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03-11-2017, 09:37 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Should I drop out of my sorority before recruitment?
I joined a sorority a couple months ago, and I m not really happy with it, and haven t clicked with a lot of the girls. I chose this sorority for really crappy reasons. A friend of mine suicide bid there which definitely affected my decision, and I also picked it for shallow reasons like popularity and status. There was another sorority that I almost put first but I didn t because I really fit in and felt comfortable there but I felt like being me wasn t good enough. The day of bid day I knew I had made a mistake. But I stayed with it to see if it got better and I still am undecided. Is dropping the right choice? Or should I stay and hope that things get better?
Edit: I meant to say before initiation not recruitment!!
Last edited by undecided2404; 03-12-2017 at 10:10 AM.
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03-11-2017, 10:00 PM
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If you are initiated you can not join another sorority. Ever. If that is the case, try to find some things to love about your chapter. Join a committee within your chapter to get to know different sisters.
If you have not been initiated yet, now would be the time to resign, so that you could rerush.
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03-12-2017, 10:11 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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I meant to say initiation not recruitment sorry!!
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03-12-2017, 11:11 AM
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Well that makes more sense.
You said you haven't clicked w/ a lot of the girls, which leads me to think there are girls you HAVE clicked with. You are not going to be BFFs with every single person in your chapter, whether your chapter is 15 or 500, and there are going to be some who get on your last nerve at some point over your sorority career, unless you have the personality and emotions of a piece of paper.
There are lots of people out there who pick their sorority for kinda shallow reasons. It doesn't mean you can't end up having a wonderful experience. (That is life in general, btw)
Sit down and write out a pros and cons list (everything that pops into your mind, no matter how small). It's always helpful to see it written out. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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05-05-2017, 09:28 AM
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Join Date: May 2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FSUZeta
If you are initiated you can not join another sorority. Ever.
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Actually you can, if you are initiated into a NPC then you can't join another NPC - but there is nothing stopping you from joining another orgnization, locals, nationals not on NPC, for example. Whether or not they'll accept someone who dropped is different with every organization
Similarly, if you were in a non NPC you can drop and try to go for a NPC, but it's up to that chapter whether they would like to give you a bid, I know at my school a girl dropped a local then went Phi Sig
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05-05-2017, 09:41 AM
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You are right of course. We tend tohave a tad bit of NPC tunnel vision on this site (understandable given our membership).
Although if there were local sororities on my campus that were part of the college Panhellenic, participated in formal rush with the NPC sororities, and in general were looked at on the campus the same way as the NPC groups...maybe technically you can drop one of those groups and join an NPC, but in practice, it's kind of a really shady thing to do. And vice versa.
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03-12-2017, 12:43 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by undecided2404
Should I drop out of my sorority before recruitment?
I joined a sorority a couple months ago, and I m not really happy with it, and haven t clicked with a lot of the girls. I chose this sorority for really crappy reasons. A friend of mine suicide bid there which definitely affected my decision, and I also picked it for shallow reasons like popularity and status. There was another sorority that I almost put first but I didn t because I really fit in and felt comfortable there but I felt like being me wasn t good enough. The day of bid day I knew I had made a mistake. But I stayed with it to see if it got better and I still am undecided. Is dropping the right choice? Or should I stay and hope that things get better?
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I don't understand what recruitment has to do with whether or not you remain in your organization?
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03-12-2017, 01:21 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Do most sororities have a "gentleman's agreement" that they will not initiate someone who used to be a full member of another sorority even if they were expelled?
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03-12-2017, 01:30 PM
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NPC sororities do have that agreement, yes. But that has nothing to do with this thread. The OP hasn't been initiated or expelled.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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03-12-2017, 02:47 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
NPC sororities do have that agreement, yes. But that has nothing to do with this thread. The OP hasn't been initiated or expelled.
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I was responding to this quote
Quote:
If you are initiated you can not join another sorority. Ever. If that is the case, try to find some things to love about your chapter. Join a committee within your chapter to get to know different sisters.
If you have not been initiated yet, now would be the time to resign, so that you could rerush.
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03-12-2017, 03:26 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2000
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The OP clarified that she meant to say "initiation" and not "recruitment" when she titled her post. The first paragraph in the post you are quoting was written before the OP clarified.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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03-12-2017, 03:49 PM
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Location: Sweet Home Alabama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by craigrx
Do most sororities have a "gentleman's agreement" that they will not initiate someone who used to be a full member of another sorority even if they were expelled?
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It's not a gentleman's agreement. It is in a formal, written agreement called The Unanimous Agreements. Item III The Panhellenic Compact states:
A woman who is or who has ever been an initiated member of an existing NPC fraternity shall not be eligible for membership in another NPC fraternity.
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03-12-2017, 03:52 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Titchou
It's not a gentleman's agreement. It is in a formal, written agreement called The Unanimous Agreements. Item III The Panhellenic Compact states:
A woman who is or who has ever been an initiated member of an existing NPC fraternity shall not be eligible for membership in another NPC fraternity.
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Thanks for the clarification.
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03-12-2017, 07:42 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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I'm just worried cause there's still a real chance I could be in the other sorority that I didn't pick for bad reasons (I have a lot of friends in it) but if I go through initiation at the sorority I'm currently pledging and drop after I wouldn't be able to rush next year... I'm just worried if I stay already feeling unhappy and a year from now I feel the same and end up dropping then I'll be left with nothing. I guess my gut is telling me to drop but I feel paralyzed by the fear that dropping is a mistake and that I'll regret it.
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03-12-2017, 07:51 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,290
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Quote:
Originally Posted by undecided2404
I'm just worried cause there's still a real chance I could be in the other sorority that I didn't pick for bad reasons (I have a lot of friends in it) but if I go through initiation at the sorority I'm currently pledging and drop after I wouldn't be able to rush next year... I'm just worried if I stay already feeling unhappy and a year from now I feel the same and end up dropping then I'll be left with nothing. I guess my gut is telling me to drop but I feel paralyzed by the fear that dropping is a mistake and that I'll regret it.
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You ultimately need to ask yourself why you're not happy in your current sorority. If it's because you're not "clicking" with other members, have you tried to reach out and hang out with them? Have you attended all events and attempted to connect? How many members are there in your chapter? If you're not in a smaller chapter (less than 30 members), I'd find it hard to believe that you can't connect with anyone.
Are you only looking to the other chapter as the answer because you already have friends there and it will be "easy" for you?
You don't have to be sorority sisters with your bffs.
You need to seriously weigh your options. Because if you drop and go through recruitment again, there's no guarantee that you'll get a bid to the other chapter.
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