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  #1  
Old 02-26-2013, 08:44 PM
alphaprez alphaprez is offline
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Don't Want To Haze

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Last edited by alphaprez; 03-23-2013 at 09:29 PM. Reason: want to delete thread
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  #2  
Old 02-26-2013, 09:46 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Originally Posted by alphaprez View Post
Our sorority is against hazing, but we want to have the new members do certain things or not be allowed to do some things. We don't want to make them do anything inappropriate, but the respect is gone in our chapter and we need to build it back up starting with the new members! please, any help is appreciated!
Respect for what exactly?
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  #3  
Old 02-26-2013, 09:59 PM
adpiucf adpiucf is offline
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Originally Posted by alphaprez View Post
Our sorority is against hazing, but we want to have the new members do certain things or not be allowed to do some things.
That is the classic definition of hazing. If you want respect in your chapter, it begins with respecting all of your members. Host a sisterhood town hall meeting. Discuss what respect means and why you think that you as a chapter have lost it and ways to get it back. Make everyone part of the solution. Don't single individual groups out because that is hazing.
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  #4  
Old 02-26-2013, 10:33 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Talk to your headquarters for advice. Hazing isn't required (or suggested) to develop member respect. They certainly have helped rehabilitate chapters who are going through a bad patch.
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  #5  
Old 02-26-2013, 10:46 PM
ree-Xi ree-Xi is offline
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Why were you on probation in the first place?
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  #6  
Old 02-27-2013, 12:46 AM
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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What makes you think the "respect is gone"? Have the new members done something wrong? Generalized statements like this are vague, and attempts to address them by cracking down on NMs (who IMHO are not the problem in the first place) never seem to fix anything. First step is to figure out what is really going on in your chapter. Are sisters disrespecting each other? Are they being discourteous? Are people openly rude to one another? Or do you just think that NMs should bow to initiated members and run errands? If it's the later, you're S.O.L. The former takes more work than picking on the NMs and making them "show respect." It takes modeling respect from the officers down. It takes the chapter not tolerating this behavior from members and calling them out on a consistent basis when acts that threaten sisterhood spring up. It means following up, checking with disgruntled sisters to find out why they are so pissy, smoothing over hurt feelings, and telling people to suck it up sometimes. It's called leadership. You change the chapter a millimeter at a time not overnight and not by beating up on the people that had no hand in getting you where you are.
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  #7  
Old 02-27-2013, 12:55 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel View Post
What makes you think the "respect is gone"? Have the new members done something wrong? Generalized statements like this are vague, and attempts to address them by cracking down on NMs (who IMHO are not the problem in the first place).
Exactly. It's February. Bid day was what? .. a month ago, maybe? Let's assume the new members aren't respecting the active sisters, or the chapter, or the sorority, or anything at all. Either you need to re-work your membership selection criteria, or you need to look at the behavior/character of the active members. Either way, it's not the new members' fault. Don't take anything out on them.

If you want them to show some respect, show them some respect in return. Set a good example. But don't put them down by requiring them to do ridiculous things or to dress a certain way. This will surely have the opposite effect you're looking for.
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  #8  
Old 02-27-2013, 06:26 AM
oliwells880 oliwells880 is offline
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Astalumna06 is right. Its like if you want your members to have respect it should be seen in your words and deeds. Like what the golden rule said.
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  #9  
Old 02-27-2013, 08:02 AM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Originally Posted by adpiucf View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphaprez View Post
Our sorority is against hazing, but we want to have the new members do certain things or not be allowed to do some things.
That is the classic definition of hazing.
No, it's not, because the classic definition of hazing includes endangering the physical, mental or emotional health of those involved or subjecting them to embarrassment or humiliation. If it is the classic definition of hazing, then my fraternity and most other GLOs I know of require hazing, because there are certain things they require of probationary members/pledges/new members (e.g., learning about the GLO, tests prior to initiation) and certain things they do not allow PMs/pledges/NMs to do (e.g., wear letters, crests or other symbols, vote in meetings, wear the badge, participate in ritual).

If a particular GLO wants to adopt this definition of hazing, that is certainly its prerogative. But it is way more broad than the classic definition of hazing.

All that said, I agree with others that what the OP is talking about sounds like punishment, not building respect.
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:02 AM
amIblue? amIblue? is offline
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Talk to your advisers! They likely will have some constructive, non-hazing type of things that can help!
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  #11  
Old 02-27-2013, 12:43 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Let's ask first off if the sorority is local, regional, or NPC. The NPC's/individual NPC groups' definitions of hazing are far broader than those of many schools who support local chapters - and that's who they need to answer to.
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  #12  
Old 02-27-2013, 06:00 PM
Gamma Xi Phi Gamma Xi Phi is offline
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Originally Posted by MysticCat View Post
No, it's not, because the classic definition of hazing includes endangering the physical, mental or emotional health of those involved or subjecting them to embarrassment or humiliation. If it is the classic definition of hazing, then my fraternity and most other GLOs I know of require hazing, because there are certain things they require of probationary members/pledges/new members (e.g., learning about the GLO, tests prior to initiation) and certain things they do not allow PMs/pledges/NMs to do (e.g., wear letters, crests or other symbols, vote in meetings, wear the badge, participate in ritual).

If a particular GLO wants to adopt this definition of hazing, that is certainly its prerogative. But it is way more broad than the classic definition of hazing.

All that said, I agree with others that what the OP is talking about sounds like punishment, not building respect.
Quoted for emphasis and truth.
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  #13  
Old 02-27-2013, 07:29 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Originally Posted by MysticCat View Post
No, it's not, because the classic definition of hazing includes endangering the physical, mental or emotional health of those involved or subjecting them to embarrassment or humiliation. If it is the classic definition of hazing, then my fraternity and most other GLOs I know of require hazing, because there are certain things they require of probationary members/pledges/new members (e.g., learning about the GLO, tests prior to initiation) and certain things they do not allow PMs/pledges/NMs to do (e.g., wear letters, crests or other symbols, vote in meetings, wear the badge, participate in ritual).

If a particular GLO wants to adopt this definition of hazing, that is certainly its prerogative. But it is way more broad than the classic definition of hazing.

All that said, I agree with others that what the OP is talking about sounds like punishment, not building respect.
Just to clarify, these types of things are not considered hazing in most NPC groups. However, you will find that such things as not using the front door, not using the main staircase and having to use one specific staircase, being served last at a meal, having phone/door duty when members don't have it, etc are the types of things I believe she was talking about as many NPC groups considering those things demeaning and therefore hazing.
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