Mizzou Recruitment

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by NorthernMom

I really don't want to argue. I hate this concept of "top" and "bottom". My daughter is not in what some would say is a "top" house by any stretch. I'm not sure who feels the need to subscribe to this sort of caste system. Just because a house has an overall higher GPA doesn't mean it's tops in everyone's book. And just because a house has a lower GPA point, also doesn't mean it's not desirable to girls. I understand that there are definitely girls who do come with with the "top" and "bottom" mentality. And when the perceived elite chapters drop them, they run for the hills. But again, I don't know that is what was being asked here, and I hate for someone to get jumped on. In the end, fit is not all about elitism for all girls.

If you get through Pref and still don't feel like you could make it work, so be it. Being Greek didn't work out for you and that is disappointing.

If you drop before going through Pref round, I don't have a ton of sympathy for you.

If you drop before preference, then you don't have all of the information available to you. You've met a handful of women in any oneorganization. You still have 1-2 parties and an opportunity to meet some more, if you just take the time to go the parties. We see too many PNMs who are sure that they don't fit with a chapter and then meet their new BFF at the last round before Pref or who go to Pref and end up changing their mind because the Pref party showed them a sisterhood that they didn't fully appreciate before. If you don't hang in there for the whole process, you are short-changing yourself.

[pbear19]

Just a note to my fellow long-time GCers:

Mizzou has a major problem with recruitment retention. Nearly ONE THIRD of all PNMs who registered this year chose to drop out or didn't maximize their options and ended up without a bid.

ONE THIRD. 547 women to be precise.

I am the last person to ever excuse dropping early. It breaks my heart every time, because I see what kind of amazing experience these women are giving up on. But, please know that making a few moms or PNMs feel bad about it after the fact is not going to even scratch the surface of the problem.

Also, the COB opportunities at Mizzou are pretty good, compared to other SEC schools. Do the "top tier" COB? Not really. But a lot of chapters do. Last spring, thanks to some retention issues and (in my personal, unverified opinion) some incorrect reporting of pre-recruitment chapter size, 12 out of 15 chapters either did COB or were eligible to COB. Not all of them did, but it just goes to show that there are potential opportunities.

I am NOT trying to blow smoke up anyone's nether regions. COB is hard. Only a tiny fraction of those 547 women will have a chance. Especially since a number of COB women will not have even signed up for formal recruitment at all, so the pool is bigger than that.

Moms and PNMs, it is very true that you need to accept that the chapters you weren't "comfortable" with are likely to be the ones doing COB at some point this year. Some chapters may take 5 or fewer women in COB. It is not easy, and it is not a guarantee. It is also hard for sophomores to go through recruitment and have better results the second year, although it is not unheard of. Especially if there are significant improvements in grades!!

Stay out of trouble. Stay out of any bad-news scandals, especially this week when everything is a little crazy on campus. Focus on grades. Be a decent human being to every single sorority woman you meet. They do talk amongst themselves and being nice only to ABC and not to XYZ could be a deal-breaker. Register with PHA, but don't think that filling out a form is enough, because it probably isn't. You need to get to know the women in those chapters that invited you back, and decide for yourself if you really want to be greek or not. There is not a bad chapter on this campus.

What happened last week happened, and there is no changing that at this point. Tent talk, peer pressure, etc etc etc are all pretty bad and dropping can often seem like the best choice in the moment. Now that the decision has been made, for good or ill, just focus on moving forward, whether that be as a greek woman (eventually) or unaffiliated.

Off my soapbox. Again, congrats to all who had a successful recruitment week. Best wishes to those interested in COB, I truly hope it works out. I know I have some unanswered PMs and I have not forgotten you!

[NorthernMom]

Sounds like some good, honest and fair advice.

[AZDBeachgirl]

Momoftiger- I PM'd you earlier but I don't see that message in my sent box...hmmm...let me know if you received it.
Thanks!

[Momoftiger]

Originally Posted by AZDBeachgirl

Momoftiger- I PM'd you earlier but I don't see that message in my sent box...hmmm...let me know if you received it.
Thanks!

Not that I see

[pbear19]

I don't think any of the moms here had daughters join Gamma Phi, but just in case anyone wants to relive Bid Day a bit...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I4arrqG9fqQ

[33girl]

Originally Posted by NorthernMom

I really don't want to argue. I hate this concept of "top" and "bottom". My daughter is not in what some would say is a "top" house by any stretch. I'm not sure who feels the need to subscribe to this sort of caste system. Just because a house has an overall higher GPA doesn't mean it's tops in everyone's book. And just because a house has a lower GPA point, also doesn't mean it's not desirable to girls.

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

And when people talk about strongest recruiting chapters where it applies to grades, yes the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, but the fact is the strongest chapters normally have the best grades. Because they choose their membership very carefully.

It amazes me - in a good way - the emphasis that both PNMs and the Greek community put on chapter GPA nowadays, in terms of it making a chapter more or less desirable. Highest GPA has always been a bragging right, but people saying one chapter is "better" than another because of grades is something slightly odd to me.

[Tigeralum]

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Tigeralum

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

As far as what went wrong...it's a big recruitment. There is definitely such a thing as slipping through the cracks, especially for an out of state PNM.

[33girl]

Hanging around with only sorority women is not going to help right now. I'm not saying dump them as friends - she shows great maturity and class in NOT doing that - but it's kind of like hanging out with all newlyweds right after you go through a breakup. She needs to branch out and make some additional friends that will help her see things from a different AND POSITIVE vantage point.

[MIZparent]

Originally Posted by Tigeralum

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Mizzou PHA did say 3.0-3.499 was the "yellow light" zone, and PNM's were encouraged to have a 3.5 GPA before recruitment. COB is still an option, especially if she earns a strong GPA this semester.

I do have a question. You say she was only released by two chapters after Round 1, and only one out of those seven invited her back after Round 2. At Mizzou, PNM's may visit up to 11 chapters during the second round. There are 15 chapters at Mizzou, so if she only had seven invitations for Round 2, that would mean eight houses released her after Round 1, not two houses. When your daughter is referring to total invitations and being released by chapters, is she talking about all houses, or just the ones she would be interested in pledging?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by MIZparent

Mizzou PHA did say 3.0-3.499 was the "yellow light" zone, and PNM's were encouraged to have a 3.5 GPA before recruitment. COB is still an option, especially if she earns a strong GPA this semester.

I do have a question. You say she was only released by two chapters after Round 1, and only one out of those seven invited her back after Round 2. At Mizzou, PNM's may visit up to 11 chapters during the second round. There are 15 chapters at Mizzou, so if she only had seven invitations for Round 2, that would mean eight houses released her after Round 1, not two houses. When your daughter is referring to total invitations and being released by chapters, is she talking about all houses, or just the ones she would be interested in pledging?

At this point, I don't see that as relevant or helpful to this parent. You're pointing out the obvious; we can all do the math. We can Monday Morning Quarterback, and perform autopsies, but at the end of the day it's finished for this PNM. The PNM is asking her mother "what went wrong?" and since NONE of us were in the chapters during Membership Selection (which is private) we can't answer that question.

[Tigeralum]

MIZparent, I must be confused about the round numbers. Mon and Tues she visited 15 houses. She was cut by 2 of them. She then picked the 11 houses she wanted to go back to on Wed and Thurs. Thurs night she preffed 7 houses and Fri morning was only invited back to 1. She released herself that morning. Does that make sense?

[MIZparent]

Originally Posted by Tigeralum

MIZparent, I must be confused about the round numbers. Mon and Tues she visited 15 houses. She was cut by 2 of them. She then picked the 11 houses she wanted to go back to on Wed and Thurs. Thurs night she preffed 7 houses and Fri morning was only invited back to 1. She released herself that morning. Does that make sense?

Maybe confused about the rounds? Lord knows, I couldn't keep them straight.

I knew I would probably get some grief about that question, but I asked so I could get an idea of how many released her in the first round, and I was a little confused by how you explained it. Anyhow... My guess is her grades, even though a 3.4+ is a very good GPA. I get a sense there is a reluctance at Mizzou for the pledge classes to get as big as they are at other universities like Arkansas and Alabama, and maybe they are using a higher GPA grade cut off to keep the numbers down? A 3.5 and above is a fairly high green light. Maybe someone has more insight into that than I do in regards to that?

I don't think she did anything wrong. From reports in local news outlets, this incoming freshman class at Mizzou (not just PNM's) is considered one of the smartest and accomplished classes they've ever had (make sure she knows she's included in that assessment!). She just ran into a lot of competition, and perhaps missed the cut at some of these houses by just a few places on their invite lists.

In any case, if she is still interested in pledging, make sure she fills out that COB form on the PHA website. It's only good for one semester, so she'll need to fill it out again in January if she doesn't COB with a chapter this fall. One of the chapters is already listed on the PHA website as COB'ing right now. Good luck.

[Tigeralum]

Thank you to everyone who has replied on this thread or sent me a private message. I'm touched by the amount of support and advice I have received in just a few hours. This forum is exactly what I needed! I'm so thankful I stumbled across it.