Formal Recruitment Suicide??? - Page 4

carnation · #46 06-16-2002, 05:11 PM

Suiciding--a good topic to discuss in the couple of months before rush!! Should you or shouldn't you? Did you or didn't you?

hannahgirl · #47 06-16-2002, 05:45 PM

When I came through in the Fall of 99....we were given the decision to suicide or not. We were never told not to, but we were all aware of what would happen if we suicided and did not get extended a bid to that chapter. I think that I spent a good 15 minutes trying to decide what to do. I had went to pref at DG and ADPi that day. So it was really between them. I knew from the moment I began rush that I wanted to be a DG but I kept running it through my head. However, I decided that I would suicide DG because I knew that was where I wanted to be. Of course now....I am a DG and I love every minute of it and wouldn't have changed my choice at all back then.
My advice to PNMs would be to do what they want....I did. Whether it is suicide the chapter they really want to be in or be happy with a chapter that they put down as second choice. It is their decision and theirs only.

BTW.....I'm sure everyone knows this but just a reminder that the name PX is not to be used anymore. It is to be Recruitment Counselor or something else. We have changed it to Rho Gamma at Akron. Has anyone else changed theirs??

xok85xo · #48 06-16-2002, 06:21 PM

I suicided chi-o, by the time it got to pref night i knew it was chi-o or nothing, i didn't want to take the chance of putting down chi omega and another house and getting the other house when i really wanted to be a chi omega...i HAD to be a chi omega..there would be no other way, i figured it would be all or nothing, i wasn't going to settle. So i took the risk, and luckily..it worked out

Just a sidenote- I knew almost nothing about the rush process when i went through, i didn't know that if you didn't get a bid they would call you so needless to say i was still a complete wreck of 'did i or didn't i' right before they took me into the room to give me my bid

SATX*APhi · #49 06-16-2002, 06:39 PM

I went through informal recruitment, so this was not an option for me. At my school, though, the Rho Chi's discourage suicide bidding. The Rho Chi's do not even discuss this option unless a PNM brings it up. At my campus, the main focus is to recruit a girl to go Greek, not to recruit girls for a particular sorority.

I do know of three girls who went through formal recruitment (who did not know each other at the time) and wanted to join Alpha Phi. We were their first choice and they put another sorority as their second choice (which was the same sorority). I do not know what happened, but we ended up not giving these two awesome girls a bid and they bid matched with their second choice.

These girls became really close after joining the other sorority. One of my sisters used to room with one of the girls and in several of their late night discussions, the other girl would tell my sister that she wished she would have suicided and tried to join A-Phi during informal recruitment. She also told my sister that the other girls wished they had waited also. Although we missed out on three great girls, there was no changing the decision that we made or that they made. Ironically, two of these girls have been president of their sorority. They have embraced what they joined. Although they may have regrets, they do love their sorority.

carnation · #50 06-16-2002, 09:07 PM

Valdosta State will have Gamma Chis this year instead of Rho Chis.

Many years ago, the rush counselors said nothing about suiciding--if you did, it was fine with Panhellenic, I suppose. We weren't required to attend a certain number of parties, either. If you wanted to go with one sorority out of 14 from day one--fine. Auburn being what it is, I'm sure that some did exactly that.

Actually, I did a form of that from about the middle of rush. I took stock of the groups I had left and then cut everybody except Pi Phi and Kappa. Years later, I realized that I probably would've been happy in about 4 of the groups I cut but thank God that rush ended happily for me.

PNMs, please don't do that! Nobody is saying that you have to pledge a group you don't like, but please give each group every chance you can! And I hope to heaven that my PNM daughters don't read this thread and try to copy the dumb thing I did.

AGDLynn · #51 06-16-2002, 10:12 PM

GC's at Valdosta? Coincidence?? lol

Carnation, out of all the PNMs, your 2 I would definitely bet money that they don't sucide!

AlphaGam1019 · #52 06-16-2002, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AGDLynn
GC's at Valdosta? Coincidence?? lol

yeah, I had to snicker at that one.

AOX81 · #53 06-17-2002, 08:17 AM

I went to a school with a fairly small Greek system (less than 1%) so most of the girls ended up where they wanted to be. We have had a few occasions where girls got "screwed" during bid matching and then view the Greek system negatively.

We strongly encourage the girls to ONLY put down the sororities that they can see themselves with. We only have 3 sororities on our campus so quota is usually under 10.

I always use our sorority as an example to the rushees and tell them if you can't see yourself with AOX don't put us on your bid card. You have to go with your gut feeling. We want the girls to join the right sorority...even if it isn't ours.

FuzzieAlum · #54 06-17-2002, 12:21 PM

Rush counselors pretty much have to say "don't suicide - here are the dangers of it" - because that's Panhellenic's official stand, and they are representing Panhellenic.

Was my school unique in using young alums as Rho Chis instead of undergrads?

And to the guys who are confused and don't like our system - yes, it is confusing, but most of us like it better than your system. With formal rush at least every girl gets to explore all the choices the campus has to offer her. She knows what she is choosing. With the fraternities, most guys go to only a few houses (we had 17 total) - how are they sure they are in the right place for them? It's different strokes for different folks, I guess, and we like our system well enough for now.

RedHotChiO · #55 06-17-2002, 02:01 PM

I have a question that I would like to pose. How do y'all feel about chapters that give bids to girls that have suicided? I mean, if the girl has suicided and has been rejected, doesn't that put her in a really vulnerable position? It happens a lot on my campus with the other sorority. Does your school have rules against this?

33girl · #56 06-17-2002, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedHotChiO
I have a question that I would like to pose. How do y'all feel about chapters that give bids to girls that have suicided? I mean, if the girl has suicided and has been rejected, doesn't that put her in a really vulnerable position? It happens a lot on my campus with the other sorority. Does your school have rules against this?

Do you mean, if she suicides ABC and XYZ gives her a snap bid?

It's one thing if the girl is someone XYZ really liked and for some reason they didn't end up at the top of each others' lists. It's another thing if XYZ is just trying to get their numbers up and goes around to all the girls who didn't get bids "preying" on them. If the latter happens, I would wager they'll have a very high pledge dropout rate if the girls just joined in the heat of the moment.

FuzzieAlum · #57 06-17-2002, 02:40 PM

The chapters don't know who has suicided, unless someone tells them they did. Bidmatching is supposed to be a pretty secret process - it's not anyone's business who I put down on my card, which choice I got, or who the sororities wanted most.

ilovemyglo · #58 06-17-2002, 02:47 PM

At my school suiciding is actually normal. We always get 2-3 suicides for each house. The rho chis discourage it, dont get me wrong.. but some of those women are wonderful sisters.
We have had sisters that suicided other sororities join us through COB and they have never regretted it!
I personally suicided my prefs. I know I could remove names of sororities from those inviting me, but I also knew I didnt want to be anything but an Alpha Gam. So at the other parties I politely told the women that I thought I had found my home and I didn't think it was with their sisters. None of them were sad for me or mad or upset, they were all genuinely happy that I thought so much of that one chapter. So the next day the only house that invited me back was AGD. I didn't want to spend time at another party and take up space where someone else that WANTED to be there could have been! So, I ended up suiciding my bid card too. The next day it was AGD.
We had a girl join this year that wanted to suicide us but her rho chi was from our BIGGEST rival and told her she had to put down her other pref parties somewhere. When her rho chi showed up the next day the girl told her that if she didn't have a bid for Alpha Gam then to go away (of course she did!!!) but then went on to tell her if she had a bid from XYZ (which was the rho chi's sorority) she would rather her burn it. SO the rho chi threw it on the ground and stamped on it as she walked away. That made for an interesting topic!!!
I don't think that suiciding is for everyone, though!
I was a sophomore when I went through rush, and I pretty much had it narrowed down to two houses when I signed up. One was the popular pretty girl house (in the view of non greeks) and the other was the largest chapter on campus. I ended up not wanting to be a part of them and found my home in AGD only AFTER i visited them. I didn't really know alot about them when I joined.
So in the end I think it works out for everyone except for those rushees who get cross cut. I hope they find homes too!

Oh and 33girl, my house snap bids anyone that we have found to be a suitable sister, including women that suicided other houses and we have a 99% Initiation rate for the past 4 years. Some girls are, (for lack of a better word) really DUMB about sororities until they see them outside of rush!

xok85xo · #59 06-17-2002, 02:53 PM

how can you snap bid a PNM who suicides? From my understanding from the bidmatching workshop i had to attend as a member of the recruitment team, that you can only snap bid after the PNM does not match with a house, she is not on your chapter's bid list, but she puts your org down on her pref card and you have not made quota yet?

RedHotChiO · #60 06-17-2002, 03:19 PM

I'm not sure what you are asking xok85xo. What 33girl described is usually what happens at our school. The greek system at our school is relatively small. We only have three sororities. For some reason, most of the rushees are pretty vocal when they are suiciding...so we know. So we also know when the other sorority picks them up after they wanted to join another sorority.