"Say Something Ketchuppy II" contest, or "The perfect match for a weenie."

[hoosier]

Submitted With Relish
The H.J. Heinz Co. has announced its "Say Something Ketchuppy II" contest:

Sometimes our label gets tired of saying "Tomato Ketchup" all of the time. We received a huge response from our first talking label contest, and now our ketchup is begging for more of your ideas. So make a joke about french fries or have some fun at the expense of mustard. Once again it is time to send your funny phrase (8 words or less, please) and the best ones will be featured on our front label in stores across the country.

Earlier winners include "Easier to spell than Worcestershire" and "Seeking employment in your kitchen."

Opinion Journal comments:

But we got to thinking: Why not a slogan that pays homage to Teresa Heinz Kerry, the outspoken ketchup heiress and philanthropist?

"Shove it onto your plate" has possibilities, and "Don't let your food go naked" is promising. But the one we like best is "The perfect match for a weenie."

[hoosier]

Here are our favorites:

• "Only an idiot would use mustard."
• "Our flavor is stronger at home and respected in the world."
• "Foreign leaders prefer ketchup."
• "Ketchup: C'est magnifique."
• "The taste that's smeared--smeared--in your memory."
• "For your papases fritas, your pommes frites, your patate fritte and your fritadas francesas."
• "Mustard: The wrong condiment in the wrong place at the wrong time."
• "By the way, served in your kitchen."
• "Too good for the common man."
• "Hunt's is for scumbags."
• "It's red, like the blood John Kerry spilled in Vietnam."

- Opinion Journal

[hoosier]

• "One drop is enough for three Purple Hearts."

• "New and improved flip-flop top."

• "Guldens lied, burgers died."

This reminds us of a little joke: John Kerry and George W. Bush are running, and Kerry falls behind in the polls. Teresa hits Kerry over the head, crushing him, and says, "Ketchup!"