated to Greek Life - I'd imagine there are very few chapters on campus (this is not a U of I or IU situation - they have a dedicated Greek Life staff). Even smaller campuses (for example, my campus had 5 women's groups, and between 4 and 6 men's groups, for NPC and IFC, then two community-based chapters for NPHC women's groups) often have a dedicated Greek Advisor, PLUS a director of student life (which is what it seems this position is).

To be quite honest, I'd sit on the information as long as possible then make a call after I graduated. Sounds douchey, but everyone will know it was you, OP.

It's interesting to me that she doesn't "claim" her NPC sorority yet did not terminate her membership.

[Kevin]

I'd leave it at that then. If she says the NPHC group took her knowing what it was doing and that the proper inquiries were made, then either she lied in the interview, which I think is unlikely since she disclosed the dual membership thing in the first place, or she's telling the truth and there's nothing to worry about here except for the NPC and whether she violated something with them. That, however, is also an issue that just doesn't really need to get dredged up. You're best off leaving things alone.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Kevin

As to whether this would be the same if it was between two different NPCs, I think we'd have a brightline rule that it's a no-no. Going back to that '02 thread, no one, including you, seemed to have a clue as to any specific prohibition. While one NPHC group might have that specific prohibition, it's entirely possible that neither the NPC nor the affected NPHC have such a thing, but might instead have some sort of rule like the one I posted from Sigma Nu which could really be argued both ways.

Are you high?

My response in that thread has nothing to do with what you're saying.

And if you don't understand what I was saying re 2 NPCs...that's part of the problem.

[MaggieXi]

I'm not sure if this women knows that she broke the rules. Did she say outright that she knew that it was against the rules of an organization? Did she know, act, or omit that the practice is "frowned upon"? If the answer is yes to either of these questions, than there are other issues here. If it's no, and she truly has no idea what she has done rocks the boat in being a member in both organizations (presumably), then that tells you she has little to no understanding of membership in Greek Organizations, which I think would be important for someone in her position.

In any event, I agree with everyone else who has said, if she isn't afraid to share this information, she will continue to share it and get caught by someone else/look like a moron. Or she will get introduced at some conference or meeting and shiz will blow up. Let this one take care of itself. Keep your head down, your mouth shut and watch it unfold until its an appropriate time to speak. If anyone asks why you didn't speak up earlier, you say that you did during the interview process and you were ignored.

[33girl]

There is a huge difference between an NPHC GROUP taking her and an NPHC CHAPTER taking her. Of course she's going to say that headquarters said there was nothing wrong with it - whether they really did or not. That may have been what the chapter told her. At any rate, any woman who is employed as a Greek advisor should know enough to at least keep her mouth shut, if she realized after the fact that what she did was wrong.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And if you don't understand what I was saying re 2 NPCs...that's part of the problem.

Am I high? No. If other people are having trouble understanding what you write and you're not being explicit enough, that's on you. This would be a different issue if it's between two NPCs because all NPC groups have mutual agreements that dual membership shall not exist. There is no such agreement with NPHC groups and the issue is not nearly as clear. While it has been established that 1/9 groups definitely has such a prohibition, that's 1/9.

The question here is not whether a wrong has been done, but whether a rule has been broken. That's a threshold issue.

Get past that before you throw another silly tantrum.

[NutBrnHair]

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Kevin

While it has been established that 1/9 groups definitely has such a prohibition, that's 1/9.

Well, 1/4. The five NPHC fraternities don't come into this equation.

Originally Posted by KDCat

I would think seriously about making an anonymous phone call before you do it.

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

OP has a lot more to lose than one would expect. As a person who has had to bear the truth when no one wanted to hear it, I can tell you they always shoot the messenger.

I likewise would not start making anoymous calls to any HQs. I think people on the OP's campus will have a good idea who made the call, and I can see it backfiring all kinds of ways.

If, as she told the OP, the NPHC sorority said "okay" (or "we can't stop it," which maybe sounds a little more likely), then I would have to guess there is no issue from the standpoint of the NPHC sorority, and there is no reason to report it to that HQ. The issue, if there is one, would be with the NPC group, which hasn't been identified. And that's if that NPC group has a rule prohibiting joint NPC-NPHC membership.

It is a big deal, but it is a big deal that the OP probably can't do anything about, and as Kevin says, it may be a big deal in terms of how things are typically done but not in terms of actual rule-breaking. We just don't know. If it blows up on its own, then it blows up on its own.

My major concern would be making sure that the Greek Advisor knows what the rules are (whether she broke them or not in her own case) and clearly conveys those rules to others and does what she needs to to see that the rules are followed.

[DubaiSis]

If she's doing a good job in her role, which is bigger than just Greek Advisor, then I'd leave it alone. It's really not your business whether she's breaking any rules in her personal life, and the only problem I would have is if you think she could possibly be advocating on behalf of this type of behavior in collegiates. Although it isn't cool in my opinion to do this, it is true that it gives her an unusual insight to the similarities and differences between the two conferences. Since the rules are not consistent among the NPHC sororities and she has for all intents and purposes rescinded her NPC membership I think the only think you would accomplish is a whole stinkin lot of drama. It would be interesting to see what her NPC would say. Would they potentially want to pull her back into the fold? Having a Greek Advisor among your ranks seems to be kind of a big deal.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

OP has a lot more to lose than one would expect. As a person who has had to bear the truth when no one wanted to hear it, I can tell you they always shoot the messenger.

Exactly. OP, let it go. Let it go. Let the universe handle this. Get your fingerprints off the situation. Focus on your dual roles right now, and get your mind off the Greek Advisor. Trust me and Ms. Poppins on this one. Sooner or later it'll resolve itself in some fashion. You don't need to mess with this.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

It is a big deal, but it is a big deal that the OP probably can't do anything about, and as Kevin says, it may be a big deal in terms of how things are typically done but not in terms of actual rule-breaking. We just don't know. If it blows up on its own, then it blows up on its own.

My major concern would be making sure that the Greek Advisor knows what the rules are (whether she broke them or not in her own case) and clearly conveys those rules to others and does what she needs to to see that the rules are followed.

Re: the bolded. That's what I was going to write, but MC beat me to it.

Aside to the OP: I enjoyed reading your writing! Actually followed your train of thought and you incorporated adequate details so that I was able to grasp your dilemna/understand the situation. Kudos.

[AOII Angel]

If you are worried that she is your sister that broke vows, look her up on your database. You could also look up old yearbooks from her alma mater online. You have her resume. Nothing is that secret. I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole, however. You are talking about this woman's life and her career, neither of which you have any standing to question.