Dad kills daughter, 16 because she "wanted to be 'free'"

Taualumna · #1 12-12-2007, 09:24 AM

Quote:

She wanted to be like any other teenage girl.

Aqsa Parvez, 16, who died Monday night after being attacked in her Mississauga home, wanted to hang out with friends instead of obeying her 5 p.m. curfew. She wanted to listen to rap, hip hop and R & B, which her parents didn't permit.

When is strict, too strict?

Drolefille · #2 12-12-2007, 10:02 AM

When someone dies because of it.

In all honesty the dad probably thought he was being a good father as she was the youngest of 8 and the others probably had similar rules (although the male-female rules are probably different) so even if she'd grown up with those rules until she turned 18 it's not necesssarily "too strict."

Her murder however is terrible and tragic.

1908Revelations · #3 12-12-2007, 11:00 AM

.....WTF!?!?!

nikki1920 · #4 12-12-2007, 11:08 AM

wow.
What a sad story.

mystikchick · #5 12-12-2007, 11:41 AM

Every time I read one of these stories, I feel so angry, both because it only fuels the perception that immigrants from South Asia are somehow backwards and cling to their barbaric customs such as honor killings (and I'm not for a moment suggesting that behavior like this man's is at all permissible), and anger because the community STILL refuses to acknowledge it, to try and empower its women not to tolerate this kind of abuse, to create support networks and help women escape these situations instead of turning a blind eye. We can only be the change we want to see in the world, nobody else can do it for us, but I don't know when the day will come that the South Asian community finally says 'enough is enough, we need to do something about this problem.'

Taualumna · #6 12-12-2007, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

When someone dies because of it.

In all honesty the dad probably thought he was being a good father as she was the youngest of 8 and the others probably had similar rules (although the male-female rules are probably different) so even if she'd grown up with those rules until she turned 18 it's not necesssarily "too strict."

Her murder however is terrible and tragic.

You know, it's quite possible that she'd have to live with these rules even after she turned 18. With a dad like that, it would have not been likely that she'd be allowed to go away to school.

AlphaFrog · #7 12-12-2007, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taualumna

You know, it's quite possible that she'd have to live with these rules even after she turned 18. With a dad like that, it would have not been likely that she'd be allowed to go away to school.

This took place in Canada, and I'm not familar with Canada's laws, but I thought that 18 was still the age of "adulthood" - she may not have been "allowed" to go away for school, but there wouldn't have been anything her dad could have done to stop her at that point. The article said she had lived in a shelter, so obviously, she would have done what it takes to get out on her own, even if that means being homeless.

Taualumna · #8 12-12-2007, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

This took place in Canada, and I'm not familar with Canada's laws, but I thought that 18 was still the age of "adulthood" - she may not have been "allowed" to go away for school, but there wouldn't have been anything her dad could have done to stop her at that point. The article said she had lived in a shelter, so obviously, she would have done what it takes to get out on her own, even if that means being homeless.

Many of the girls killed by parents or relatives were adults over 18 years of age. In any case, when you live with your parents, whether you're 6 or 46, you're still a "child" to them and live by "their rules." Even if she lived in a shelter, it's quite possible that someone can find her, especially if she's going to school. Many immigrant communities are very tight-knit.

Velocity_14 · #9 12-12-2007, 01:32 PM

This is just ridiculous!!!

AlphaFrog · #10 12-12-2007, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taualumna

Many of the girls killed by parents or relatives were adults over 18 years of age. In any case, when you live with your parents, whether you're 6 or 46, you're still a "child" to them and live by "their rules." Even if she lived in a shelter, it's quite possible that someone can find her, especially if she's going to school. Many immigrant communities are very tight-knit.

You're missing my point. It's possible that if she made it to 18, she would have taken off, full speed ahead - possibly to another provence on the other side of the country, and never looked back, and there would have been nothing her dad could have done to stop her.

sageofages · #11 12-12-2007, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

You're missing my point. It's possible that if she made it to 18, she would have taken off, full speed ahead - possibly to another provence on the other side of the country, and never looked back, and there would have been nothing her dad could have done to stop her.

right...but her *brother* tricked her into coming home for a change of clothes!!!!!! This was all premeditated! Her brother should be charged as well.

It is all about family "honor" and what constitutes disgrace. How killing your willful daughter restores family honor and removes disgrace is beyond me...

AlphaFrog · #12 12-12-2007, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sageofages

right...but her *brother* tricked her into coming home for a change of clothes!!!!!! This was all premeditated! Her brother should be charged as well.

I'm not sure why you quoted me, since this still has nothing to do with leaving with the intent of never returning, but since you did...

Where did you get the idea that her brother tricked her, and that the murder was premeditated? Her brother might not have been acting under direction from the father, and you can't tell either way from the article. Also, if the murder was premeditated, the father probably wouldn't have called 911.

1908Revelations · #13 12-12-2007, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sageofages

It is all about family "honor" and what constitutes disgrace. How killing your willful daughter restores family honor and removes disgrace is beyond me...

I totally agree! How can a parent think discipline goes to the point of death. So if you do not obey I will kill you. How about kicking them out of the house if it is too bad. I am still looking like

about this story.

sageofages · #14 12-12-2007, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I'm not sure why you quoted me, since this still has nothing to do with leaving with the intent of never returning, but since you did...

Where did you get the idea that her brother tricked her, and that the murder was premeditated? Her brother might not have been acting under direction from the father, and you can't tell either way from the article. Also, if the murder was premeditated, the father probably wouldn't have called 911.

If she had left with the intent to never return, why did she return to her house with her brother? Her brother brought her back to the house to "get a change of clothes", ok, granted he was acting on his father's request.

from an article: http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/14831144/detail.html

""“She got threatened by her father and her brother,” Dominiquia Holmes-Thompson told the newsaper. “He said that if she leaves, he would kill her.”""

Still that makes the meeting at the house "prearranged", does it not? Her father called 911 AFTER the assault resulting in death had occurred. She was apparently strangled or beaten. Either instance *someone* else has to inflict the injuries resulting in death.

I still don't understand how killing your daughter restores family honor.

AlphaFrog · #15 12-12-2007, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sageofages

If she had left with the intent to never return, why did she return to her house with her brother? Her brother brought her back to the house to "get a change of clothes", ok, granted he was acting on his father's request.

I DON'T think she had the intent never to return.