I joined a sorority involved in a scandal?

[chrissy92]

After pledging a sorority, I googled their name to find their site...and I discovered they were involved in a scandal last year. It looks as if everyone hates them. I'm not sure what to think of them because I'm shy. So, I have had a hard time getting to know them.
Any advice from people who have been through this? How long would it take to rebuild their reputation?


I know nobody can tell me what to do, but I'd like to hear your thoughts. I've been so confused on what I should do. I want to give them a chance but I want to be part of an organization that people respect. I guess I'm just trying to find someone who has joined a sorority in a scandal and has ended up loving their sisters and improving.


Oh, and how come people tend to support fraternities more than sororities when both are involved in a scandal with eachother?

[Always AlphaGam]

Originally Posted by chrissy92

Hello

I was wondering if when they go to re-check my GPA on my application, if they will check my class standing. I filled out the application before summer classes and said I would be a sophomore in the fall (and I was going to be sophomore, credit wise before the summer classes). However, I am now a junior, credit wise.
Will they change me to a junior and will I know? Like will they tell me the first day that they have me down as a junior?

If so, that sucks. I have 3 or so years still because I just added a second major last fall and won't even be done with the pre-reqs till after Fall 2012. This is only my second year at college and I wanted to join a sorority because I now know that I have time for it.

Thank you for your time

Originally Posted by chrissy92

lol it never hurts to ask. thanks though i'll just rush my heart out and try my best no matter what my class standing is

Originally Posted by chrissy92

After pledging a sorority, I googled their name to find their site...and I discovered they were involved in a scandal last year. It looks as if everyone hates them. I'm not sure what to think of them because I'm shy. So, I have had a hard time getting to know them.
Any advice from people who have been through this? How long would it take to rebuild their reputation?


I know nobody can tell me what to do, but I'd like to hear your thoughts. I've been so confused on what I should do. I want to give them a chance but I want to be part of an organization that people respect. I guess I'm just trying to find someone who has joined a sorority in a scandal and has ended up loving their sisters and improving.


Oh, and how come people tend to support fraternities more than sororities when both are involved in a scandal with eachother?

Okay then.

[DubaiSis]

My advice - turn off the computer. You presumably chose your sorority for a reason and now would be the time to remember that and forget the other stuff. If they were on probation for something (and hopefully off now or they should have told you that), then I would assume that on that topic they will have to be on point or risk further trouble. For instance, if they got in trouble for hazing, I would think you have the least concern of that in front of you.

I haven't experienced it in sorority life but I did have a very close friend go through a HUGE very public (in the news) scandal and it ruined her career and most of her friendships. I stood by her because what she was accused of doing had nothing to do with me. And my life is better for her continuing to be in it.

And why are fraternities let off the hook more easily? I think the "boys will be boys" mentality is still going strong, and girls are held to a higher standard of civility. Of course, I don't know what your chapter's scandal was, and maybe I wouldn't be as forgiving if I knew the details.

[chrissy92]

If u did that so I people can figure out who I am because I can never change that, that was wrong of u. People deserve to have the ability to change what they say/take away info. But lesson learned, people are mean and jump at the chance to hold what u say against u. I'll never post on here again.
And if anyone does figure it out, I hope they see that I don't hate my sorority. I love the girls so far. They've been really nice. I was just worried a scandal could revoke the sorority's charter or something.

[chrissy92]

DubaiSis, thank you. <3

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by chrissy92

If u did that so I people can figure out who I am because I can never change that, that was wrong of u. People deserve to have the ability to change what they say/take away info. But lesson learned, people are mean and jump at the chance to hold what u say against u. I'll never post on here again.
And if anyone does figure it out, I hope they see that I don't hate my sorority. I love the girls so far. They've been really nice. I was just worried a scandal could revoke the sorority's charter or something.

Look. Just look at what you wrote, and then apply it to yourself and what you've done here on GC in this particular situation. Ironic? I think so. You want to be able to change, but you don't want to permit your organization to recover from a mistake? Smacks of hypocrisy to me.

If you became a member, it should be because you value what the organization represents, and you share its values; your membership is for a LIFETIME. You're complaining about - what? You're worried because "a scandal could revoke the sorority's charter or something." So you came here? Really? For what purpose? Come on.

FWIW if the charter is revoked, initiated members are still members. For LIFE. Unintiated members - that's another story, and I'm not even going there, for a gajillion reasons. Don't worry about it, OK?

There have been "scandals" in each and every GLO, I guarantee you. Each time someone comes on here throwing shade on one GLO or another, I post "there but for the Grace of God go you or I." In other words, shut up. Stop pointing fingers. Clean up your own doorstep.

I have no tolerance for this, from anyone. Period. If you're not part of the solution, you're the problem.

And if this means I'm a card-carrying member of the GC Meanies, well, fine. Tough. I've had it with these types of posts. Just HAD it.

DubaiSis - you're spot on in your post and I agree totally with you.

[DubaiSis]

What the compilation of threads (I almost never go back and check posters' previous threads) tells me is that you're a drama queen. You created drama in your pre-rush experience, and you're creating drama in your pledge period. And in a semester or two you'll be venting about the drama over who's up for president or your spring formal theme. Everyone here who's been around the block more than twice has had too many of those kinds of friends come and go in our lives and it gets old.

[ree-Xi]

I don't get the "after pledging my sorority" part. Are you done with pledging? Based on your earlier posts, you just went through recruitment. I would think that even chapters at Auburn, with its early recruitment dates, wouldn't be done with pledging yet, just a few weeks post-recruitment.

[33girl]

What was the "scandal"? Saying that they were involved in it with a fraternity makes me think it was one of two things: 1) getting busted at a party or 2) the girls "hazed" fraternity pledges by signing their butts or something.

Small potatoes in the grander scheme of things. Don't worry about it.

However, if you ARE worried about the charter being revoked, I would straight up ask the sorority's members before you initiate. Not wanting to be stuck in a sorority that no longer exists at your school is a valid concern.

[crosscaravan]

Frankly, if the scandal happened last year and they were still allowed to go through recruitment/you haven't been told "Oh, btw, we're not allowed to participate in ___ because of this thing from last year," and if nobody you know actually mentioned it to you but you found it by going on the internet, it sort of seems like it's a moot point. Obviously not everyone hates them because you and the other girls in your pledge class liked them enough to join. And obviously it's not as widespread or commonplace as you think because you didn't hear anything about it on campus, or anything about it at all, until Googling it.

I'm just going to go on record here saying that when things do get serious and scandalous and such, people do not stop talking about it. Particularly in recruitment. I know everyone would have told you not to pay attention to rumors or tent talk, but girls will still talk and I find it a little hard to believe that you wouldn't have heard anything about this scandal until after pledging if it was really bad enough that your chapter could lose its charter over it. That's just my two cents - and I could be completely wrong, maybe at your school people don't gossip. But even at my school, I hear rumors about things that are going on all the time and I'm far from the most social of people. I heard rumors about struggling chapters and whatnot before I even started recruitment.

Respect should be earned, not freely given - so if you want to be part of an organization that people respect, do something about it. Wear your script/letters/symbols/whatever you have with pride and show members of your campus that your sorority =/= the scandal. The entire dynamic of a chapter can change after adding a pledge class and after seniors graduate, so the things that could have affected your group's reputation could already be changing without you doing much. That said, you yourself will be representative of your group, so if you behave in a good manner, stay positive and upbeat, and present yourself in such a way that people don't even associate you with the scandal, your group's reputation will also begin to change. It could be slowly, since one member rarely can just turn anything around, but reputations are mostly born from peoples' perceptions - and those change extremely quickly. Especially if your sisters are presenting themselves in good ways too.

...and okay, now I'm probably going to sound a little mean, but here goes: Shyness is not an excuse for not getting to know your sisters or for not trusting your sisters. They're your sisters. Conceivably, you signed your bid with them because you wanted them in your life. And they offered you a bid because they wanted you in their lives. And after reading something on the internet, you're worrying about whether or not you should give them a chance and "Wah wah, what if people don't respect me for joining this group?" Because I'm sorry, that's what it sounds like.

If you joined because you honestly wanted to be a part of their sisterhood and not because you wanted letters to wear across your chest, don't let things that happened in the past keep you from getting to know your sisters. Spend time with them. Even if it's just going to study hours along with other girls, helping to set up or clean up after an event, or just hanging out, it's completely unfair of you to start deciding that you're not sure about your sisters just because of something you found out after pledging. You liked them enough to pledge before Googling them, didn't you? So stop whining and act like it.

That said, if they, for example, murdered someone, that's a different story entirely. But something that big probably would have resulted in them having their charter revoked already, before they were allowed to take on your new member class. Especially if it happened last year.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, chin up and stop hiding behind "rumors on the internet" as an excuse to stay in your shell, chrissy92. If you're actually shy, I get that it's much easier to stay in and talk to people behind the "anonymity" of a computer screen, but nothing can compare to what you'll experience with your sisters if you actually give them a chance.

Come out of your shell, experience things for yourself instead of letting what other people have said about your group influence you, and live your life. Preferably without finding something to dramatize all the time. It's worth it.

[sdtennisgal]

Crosscaravan: Oh, how I wish more members of my profession could articulate as well as you! You are a sharp young lady.

[ellebud]

So you went through recruitment without turning on your computer?

You went through recruitment orientation where they told you about all the houses. Do you think that some of the other girls (or the rho chis) MIGHT have said......is on social probation? Not as a rumor, but as a fact.

Do you have such low social radar that you can't discern quality in people and/or truth in rumors?

....and you are concerned about fabrications about your class standing and/or grades. That is a fact. What is on the internet is not necessarily a fact. I am sure that there are sites out there that offer "proof" that the world is flat.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by ellebud

....and you are concerned about fabrications about your class standing and/or grades. That is a fact. What is on the internet is not necessarily a fact. I am sure that there are sites out there that offer "proof" that the world is flat.

WHAT?!? Do you mean to tell me that if I read it on the internet that it isn't always 100% accurate and true?

OP - you need to either be a sister to these women who extended you a bid or get off the bus. We can't tell you what to do, but unless this scandal involves ritual sacrifice, I'd probably go with option A.

[ellebud]

amIblue?: I am so sorry to report that might be a teeny weeny error somewhere on the internet.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by ellebud

amIblue?: I am so sorry to report that might be a teeny weeny error somewhere on the internet.

Wait, that means that what you're saying might not be true, too, and that there are no errors on the internet...but then if that's the case, what you wrote would be an error! ARGH!!! It's a vicious cycle! The Horrors!!