"Pref 101"

[AGDPrincess70]

I think it's also important to connect the bond of sisterhood to something they were a big part of in high school (if they're freshmen). I preffed a girl who was really into band and choir in HS just like I was, and she, just like me, considered them 'family.' I compared her band and choir family to sisterhood, using myself as an example, and it really really worked. She told me she was on the fence for a while and that was what pushed her into becoming an AGD. Then she started to cry (you know, happy tears) and I knew she was in.

Also, if you have time before pref starts, have each girl write a personal letter to the girl they're about to pref. It really shows the girls that they mean something to us.

[nwsigkap]

Originally posted by xo_kathy
I think it's also important to remember that not every PNM can be preffed in the same way.

Ditto that! I preffed 3 girls this year and each one was VERY different.


The first girl had just been dropped by her #1 and started crying about it during the ceremony after talking about general stuff for a while. She was really shy and seemed hurt, but the biggest thing with her was reassuring her that everything happens for a reason. She needed hugs, reassurance, and someone to listen, and by the end of her party she was crying again, but this time because she said she thought she found home.

Girl #2 was someone who I had met and talked to before recruitment, because she lived next door to one of my favorite sisters her whole life. She is very laid back, and I just talked about random stuff, answered her questions, told a few emotional type stories, but she didnt really give a response...it was just like the first couple days of recruitment. She didn't shed one tear, but we did hug at the end. I was pretty worried what she thought of it, especially knowing the other group she preffed she may fit in with better.

Finally at the last party was my biggest rush crush. I loved her from the first time I talked to her, and I rushed her hard all week. I have so much in common with this girl it's crazy. She had just left the party of the sorority that one of her best friends from high school was in, and seemed like she liked it there. With this girl I had to pull out every sappy sister family story I had, tell her everything Sigma Kappa means to me, had her meet my best friends, the whole works. Since she lives 4 hours away, playing up the "it's a family" thing was key. When it was finally time to go, she left bawling, and extremely confused since she thought she had already made up her mind before she came in the door!

So I bet you wonder what happened with all the girls? Did they go Sigma Kappa, or the other group they preffed?.....



.....They all went Sigma Kappa! Plus they are still in the sorority AND hold offices!

Girl #1 is now my roomate's kid (and my godkid ), and one of my best friends. She doesn't know what she was thinking liking and crying over the other group, she claims temporary insanity.

Girl #2 put us down as her #1. She had her mind made up before she walked in the door, and pref reassured it. She is one of my favorite new girls, my kid's roomate, AND she's my best guy friend's girlfriend. No, I didn't have any part in introducing them...not me

Girl #3 Went Sigma Kappa even though her best friend her whole life was in the other group. She did give credit to what I said during pref to changing her mind, and she's so glad she did. She has a great BS detector, and since everything I told her was the truth and not some made up stories and tears she believed in our sisterhood and went with us.

[OHNOITSJESS]

BUMP.

I need help explaining (and possibly planning) pref to my chapter. We've never done it and I have no idea how to explain what it is and it's significance in recruitment to the Recruitment Chair. I know we are required by nationals to have a pref ceremony, but our International Board is a bit slow on giving us our log-ons to access the sister-side of the website so we can't actually see what their ideas are

[KSUViolet06]

Some good Pref related threads that might help:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=pref

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=pref

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...highlight=pref

[RaggedyAnn]

Jess, is there a local chapter nearby? Maybe they'll let you sit in on their recruitment practice?

[prettygirlie]

Originally Posted by nwsigkap

Ditto that! I preffed 3 girls this year and each one was VERY different.


The first girl had just been dropped by her #1 and started crying about it during the ceremony after talking about general stuff for a while. She was really shy and seemed hurt, but the biggest thing with her was reassuring her that everything happens for a reason. She needed hugs, reassurance, and someone to listen, and by the end of her party she was crying again, but this time because she said she thought she found home.

Girl #2 was someone who I had met and talked to before recruitment, because she lived next door to one of my favorite sisters her whole life. She is very laid back, and I just talked about random stuff, answered her questions, told a few emotional type stories, but she didnt really give a response...it was just like the first couple days of recruitment. She didn't shed one tear, but we did hug at the end. I was pretty worried what she thought of it, especially knowing the other group she preffed she may fit in with better.

Finally at the last party was my biggest rush crush. I loved her from the first time I talked to her, and I rushed her hard all week. I have so much in common with this girl it's crazy. She had just left the party of the sorority that one of her best friends from high school was in, and seemed like she liked it there. With this girl I had to pull out every sappy sister family story I had, tell her everything Sigma Kappa means to me, had her meet my best friends, the whole works. Since she lives 4 hours away, playing up the "it's a family" thing was key. When it was finally time to go, she left bawling, and extremely confused since she thought she had already made up her mind before she came in the door!

So I bet you wonder what happened with all the girls? Did they go Sigma Kappa, or the other group they preffed?.....



.....They all went Sigma Kappa! Plus they are still in the sorority AND hold offices!

Girl #1 is now my roomate's kid (and my godkid ), and one of my best friends. She doesn't know what she was thinking liking and crying over the other group, she claims temporary insanity.

Girl #2 put us down as her #1. She had her mind made up before she walked in the door, and pref reassured it. She is one of my favorite new girls, my kid's roomate, AND she's my best guy friend's girlfriend. No, I didn't have any part in introducing them...not me

Girl #3 Went Sigma Kappa even though her best friend her whole life was in the other group. She did give credit to what I said during pref to changing her mind, and she's so glad she did. She has a great BS detector, and since everything I told her was the truth and not some made up stories and tears she believed in our sisterhood and went with us.

thank you guys for posting this thread! as a PNM for this fall I honestly had no idea that this is what the big "Pref" night was all about (all I had gathered was that it was the "fancy day"). Reading this gave me a way better understanding of what it truly means to be in a sorority.

This post especially is so sweet and sincere I really really hope that whoever prefs me (crossing fingers that i get that far!) is as genuine as you are.

Sorry for all the warm fuzzies. Just wanted to send out a few kudos. (:

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by nwsigkap

Ditto that! I preffed 3 girls this year and each one was VERY different.


The first girl had just been dropped by her #1 and started crying about it during the ceremony after talking about general stuff for a while. She was really shy and seemed hurt, but the biggest thing with her was reassuring her that everything happens for a reason. She needed hugs, reassurance, and someone to listen, and by the end of her party she was crying again, but this time because she said she thought she found home.

Girl #2 was someone who I had met and talked to before recruitment, because she lived next door to one of my favorite sisters her whole life. She is very laid back, and I just talked about random stuff, answered her questions, told a few emotional type stories, but she didnt really give a response...it was just like the first couple days of recruitment. She didn't shed one tear, but we did hug at the end. I was pretty worried what she thought of it, especially knowing the other group she preffed she may fit in with better.

Finally at the last party was my biggest rush crush. I loved her from the first time I talked to her, and I rushed her hard all week. I have so much in common with this girl it's crazy. She had just left the party of the sorority that one of her best friends from high school was in, and seemed like she liked it there. With this girl I had to pull out every sappy sister family story I had, tell her everything Sigma Kappa means to me, had her meet my best friends, the whole works. Since she lives 4 hours away, playing up the "it's a family" thing was key. When it was finally time to go, she left bawling, and extremely confused since she thought she had already made up her mind before she came in the door!

So I bet you wonder what happened with all the girls? Did they go Sigma Kappa, or the other group they preffed?.....



.....They all went Sigma Kappa! Plus they are still in the sorority AND hold offices!

Girl #1 is now my roomate's kid (and my godkid ), and one of my best friends. She doesn't know what she was thinking liking and crying over the other group, she claims temporary insanity.

Girl #2 put us down as her #1. She had her mind made up before she walked in the door, and pref reassured it. She is one of my favorite new girls, my kid's roomate, AND she's my best guy friend's girlfriend. No, I didn't have any part in introducing them...not me

Girl #3 Went Sigma Kappa even though her best friend her whole life was in the other group. She did give credit to what I said during pref to changing her mind, and she's so glad she did. She has a great BS detector, and since everything I told her was the truth and not some made up stories and tears she believed in our sisterhood and went with us.

I was given girls like myself to pref. For me, tears were a huge turn off, genuine or not. I squirm around big emotional scenes. The sorority I preffed besides mine had a beautiful pref...and then they started crying. And then the PNM's that I had been friends with started crying. At the chapter I became a part of, a couple of seniors got misty eyed...but that was it. I felt much more at home there. For girls like that it's best to not get emotional, hence the girls I was assigned to. One ended up dropping out and one had her mind made up for another sorority before pref. But both talked to me afterwards and told me despite the way things ended up, tears would've made them want to run screaming.

Try to keep that in mind when reading PNM's...if some sisters are emotional in situations like that, they are best suited for the sensitive sounding PNM's, and for the sisters that are a little harder to crack, have the less emotionally responsive PNM's pair with them. This is important! It's easy to mis-read, but still...for a PNM that is wavering who prefs them can make a HUGE difference.

[OHNOITSJESS]

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

Jess, is there a local chapter nearby? Maybe they'll let you sit in on their recruitment practice?

Unfortunately the closest school in our region is 9 hours away (still in-state too)

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Try to keep that in mind when reading PNM's...if some sisters are emotional in situations like that, they are best suited for the sensitive sounding PNM's, and for the sisters that are a little harder to crack, have the less emotionally responsive PNM's pair with them. This is important! It's easy to mis-read, but still...for a PNM that is wavering who prefs them can make a HUGE difference.

Thanks for this advice Apparently I'm currently temporary pref chair until we can make it official so it's really helpful. What kinds of 'bumping' techniques do y'all use (if that's not delving into Ritual/MS)?