Alumna Initiation Sorority Search

[adpiucf]

BA makes a really good point. I think it is better to get to know the local women in an AA and to go from there. Symbols, charity projects aside, your relationships with the people in the organization are what matter most.

[valkyrie]

I hate cliches, but isn't this sort of putting the cart before the horse? How does one decide, in a general sense, that she would like to be an alumna initiate, without having a sense of what organization interests her or even how to make that determination?

Originally Posted by Scandia

Hi everyone!

I am interested in being initiated as an alumna into a social sorority of the Panhellenic Council.

I graduated college several years ago and obtained an advanced degree last year. I was in a service fraternity during my college years and enjoyed it very much.

I did try sorority rush, but it did not work out. The timing just was not right on my end. I did not know what I wanted to major in or do as a career back then. But now I am very successful in a career I enjoy very much. So I would like to give Greek life another chance.

How did you find the right sorority for you?

Should I pick one that was present in my undergraduate institution (which is 2 hours away from where I live now)? How about one present in either my graduate university (close to my apartment) or the university across my job (which I have never attended)? Would you recommend a sorority with a chapter within driving distance? One that was present at any of the institutions that you have attended? I did take some courses at a third university in my state, but not for a degree- just professional enrichment.

Should I pick one that invited me back during rush back then? One is still present in my undergrad school but does not have a closer chapter. Another one is not at that school anymore, nor where I got my Masters.

I have gone to the homepages of all the sororities that were in my undergrad school back then, as well as read the information about them in Greek Chat and other websites. One of them that appealed to me back then still appeals to me due to its focus being very similar to my personality. How much would you count this? How much did you count the philantropies? The intellectual backgrounds, and interests of the founders?

Any other factors I should consider? Any major restrictions that you know about? Anything that has changed since I was an undergraduate student?

Finally, what are the involvement opportunities for someone in my situation?

Thank you so much for all your help.

[adpiucf]

By having friends in real life who invite you to come to a sorority fundraiser or dinner with their sisters.... rather than shopping around for an organization.

[lake]

Originally Posted by ariesrising

Before I contacted anyone I'd done literally years worth of research. Even though I thought I knew what I was getting into - alumnae membership as an alum initiate isn't the same as collegiate membership, and it's not even the same as "regular" alum membership. You don't have a bond with these women, who already have one. It can be incredibly difficult to feel like a part of things, even as an initiated sister (and when you're shy like me, it's even harder lol).

I think a lot of the "down side" of AI is brushed under the rug on GC and I feel that PNAMs may be getting the idea that it's all sunshine and roses once you are a successful AI. (Just as PNMs may be surprised with what "real" sorority membership is actually like)

Yes, yes, yes!! Everything she said - yes!!

The so-called "down side" of AI should be mentioned because it is not necessarily all sunshine and roses (as ariesrising mentioned).

As an example, as an AI I never had the benefit of having a song chair to teach me Tri Delta songs. Another example is I never had the experience of weekly meetings to experience ritual and meeting protocol on a regular basis. You really need to be motivated all the time to put yourself out there and put your best face forward and be pro-active to get things moving initially, even after your initiation, when you may only know a handful of people really well. It is not instant friendships and bonding by any means just because you've gone through a ceremony. You need to establish and nurture that yourself on an on-going basis, which is true for any important relationship.

Did I realize all this before I was invited to membership? Absolutely. I had no illusions whatsoever. I knew it might be awkward initially but I also figured I was motivated enough and loved the organization enough that I would give it my best and make it work. I knew I would eventually come "up to speed" and be a fully contributing member, but that it would most definitely take a lot of work and initiative on my part, long after the initiation ceremony.

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by lake

Yes, yes, yes!! Everything she said - yes!!

The so-called "down side" of AI should be mentioned because it is not necessarily all sunshine and roses (as ariesrising mentioned).

As an example, as an AI I never had the benefit of having a song chair to teach me Tri Delta songs. Another example is I never had the experience of weekly meetings to experience ritual and meeting protocol on a regular basis. You really need to be motivated all the time to put yourself out there and put your best face forward and be pro-active to get things moving initially, even after your initiation, when you may only know a handful of people really well. It is not instant friendships and bonding by any means just because you've gone through a ceremony. You need to establish and nurture that yourself on an on-going basis, which is true for any important relationship.

Did I realize all this before I was invited to membership? Absolutely. I had no illusions whatsoever. I knew it might be awkward initially but I also figured I was motivated enough and loved the organization enough that I would give it my best and make it work. I knew I would eventually come "up to speed" and be a fully contributing member, but that it would most definitely take a lot of work and initiative on my part, long after the initiation ceremony.

Great post, Lake!

Your song chair comment made me laugh. I have the same problem!!! Whenever I go to Zeta Days or Founder's Days, or Officer Training events.. I feel like a total dork standing there while everyone else sings Zeta songs.

[lake]

Originally Posted by blueangel

Great post, Lake!

Your song chair comment made me laugh. I have the same problem!!! Whenever I go to Zeta Days or Founder's Days, or Officer Training events.. I feel like a total dork standing there while everyone else sings Zeta songs.

Yeah! That's what I mean! Everyone else can sing together and sort of bond that way because they all can take for granted (because they were collegiate members) that they know what to sing and what's going on. It's not that easy for an AI because you're on your own and cannot just fall back on your collegiate experience. It takes extra effort on your part. And perhaps a willingness to feel like a dork for awhile (like I do/did) until you're more familiar with protocols and procedures.

I am most certainly not whining or complaining. I love Tri Delta and am thrilled to be a member. And all of the Tri Deltas I've met so far are amazingly welcoming and gracious. It's just that there are extra hurdles and difficulties for AIs that may not even cross your mind as you're envisioning your future membership. These are a few.

[adpiucf]

Don't feel bad. Collegians and alumnae go through the same thing. It can be a bit of a let down after your initiation and all of the attention. On the collegiate level, women drop by the drove after their first full year-- a lot of attention has been given on the collegiate level to improve retention and to see where we are falling short with the programming.

I've been an ADPi for 10 years and I came from a chapter that sings everything... and yet when I attended convention and some district events in other regions, I was still learning new songs that it seemed everyone else knew!

So, AI sisters, you're going through what every sister goes through-- and I admire your determination to learn the ropes and the songs!

[blueangel]

Lookie what I found.

http://www.ztamsu.com/?p=multimedia

and for you, Lake:

http://www.sjtridelta.org/songs.htm

[lake]

Originally Posted by blueangel

Lookie what I found.

http://www.ztamsu.com/?p=multimedia

and for you, Lake:

http://www.sjtridelta.org/songs.htm

Yay! Words to songs!

I've actually been considering buying a tape from Exec Office with some of the more popular or traditional Tri Delta songs on it. Then I could print this nifty list you provided and sing along with the tape.

Is that dorky or what?!

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by lake

Yay! Words to songs!

I've actually been considering buying a tape from Exec Office with some of the more popular or traditional Tri Delta songs on it. Then I could print this nifty list you provided and sing along with the tape.

Is that dorky or what?!

Hey, at least you have printed words. I have to sit here and sing to my computer! Now how dorky is THAT?!!

Surely there are some other sites... anyone? Got any TriDelta or ZTA sites to help out some poor dorky AIs?

[ShyViolet]

hijack

I know from having been my collegiate chapter's music chair that TriSigma has both a songbook (with lyrics and sheet music) as well as a CD of the songs. I'd hazard a guess that we're not the only NPC sorority to do so. It'd be worth a shot contacting your Nat'l/Int'l HQ to see if Zeta or TriDelta did something along those lines. Good luck!

/hijack

[Taualumna]

Originally Posted by lake

Yes, yes, yes!! Everything she said - yes!!

The so-called "down side" of AI should be mentioned because it is not necessarily all sunshine and roses (as ariesrising mentioned).

As an example, as an AI I never had the benefit of having a song chair to teach me Tri Delta songs. Another example is I never had the experience of weekly meetings to experience ritual and meeting protocol on a regular basis. You really need to be motivated all the time to put yourself out there and put your best face forward and be pro-active to get things moving initially, even after your initiation, when you may only know a handful of people really well. It is not instant friendships and bonding by any means just because you've gone through a ceremony. You need to establish and nurture that yourself on an on-going basis, which is true for any important relationship.

Did I realize all this before I was invited to membership? Absolutely. I had no illusions whatsoever. I knew it might be awkward initially but I also figured I was motivated enough and loved the organization enough that I would give it my best and make it work. I knew I would eventually come "up to speed" and be a fully contributing member, but that it would most definitely take a lot of work and initiative on my part, long after the initiation ceremony.

Same here too. The first IRD I went to, I mouthed some of the songs because I didn't want to look like I didn't know the words! I eventually learned them, of course, but sometimes, I *STILL* feel out of place when alumnae are talking about their collegian experiences...thank goodness this doesn't happen very often

I enjoy being with my sisters and will be participating in a big project my chapter's doing this coming fall!