Transfer Dropping Before Receiving Bid

[fhkdervnr]

Hi, I am transferring to a school in Texas from a school in another state. At my old university, I decided to go through formal recruitment, but dropped on the third day because I was not invited to the houses I wanted (Bad idea, I know). However, now that I am transferring, I really want to go through rush again with a more open mind. I am concerned, however, because the application asks me if I have ever gone through the process of formal recruitment before, and I am worried that if I answer honestly, it will hurt me because the girls might not like that I rushed and dropped (or as far as they know, was dropped). Should I answer this question honestly? I was never offered a bid, and they only have a few chapters in common, so would they have a way of finding out that I rushed previously? Thank you!

[FSUZeta]

The school in Texas will have no way of knowing that you attended rush parties at another school out of state unless you list it on your application.

[Titchou]

Maybe - you'll need recs for any school in Texas....and you run the risk that one of your rec writers will spill the beans....it could be a sticky wicket - so to speak. I don't have a definitive answer...

[FSUZeta]

Good point. I didn't think of that. OP, you do need recs. If your rec writers know that you participated in rush at your old school, you need to decide how you will approach your dropping out with them. To me it seems that there are 2 choices :

1) if you feel certain that the rec writer does not know you rushed last year, you can say nothing

2) if you think the rec writer might know that you rushed previously, it might behoove you to talk with her about it.

Either way you take a risk.

[AZTheta]

I am a firm believer in telling the truth.

And you posted that your name is **** in your intro thread. Whether or not that is your real name doesn't matter. Trust me - someone will, in a few clicks, be able to figure out where you're rushing; if you've not been honest, that will not end well for you. AAMOF I'd edit the hell out of what I've written here on GC already.

Now here's the thing: you don't have to spill your guts. You withdrew from rush due to unexpected reasons/circumstances which did not permit you to continue. Right?

That's hair-splitting. Of course. It's the truth though. You didn't expect to get dropped (no one does, everyone is special and doesn't see themselves as fitting in anywhere other than the TOP chapters) and it rattled you to the point that you couldn't go on. We understand. We see that all the time. So, problem solved. You do not elaborate on the unexpected reasons/circumstances other than to say how disappointed you were (because - duh - you were, you dropped out of rush as a result) and that you are hopeful that you will be able to find a home at your new school.

Got it?

Good luck. Totally mean that, sincerely. I hope you will find what we have found. It's for a lifetime. It really truly is. You make it that way. I am grateful for meaningful friendships with like-minded women of all letters, all over the world. I count FSUZeta and Titchou in that group. Waiting to hear in this thread from honeychile and carnation and 33girl and swtxbelle (I could go on and on) and the rest of the usual suspects. We are vastly different. But in one regard we are all the same; and there's no easy way to explain it. Once you experience it, you'll get it.

Oh and check out my signature. Words of wisdom, indeed, from another newer friend here.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

I am a firm believer in telling the truth.

This! And as AZTheta said, you don't have to tell the whole truth, but I wouldn't lie and say you haven't rushed before. Then you'll always worry that someone might find out (even after recruitment). Don't add any more stress to what is already a stressful process.

You can't change what happened in the past. Just focus on moving forward and showing off your best self during recruitment. Go in prepared and keep an open mind, and realize that you'll be fortunate to receive a bid from any chapter. All NPCs have a lot to offer, both during college and long after.

[thetalady]

Learning that there are many ways to tell the absolute truth is a skill that will serve you well in life. Learn how to do it well and practice!

Rush again, but I certainly hope that you go in with a totally open mind this time. No more of this dropping because you only want certain chapters. You have an opportunity. Make the best of it.

[fhkdervnr]

Thank you, ladies. Because of your words, I have decided to be honest on my application. After all, if I am trying to be part of a sisterhood, I should not go into it with lies.

[FSUZeta]

Withdrew from rush. If asked it is okay to give a vague answer such as AZTheta suggested. Good luck. Please let us know how everything goes.