A drama filled, rollercoaster Back to School themed recruitment!

[Wynter]

I love this story and all of the juicy drama involved! I also love your attitude and can empathize with you...that's annoying that you feel "pulled" into Rutgers because of your sister. I can understand why you don't feel they're giving you a fair shot as an individual, not just as an extension of your sister.

Looking forward to hearing how this all ends!!

[honeychile]

I have to ask - other than ONE obligatory comment about a PNM being an in house legacy, did I belong to the only chapter who was NOT permitted to discuss the original sister? Well, unless the PNM brought up her sister, that is.

[ASUADPi]

As I graduated from Arizona State, I'm rooting them on.

[HereComesTheSun]

House Tours Day!

I was feeling pretty good about Philanthropy yesterday and I was eager as usual to get my schedule for the day! Again, Panhellenic waited until the absolute last minute to give us our schedules back. I was the last name called by my Rho Gamma and when I finally got my schedule, I had no time to react.

1.Rutgers
2.USC

I had been dropped by 5 chapters. What did I do wrong? How did I get cut by so many? My Rho Gamma told us that many chapters drop PNMs for grades after the first round and if anytime during the week we were released from recruitment or got heavy cuts, we would be called at night to know before. So I was expecting the worse then and definitely didn't expect that coming today.

But being a sleep-deprived teenage girl that had a damper on her self-esteem, I cried. But I had to get myself together for my party at Rutgers.

So the first chapter I went to was Rutgers and half of the PNMs were getting house tours from members and the other half were having conversations in the living room. I was having my conversations first. I was talking to a woman and surprise! The first thing she said was: "So HereComesTheSun, I know you're _______'s sister. How's recruitment going. Are you liking it? Are you excited to be back at Rutgers? We really like you here and you're just like your sister, so you'll fit in great here."

She barely finished her sentence before I broke down crying. I couldn't take it anymore. Was I allowed any autonomy or freedom to be my own person anymore? It hurt so much and it was so frustrating because the majority of these women actually didn't even know my name and i'm pretty sure they wouldn't if I didn't have my name tag on. And even though I did just like everyone else, they still called me Baby (my sisters name or last name), Little (my sisters name or last name), _______'s sister or if they really just didn't care, my sisters name.

I throughout the week I smiled and said: "Hahaha my name is HereComesTheSun and I'd prefer that please!" But that didn't matter I guess. I felt permanently attached to my sister and Rutgers. I know i'm a legacy, so i'm considered as such, but this didn't feel right and it felt like this was being forced upon me against my will.

So I asked the girl rushing me if I could go to the bathroom and on my way to the bathroom, I saw my sister and she took me to the private bathroom and I bawled my eyes out in there. My sister told me that the girls in Rutgers were really trying to rush me hard because they knew I liked USC and they really wanted me. My sister again did not take part in membership selection or even talking to PNMs because she was growing so tired of Rutgers. So I finally got myself together and left the bathroom. The girl who was rushing me left and a woman I talked to early in the week on exec gave me a house tour.

She barely gave the tour and said to almost everything: "I'm sure you've already seen this" or "I'm sure you know about this from your sister.". But as she was showing me the rooms, she said: "We have 3 open spots in the house. Would you be interested in lving in?"

NO! I didn't like them at all and I've been in my dorm for 4 days! I wanted to get the freshman experience of living in a dorm and I told her that.

This house tour was a disaster and I couldn't wait to get out of here. After we finally left, I got to go on a break, then go to USC, which I couldn't wait for.

After my break, I went to USC and my day definitely got a lot better. The ladies were fun and sweet as usual and gave us a tour of the house which was beautiful. The girl I was talking to was really nice and funny and was asking me great questions and really getting to know me. She was telling me about how everyone in the house thought it was haunted and how they all stayed up the night before telling ghost stories of creepy things that happened in the house.

Then we started exchanging roommate stories and it was hilarious because my roommate talks in her sleep and there was a girl in the sleeping porch that walked in her sleep!

But I digress. I had a great time there and my friends gave me quick hugs and waves and it just felt really right there. I knew it before, but that day I could honestly really see myself being a member of that house, living in and even having a leadership position at some point because it just felt like home.

At USC, I felt like I could really be myself and I didn't feel like I had to be a D-1, all-star PNM like other chapters I visited. And they didn't make me feel uncomfortable or weird like other houses. Which is ironic in juxtaposition to Rutgers because I knew many girls at both houses and I know both houses liked me, but they both showed their interest and treated me completely differently.

Anyway, I had a great time and didn't want to leave. But after I did, I could do my preferencing early because I had no other chapters to go to for the day and since I didn' go to the maximum number, I just put down USC and Rutgers.

Later in the evening, we had programming where we learned all about preferencing and how the preference card was a binding contract that lasted up to a year with no exceptions and when it comes down to it, if you write all of the chapters you get, on bid day you get what you get. They told us a statistic that last year, 88% of the PNMs who maximized their options and put down all of the chapters they visited on pref day, whether it was one chapter, two chapters or three, got their first choice.

They really stressed the fact that you're supposed to maximize your options no matter what and not maximizing your options could be detrimental. I heard this before and even read it all the time on GreekChat and read the fact that if you did single intention preferencing, you would not be able to be made a quota addition, so this scared me into making myself maximize my options. Also, I remembered what the sophomore in my Rho Gamma group saying about how the biggest mistake she made was suiciding.

So I had all of that in my mind and the fear of tomorrow. Preference day.

Would I get invited back to USC? Would Rutgers finally drop me? Would I get invited back by anybody! This was probably one of the hardest days during recruitment because my mind was swirling with "what-if's"

[chi-o_cat]

1. I'm loving this story, and
2. A prime example of the blessing and the curse of being a legacy!

[amIblue?]

Keep it coming! Love hearing your story!

[HereComesTheSun]

Originally Posted by chi-o_cat

1. I'm loving this story, and
2. A prime example of the blessing and the curse of being a legacy!

Ironically enough, my roommate who was also going through recruitment, was a legacy to Pepperdine and was absolutely in love with them but got dropped from them on this day.

Funny how things work

[KDCat]

This should be Exhibit A on how NOT to rush a legacy.

No one wants to be the "Baby" version of their sister or their mother, especially not in their first semester of college. Good Lord.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by KDCat

This should be Exhibit A on how NOT to rush a legacy.

No one wants to be the "Baby" version of their sister or their mother, especially not in their first semester of college. Good Lord.

Ugh... agree 100%. I hope, hope, hope you are invited back to USC and that Rutgers cops a clue!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by HereComesTheSun

House Tours Day!

I was feeling pretty good about Philanthropy yesterday and I was eager as usual to get my schedule for the day! Again, Panhellenic waited until the absolute last minute to give us our schedules back. I was the last name called by my Rho Gamma and when I finally got my schedule, I had no time to react.

1.Rutgers
2.USC

I had been dropped by 5 chapters. What did I do wrong? How did I get cut by so many? My Rho Gamma told us that many chapters drop PNMs for grades after the first round and if anytime during the week we were released from recruitment or got heavy cuts, we would be called at night to know before. So I was expecting the worse then and definitely didn't expect that coming today.

But being a sleep-deprived teenage girl that had a damper on her self-esteem, I cried. But I had to get myself together for my party at Rutgers.

So the first chapter I went to was Rutgers and half of the PNMs were getting house tours from members and the other half were having conversations in the living room. I was having my conversations first. I was talking to a woman and surprise! The first thing she said was: "So HereComesTheSun, I know you're _______'s sister. How's recruitment going. Are you liking it? Are you excited to be back at Rutgers? We really like you here and you're just like your sister, so you'll fit in great here."

She barely finished her sentence before I broke down crying. I couldn't take it anymore. Was I allowed any autonomy or freedom to be my own person anymore? It hurt so much and it was so frustrating because the majority of these women actually didn't even know my name and i'm pretty sure they wouldn't if I didn't have my name tag on. And even though I did just like everyone else, they still called me Baby (my sisters name or last name), Little (my sisters name or last name), _______'s sister or if they really just didn't care, my sisters name.

I throughout the week I smiled and said: "Hahaha my name is HereComesTheSun and I'd prefer that please!" But that didn't matter I guess. I felt permanently attached to my sister and Rutgers. I know i'm a legacy, so i'm considered as such, but this didn't feel right and it felt like this was being forced upon me against my will.

So I asked the girl rushing me if I could go to the bathroom and on my way to the bathroom, I saw my sister and she took me to the private bathroom and I bawled my eyes out in there. My sister told me that the girls in Rutgers were really trying to rush me hard because they knew I liked USC and they really wanted me. My sister again did not take part in membership selection or even talking to PNMs because she was growing so tired of Rutgers. So I finally got myself together and left the bathroom. The girl who was rushing me left and a woman I talked to early in the week on exec gave me a house tour.

She barely gave the tour and said to almost everything: "I'm sure you've already seen this" or "I'm sure you know about this from your sister.". But as she was showing me the rooms, she said: "We have 3 open spots in the house. Would you be interested in lving in?"

NO! I didn't like them at all and I've been in my dorm for 4 days! I wanted to get the freshman experience of living in a dorm and I told her that.

This house tour was a disaster and I couldn't wait to get out of here. After we finally left, I got to go on a break, then go to USC, which I couldn't wait for.

After my break, I went to USC and my day definitely got a lot better. The ladies were fun and sweet as usual and gave us a tour of the house which was beautiful. The girl I was talking to was really nice and funny and was asking me great questions and really getting to know me. She was telling me about how everyone in the house thought it was haunted and how they all stayed up the night before telling ghost stories of creepy things that happened in the house.

Then we started exchanging roommate stories and it was hilarious because my roommate talks in her sleep and there was a girl in the sleeping porch that walked in her sleep!

But I digress. I had a great time there and my friends gave me quick hugs and waves and it just felt really right there. I knew it before, but that day I could honestly really see myself being a member of that house, living in and even having a leadership position at some point because it just felt like home.

At USC, I felt like I could really be myself and I didn't feel like I had to be a D-1, all-star PNM like other chapters I visited. And they didn't make me feel uncomfortable or weird like other houses. Which is ironic in juxtaposition to Rutgers because I knew many girls at both houses and I know both houses liked me, but they both showed their interest and treated me completely differently.

Anyway, I had a great time and didn't want to leave. But after I did, I could do my preferencing early because I had no other chapters to go to for the day and since I didn' go to the maximum number, I just put down USC and Rutgers.

Later in the evening, we had programming where we learned all about preferencing and how the preference card was a binding contract that lasted up to a year with no exceptions and when it comes down to it, if you write all of the chapters you get, on bid day you get what you get. They told us a statistic that last year, 88% of the PNMs who maximized their options and put down all of the chapters they visited on pref day, whether it was one chapter, two chapters or three, got their first choice.

They really stressed the fact that you're supposed to maximize your options no matter what and not maximizing your options could be detrimental. I heard this before and even read it all the time on GreekChat and read the fact that if you did single intention preferencing, you would not be able to be made a quota addition, so this scared me into making myself maximize my options. Also, I remembered what the sophomore in my Rho Gamma group saying about how the biggest mistake she made was suiciding.

So I had all of that in my mind and the fear of tomorrow. Preference day.

Would I get invited back to USC? Would Rutgers finally drop me? Would I get invited back by anybody! This was probably one of the hardest days during recruitment because my mind was swirling with "what-if's"

LOL, rush infraction much?

[luv n tpa]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

LOL, rush infraction much?

My thoughts exactly.

[UNCalum]

The legacy situation definitely IS a blessing and a curse! My daughter rushed this year and was cut heavily early on, possibly due to the fact that other houses assumed she would choose her sister's sorority. Luckily for her, she did pledge her sister's sorority and couldn't be happier! She did feel that her options were limited by being a legacy, though, so I can definitely understand how you feel! I can't wait to hear how this turns out!

[33girl]

Filling open spots in the house don't always = getting a bid. But for a rush this big it's pretty weird. I mean that they would even ADMIT they had open spots in the house. That would make PNMs wonder why that was even if they liked the chapter.

The fact that Rutgers is so clueless that older sister is fed up with the group is more disturbing to me than any of the dirty rushing.

[HereComesTheSun]

Preference day is here!

Today is the day. Preference day is the final day before bid day and it seemed like that week dragged on, but went faster than the speed of lightning.

I put on my best dress, wedges and my favorite necklace and mentally prepared myself for what could have happened. I didn't get a call the night before saying i'd been released. So I could've been invited back to one chapter or both.

Before I left my dorm, my sister called me and told me she had officially sent in her resignation letter and went alum. I was not surprised at all. She told me not to feel pressured and to make the decision that was best for myself and only myself and go with my gut instincts. She said her gut instinct was to drop her sorority before initiation and go through recruitment a second time or do informal, but she got intiated instead regretted it wholeheartedly because now she is bound for life, no matter what.

That definitely scared me and my heart was jumping out of my chest before I left.

We walked to the area where we usually get our schedules and all of the color had been drained out of my face and I had no idea what was going on or what my schedule even was, but I was expecting the worst.

I finally got my schedule and the look on my face was priceless.

1. USC
2. Rutgers

The same schedule as yesterday. I was so excited I made it this far with USC because I had other friends that got dropped from houses they knew a lot of girls in during recruitment and I was so relieved that I got invited back to my number one again. But I still got invited back to Rutgers which amazes me to this day. I left a conversation midway to go to the bathroom andd cry and came back with my face red and tear stained and barely said a word, but I still got invited back.

Luckily I got invited back to USC so I could put my absolute best foot forward and really let them know that this was where I wanted to be and could proudly wear the letters for for the rest of my life.

I walked to USC very determined and one of the girls I talked to earlier in the week pref'd me and I absolutely loved her. She was so nice and I was excited that she was the one pref'ing me. This day was the longest so we talked about everything from how recruitment was going to what stores we could spend our ladt penny at.

She was a senior, so she was talking about how much she loved her chapter and how hard it was to go through recruitment for the last time because it's just another step on the way to graduating and becoming an alum and that made me emotional because the fact that she loved it so much and was so dedicated really made me 10 times more passionate about USC. So I started crying and she started crying and then we were laughing at each other and it was just really nice.

I was crying because I loved them so much and they invited me back every day. I was crying because the girl pref'ing me was so sweet and I didn't want to see her leave her chapter even though everyone eventually does. I was crying because I was afraid of bid day.

After the conversations ended, we went into their living room and other seniors in the chapter were reading letters and then they sang songs and it all was just so moving. My friends in the chapter cried and hugged me at the end and I cried again to and they told me everything was gonna be alright.

I left USC happy, scared, confident and content.

Then I had to go to Rutgers.

Rutgers was seriously scaring me because my sister is an initiated member and per national policy, legacies that make it to preference are automatically put on the first bid list. That scaring the living hell out of me.

When I went to Rutgers, a girl I already knew before who was also the Executive Vice President was pref'ing me. Like any other day I visited, it was awkward.

She asked me general questions like how I was doing, how recruitment was going for me but then she started asking me questions that had me very taken aback. She asked: "So do you know what houses you're choosing? Do you know what decision you're gonna make?" I was stunned.

1. Yes. I knew exactly what decision I was going to make.
2. Why the hell was it her business to ask me? I didn't ask her if they knew who they were giving bids to.
3. As an older woman who holds an executive decision, she should know better not to ask a PNM such a question

But besides all of that, I wasn't going to be outwardly rude or tell her what I was going to do because again, it just wasn't her business. So I just replied: "Yeah, i'm pretty sure what i'm gonna do But making my decision might be a little hard." She then was like: "Well, you look conflicted, I can reassure you." She then was talking about the chapter and all the the things they done and awards and competitions they've won and just how close their sisterhood was and how they weren't like the other chapters that were cliquey and didn't have what they had and I was honestly digusted.

They took us to their living room where girls were singing songs about the chapter and in between, she kept saying how conflicted I look and was telling me more about the chapter that I honestly didn't care about and I was just itching to leave and make my preference. I wanted to leave and crawl out of my skin.

When it was finally over, she gave me an awkward hug and said: "Hope I made your decision a lot easier!"

After we visited all of our chapters, we were allowed to do our final preferencing. I looked at the preference card and read the agreement one last time. One of the Rho Gammas asked me if I needed any help or needed anyone to talk to about what I was going to do and in hindsight I kick myself for not listening to her, talking to my own Rho Gamma because maybe things would have been different.

But all I could think of in my mind was the director of sorority and fraternity life saying 88% of the women who maximized their options got their first choice and I remembered the girl in my Rho Gamma group saying the worst mistake she made last year was suiciding. And I remembered what I had read on Greek Chat saying women who suicided were not eligible to be a quota addition of a chapter.

Tha scared me and so I preferenced USC as first and Rutgers as second.

I turned it in feeling confident about my decision and following the rules.

When I left, I saw my friend who had Rutgers and USC just like me and suicided just USC. She said: "Well if I get a call tonight, that means I didn't get a bid and if I don't that means I got one."

After that, I immediately regretted my decision.

Spoiler: She never got the call that night and now is a proud member of USC.

[etadrisophila]

I hope you are writing the final installment of your story - I look forward to reading it.