Informal recruitment questions.

jordang312 · #1 05-08-2010, 05:16 PM

Hi! I am currently a Sophomore and am interested in informal recruitment. I have gone through formal recruitment, but did not find a home. I felt like during formal recruitment (because I'm not super familiar with sorority life, etc.) a lot of things happened that I didn't understand and everything was so "mysterious" that I felt it wasn't explained to me well enough. But, I am interested in joining a sorority on campus and don't want my feelings hurt a second time. I don't know what I did wrong the last time, but I'm trying to identify it. I know my grades couldn't have been the issue, I developed a rapport with all the girls I talked to, I dressed nicely and I made sure to ask all about each sorority to let them know how interested I was. But, after the second day I only had 3 parties to go to. I was dumbfounded because I didn't know what I had done wrong. Instead of resorting to cruel tactics like the other girls, I was nice to the 3 sororities that invited me back. But, 1 of the sororities I had no interest in joining for personal reasons which I won't disclose. The 2nd sorority house (which is the one I am now interested in joining for informal recruitment) was nice. I just couldn't see myself there at the time. Plus, I hate to say this, but this sorority didn't have the best GPA and I let that stand in the way of my decision. (During formal recruitment, I think I did the wrong thing when I tried to decide which sorority I wanted by how "good" or "bad" they looked on paper). After meeting many of the girls from the 2nd sorority and forming friendships with them during the school year (and meeting their sisters informally), I feel that I would be able to have fun and be REAL friends with them. But, as for the 3rd house, I was actually excited about going back to this house (it was 1 of the ones I liked the most). Sadly, I found out that they had the most exorbitant fees out of all 7 of the houses which I know my family could not pay. So, I decided to leave the recruitment process. But, as to my questions...
What could I have done wrong? Does informal recruitment sound like a good idea? What criteria do they use to determine eligibility into the sorority during COB? Any other tid-bits of information would help. Thank you very much!

33girl · #2 05-08-2010, 05:22 PM

Did you bother asking the expensive house about a payment plan?

Saying you "just couldn't see yourself" at one sorority and that you didn't want to return to another for "personal reasons" sounds like you didn't keep a truly open mind. This will usually result in disappointment during rush.

Informal recruitment is over for the school year. If you want to rush again, you will need to go through formal rush next fall, unless there's a chapter far under total that is recruiting on a more or less continuous basis.

Do you have recommendations for all of the sororities? If not, and if you plan to rush again, get them IMMEDIATELY.

jordang312 · #3 05-08-2010, 05:33 PM

They offered me a payment plan. But, I explained to them no matter how they diced it up I couldn't pay the end result. It was just too much. When I went into recruitment, my mother told me she would only be willing to pay "x" amount. And the sorority that I was interested in was above and beyond what my mother said she's pay. So, I knew it wasn't an option. As to the reason I wouldn't join for personal reasons, I have bad history with several of the girls in it and find myself uncomfortable around them and don't see myself being happy.
And yes, I'll admit that I was closed minded during formal recruitment by just wanting to joining the sororities that had good gpas. But, I have friends that are currently in the sorority that I am interested in joining who have expressed interest in me (the 2nd one). I don't care about the low gpa, because I've met with them and gone out with them and have had fun. I just want to make sure I don't do anything wrong or commit some faux pas because I'm unfamiliar with Greek life. That's all.

jordang312 · #4 05-08-2010, 05:43 PM

That's one of the "mysterious" things I was talking about earlier. When I was applying for formal recruitment, it said that recs were optional. Only until after the whole process was over did someone tell me how important the recs were. If someone told me they were a necessity in the process i would have gotten them.  <br>

KSUViolet06 · #5 05-08-2010, 06:01 PM

As far as determining who receives a bid and how that works, each sorority has its own private membership selection process. So don't think the girls are deliberately trying to be "mysterious" if you ask and they can't tell you. It's not something they can speak about with potential members.

jordang312 · #6 05-08-2010, 06:15 PM

I know they can't discuss how they pick and choose who is in and who is not. But, I assume there are certain standards they want in PNM's? Like they don't want someone with a bad reputation, etc. I just don't know if there are any particular definite "no-no's" that I should avoid. Besides Boys, Bars and Booze. <br>

KSUViolet06 · #7 05-08-2010, 06:18 PM

See this thread:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=30758

jordang312 · #8 05-08-2010, 06:25 PM

Thanks for the thread

Haha. I'll avoid all that. Why would you think it kosher to talk about stealing stuff? Some people make you wonder.

AOII Angel · #9 05-08-2010, 07:47 PM

Well, Jordan, it sounds like the first thing you did wrong is not get recs. I suggest you remedy that. Secondly, you've made friends in one of the sororities you are interested in...that's a start. Realize, HOWEVER, that this does NOT guarantee you a spot in that chapter. Go through recruitment with an open mind. Your second mistake in recruitment was your refusal to keep an open mind about the process. Even having girls in a chapter who have a history with you does not mean that a chapter is off limits to you. You'll always have girls in your chapter that don't get along with you. It's a fact of life. In the end, no one can guarantee that you won't get your feelings hurt again. Anytime you put yourself out there, hurt feelings are always a possibility. But if you don't try, you'll never have a chance! Good luck!

jordang312 · #10 05-08-2010, 08:44 PM

Thank you very much! I'm going back with an open mind and I understand that no one is ever a shoe-in. I can see myself there having fun, but I am prepared if it doesn't happen. I won't put all my eggs in one basket. But, the informal process, from what my friends told me is different than other colleges. They don't have registration and specific events. It's nothing I can sign up for. It's even more "informal" than informal recruitment. They take the PNM's out to lunch one day and another day have them come to the house. But, you have to be asked back to each day. I believe it's over the period of 2 weeks or so. But, it's different than what I've been reading on the forum.

qbt1990 · #11 05-08-2010, 09:18 PM

I just want to add that just because a chapter has an overall lower GPA doesn't mean every single girl has a low GPA. In many larger chapters (I'm not sure how large the chapters are at your school) you'll find girls across the board as far as academics are concerned. It sounds like you aren't really worried about this anymore, which is good, I just wanted to clarify.
PS when does informal take place??

jordang312 · #12 05-08-2010, 09:43 PM

Informal takes place this upcoming spring. I'm excited

After meeting the girls in it, GPA isn't everything to me anymore. Mainly, when I first went through recruitment I based what sorority I wanted on GPA, dues, commitment level, etc. I felt that I sort of distanced myself. I looked at them on paper and not at the girls themselves. I know I was wrong to do that. I know better now after meeting them. Thank you!

qbt1990 · #13 05-08-2010, 09:54 PM

It sounds like you have a good mindset now, best of luck to you

jordang312 · #14 05-08-2010, 10:17 PM

Thanks!

violetpretty · #15 05-08-2010, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jordang312

Informal takes place this upcoming spring. I'm excited

After meeting the girls in it, GPA isn't everything to me anymore. Mainly, when I first went through recruitment I based what sorority I wanted on GPA, dues, commitment level, etc. I felt that I sort of distanced myself. I looked at them on paper and not at the girls themselves. I know I was wrong to do that. I know better now after meeting them. Thank you!

Am I to assume that formal recruitment is in the fall and you're not going to try again with that? Are you a rising sophomore or rising junior?

Also, about dues: is expensive chapter really much more expensive than the others? Their dues/fees might be more inclusive, whereas the "cheaper" ones might have more events/teeshirts/etc "a la carte", so you might want to inquire about what the listed dues cover for each chapter so you're comparing apples to apples.