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Old 07-22-2004, 07:35 PM
SMU GRRL SMU GRRL is offline
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Sophomore Rush?

I have a question.

I am a sophomore and am considering rushing... again.

I rushed in January and the sorority houses that I felt most at "home" I got cut the night before pref night. So, I cancelled my rush. The houses I had left were okay but I knew that if I didn't have my heart in something, I didn't want to commit to it forever! And I did not feel like these houses were the 'place' for me. I do not regret that I did not continue my rush. Because, I would have probably joined one that I was not like the other girls.. I even got a bid after I quit. And no, I declined. The house just wasn't for me.

I am not from the south, am not a legacy, and had only one rec for each of the sororities. My school is very competitive and I tried to prepare as much as I could but I guess I didn't enough. Obviously, I was very, very upset because I didn't think the girls knew me enough. Because, I think that if a few of the houses at least knew me more that I would have not gotten cut. I am pretty (not to be concieted), confident and fun!

My some of my girlfriends who rushed these houses I liked tell me all the time to rush (haha, for their sororities of course) but I don't know if they would have a lot of input. I know a handful (5-10) of the girls who pledged these sororities (including some of my friends) and wonder if that could make a difference.

The only issue is that I do not know if sophomores (especially those who have gone through rush before) are looked down upon. I am planning on contacting the sororities that some of my friends are in, that I want to be in and wanted to join this past January... to meet a woman (or two.. or three) to write me recs. What is your advice you can give me on this? We do not have informal rush for the houses I want to rush.

I totally missed out on the great parties that I had been going to all first semester when it was all pledge events. And no, I didn't do something terrible to wreck my reputation. I want to be able to have a ton of girls to lean back on, go out with, live with, and always have a great connection with (through the sorority!)- But, rush week was really stressful and I don't know if I can do it all over again only to be in this same situation again.

Darlings, help! This girl need some direction..

Last edited by SMU GRRL; 07-22-2004 at 07:42 PM.
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Old 07-22-2004, 08:12 PM
astroAPhi astroAPhi is offline
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Are there any COB opportunities this next semester on campus? Maybe that would give the sororities you liked a better chance to get to know you without all the pressure of Formal Recruitment.
alpha phi
My love's the ivy, my love's forget-me-nots, my love's the silver and bordeaux.

TKE Omicron Nu Chapter Sweetheart 2003
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Old 07-22-2004, 08:19 PM
SMU GRRL SMU GRRL is offline
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What's COB?
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Old 07-22-2004, 08:31 PM
JeJe JeJe is offline
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If it's meant to be, it will all come together! I missed formal recruitment (rush) my incoming freshman semester. Then I messed up my grades and didn't qualify for a few semesters to even rush again. I was miserable and mad at myself for it. Well, last semester I finally have everything going good for me again and went through cob (continuous open bidding/ informal recruitment). I got in as a junior! Have faith! I think you should absolutely do it again! This go round you'll be more prepared and more enthusiastic than ever.
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Old 07-22-2004, 09:13 PM
texas*princess texas*princess is offline
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I definitely think you should give it another shot. You don't have anything to lose right? Just something to gain. Plus, you have the advantage of already knowing what to expect during recruitment week if you decide to wait until January rush to come around again. I'm near SMU (if it's Southern Methodist you're talking about), but not near enough to really know the dynamics of the Greek Life there, but I would highly doubt sophomores would be "looked down upon". But you do need to realize that sometimes certain houses will tend to extend more bids to freshman. Like I said, I don't really know the greek culture there, so that last statement might not even apply to your school. I know at my school, we even have a few upperclassmen that go through recruitment and get placed in the process... but at other more highly competitve schools upperclassmen going through recruitment are few and far between.

From the sound of your post, it sounds like there are only certain houses you want to join for whatever your reasons, and I could be wrong, but if you limit yourself to only those houses, you have a chance of going home with nothing.

I'm sure there are countless women .. maybe even on this board... who did not get their top choice, or the top house on their campus, but later found out that the sorority they joined turned out being right for them, so it all worked out.

So I personally would say to go into recruitment with an open mind.... or, attend COR/COB (continuous open recruitment/bidding) events for sororities that may have those opportunities in the Fall. Who knows? Maybe you'll find a match! And COR/COB does not obligate you to join any house, it is merely an informal way of meeting the sisters of the sororities. The advantage of COR/COB is that nothing is timed.. you're not talking to one sister for 5 minutes and another for another 5 minutes. It's relaxed, and usually COR/COB events are fun events like ice skating or bowling or whatever the chapter decides to do.. which in my book beats getting all dressed up, hiking to the different houses, and worrying about all the stuff that comes with structured recruitment.

If anything, attending COR/COB events will let you get more aquainted with the chapter whether or not you decide to accept a bid if you are given one.

Sometimes formal recruitment is so fast paced.. it's really hard to actually get to know the chapters, as it is hard for the chapters to really get to know the pnms, so sometimes either slip through the cracks.

Last edited by texas*princess; 07-22-2004 at 09:17 PM.
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Old 07-22-2004, 09:15 PM
PhiMuLady150 PhiMuLady150 is offline
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I am somewhat familar with SMU'S system, if you wanna PM me
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Old 07-22-2004, 09:36 PM
_Lisa_ _Lisa_ is offline
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I rushed as a freshman & a sophomore. It was at two different schools but I had no reservation rushing for a second time. The first time I went through formal rush (I even COB'd the second semester) nothing felt right. When I transferred schools I felt that it was necessary to find a home, just like I hope you do!
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Old 07-23-2004, 10:54 PM
pinkniki50 pinkniki50 is offline
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I rushed again as a sophomore and it was a great decision. I was so desperate to fit in (not saying this was your case!) my freshman year that I had a very closed mind and would only give a few houses the time of day. Of course, I ended up getting cut from those houses and the ones that were left, I didn't feel anything. I was calling my parents crying every night. However, I still accepted a bid and spent the entire Bid Day crying my eyes out (I kept telling the girls they were "tears of joy" but they knew I was lying). I decided not to go through with it a few days later and spent the next year figuring things out about myself and what I wanted and I am so glad I got that time. Going into recruitment the second time, I knew what to expect and I knew who I was and was very proud of it. The second time around, I enjoyed myself (and only cried to my parents once ) and had a completely different rush. I was asked back to different houses that I didn't think were "me" and fell in love with three that I had never expected. Fortunately (it didn't seem so at the time), I got cut from two of them and from that point on, I knew where to go. I am so thankful that these girls gave me a second chance because this house has given me so much.
Also, don't be worried about the girls judging you a little bit harsher than everyone else because this is your second time round. If they ask why you are rushing again, answer honestly and be true to yourself. The second time around will be different from the first and you will end up where you are meant to be. It just takes some of us longer to find it. Good luck! I wish you the best!
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Old 07-24-2004, 02:29 AM
Shima-Mizu Shima-Mizu is offline
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We had 7 sororities at my school the semester I rushed, though at the end of the semester, we were down to 6...

Anyway, when I went through formal recruitment, the first night we go to all 7, the next day we cut one, or get cut by whoever didn't want us back. I got invited back to every single chapter except the one that I had originally been going through rush again. I decided to tough it out though and went to the next 6 parties. What was really rough here is that this time, we were supposed to go from 6 down to 4. I got cut by 4 though, so I ended up with a list of 2. I saw my list and was ready to drop recruitment. My Rho Gamma spent 20-30 minutes convincing me not and how these girls must have seen something really special in me. I only spent half that night at parties, while most other girls went to a total of 4... The night after that was pref night, and those same two houses invited me back. By pref night I already knew where I belonged though, because the previous night, the day I had been so bummed about getting cut so much, when I was talking to the girls at Kappa, I started asking them about fall informal recruitment and if it would be a bad thing to drop, and instead of trying to gloss things over they gave me real honest answers, and due to that, I really appreciated them for it, and it made me feel like they were genuine caring sisters for me.

So while I went to 2 again for pref, I suicided Kappa because by then I knew it was them or the highway and back to waiting for the fall.

On that note though: Plenty of them told me that there was nothing wrong with waiting until the fall and that it can even be less stressful. Had they not made me fall so much in love with them that night, I probably would have taken that fact and just waited until fall.
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Old 07-24-2004, 06:47 AM
EEKappa EEKappa is offline
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My friend Nina had a situation similar to yours. She had been her high school's homecoming queen, was a twirler, and was a genuinely beautiful and nice person too! Going through rush as a freshman, she wanted Kappa but was cut right before prefs so she dropped out of rush.

Fast forward a year: Nina went through rush as a sophomore, and now many sophomores in each chapter already knew and loved her. She wasn't cut by any groups, had her pick of sororities, and pledged Kappa. She went on to be our President her senior year.

Greek systems differ from school to school, so it's hard to say if SMU will have a negative view of sophomores going through recruitment. You are on the right track by making sure that you are better prepared with recommendations this time around, and you've had a year to see what the groups are like 24/7.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide!

Kappa Kappa Gamma

Tradition of Leadership

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Old 07-24-2004, 09:51 AM
qteasied qteasied is offline
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I had been wondering the same thing. Formal rush didn't work out for me, so I'm planning to rush informally in the fall as a sophomore. Freshmen in my school aren't allowed to rush until second semester, so I knew that my sophomore status won't matter in the fall. I was just afraid that if I'm rushing again, that would make me look bad. Last rush, I got asked back to 4 sororities the first day, then 1 the second, and got cut from that one the day before Bid Day. I went COB to ZY, but didn't asked back. I'm kinda glad I didn't because I don't think I'd fit in there anyway, although they're really nice girls and I'm not bitter about it. I really liked another chapter that I got cut from the first day, so in the fall I'm going to their parties, as well as three or four others. I don't know yet.

Sorry for the long post. I'm rushing again because most of my friends are transferring, and I want to get to know more people. If you can make some sense of my post, you can PM me or reply or whatever.

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Old 07-27-2004, 02:51 AM
AXOhottie AXOhottie is offline
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At my school, we have deferred formal recruitment. I went through as a freshman. I was so intimidated by the process that I wasn't myself. I was extremely quiet and reserved (which generally is not me at all). I actually ended up getting dropped. While I was upset because I felt rejected, I had been confused anyway and wasn't sure if the process was right for me. When formal recruitment rolled around the next year, I had seriously thought about it, and I felt that there was something missing in my life. So I decided to go through formal recruitment again. I knew what to expect, and I just felt more comfortable being myself. I had so much more fun the second time around. Where before I was confused and didn't know what I wanted, this time I found I house where I felt at home.

I was not the only person to go through recruitment for a second time. There were probably about 10 other girls who had gone through recruitment the previous year. Sometimes things happen and you don't always get what you want when you want it. I think that if you are still interested in joining a sorority, you should go through recruitment. It may be a completely different situation this time around. The houses may have changed-- you may have changed. I would not let your age dictate whether you go through recruitment. Deciding to go through formal recruitment again was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made.

If you do decide to go through recruitment again, keep an open mind about every house. You may have preconceived notions about what each house is like. However, each house may have changed within the last year into something you may or may not like. If you enter recruitment with an open mind and and open heart, I'm sure you'll find a house where you fit and that makes you happy. Good luck!
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Old 07-27-2004, 11:34 AM
SMU GRRL SMU GRRL is offline
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Thanks for all your input! It has really been a help.

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Old 07-28-2004, 11:51 PM
dzsaigirl dzsaigirl is offline
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I went to SMU as a freshman and for the first semester of sophomore year. I did not rush, but my roomie did. She was in the same situation you were.

I know that SMU does have informal rush for upperclassmen because, since I had not rushed freshman year, I got phone calls the next fall inviting me out to dinner, coffee, etc.

The groups that have open spots can choose to fill them with upperclassmen in the fall. Not every group will be in this situation. Do not be disappionted if your favorite group does not participate. It means they don't have room.

I would STRONGLY suggest participating in the informal fall rush because I can tell you that many of the sororities there will cut you right away in formal rush either because you are a sophomore or because they feel like they met you last time and will stick to their decision. They WILL remember that you rushed. That kind of straightforward answer probably won't be popular on this website, but you deserve to know.

That being said, I feel that the group that is right for you will WANT you. I know that SMU sororities have very defined social strata. That is what made me NOT want to rush there. I am a legacy, both to a sorority on that campus AND to the school itself. Sorority life did not appeal to me while I was there, but once I transferred, I gave it a try and liked it...anyway, I'm kind of off the point here.

All I can say is, go through one more time at informal. If you feel like you are friends with the girls in a chapter and you like what they stand for, then wear those letters proudly. Don't worry about who has more girls invited to FIJI crush or whatever...this is about lifelong friends.

Hope that helped.
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Old 07-28-2004, 11:57 PM
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Originally posted by JeJe
If it's meant to be, it will all come together! I missed formal recruitment (rush) my incoming freshman semester. Then I messed up my grades and didn't qualify for a few semesters to even rush again. I was miserable and mad at myself for it. Well, last semester I finally have everything going good for me again and went through cob (continuous open bidding/ informal recruitment). I got in as a junior! Have faith! I think you should absolutely do it again! This go round you'll be more prepared and more enthusiastic than ever.
Let's hear it for the older girls!!!
I too COB'd as a junior & have never looked back. I'm glad I did & wouldn't change it for the world.
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