Advice Please

thetaphigrl · #1 07-03-2002, 09:46 PM

hey everyone!

I need your advice about something..My friend is in a sorority at the present moment..when she went through formal she got her 3rd choice not her 1st choice..but she accepted and is overjoyed at her decision now..but there is one thing she wanted me to address to you all for she is not a member of gc.. there are some members in her 1st choice sorority that she would like to hang out with but her fear is that since they didnt invite her back to pref therefore not giving her a bid that they would not want to hang out with her.... a person not even associated with greek life told her not to mingle with other sororities because if they wanted to hang out with her they would have picked her..i know that when ppl arent given bids it doesnt mean that sorority doesnt like them....it is a number of things..but she wanted me to ask all of you since I am pretty new at greek life..so my question is...should she try to make a closer friendship with these girls who go out of their way every day to say hello to her..or should she just keep them as acquaintences..I would really appreciate some feedback on this..thanx..

love in Theta Phi Alpha

Thetaphigrl

theta sig agd · #2 07-03-2002, 10:17 PM

There is NO reason why this person should not try to make friends with people from other groups. You are greek!! Ther person who told her that she cant is stupid and just saying that cuz they dont have anything else to say. Just because they didnt give her a bid didnt mean they didnt like her, just that she wouldnt have been a good "fit" to there group as a whole.

I have good freinds in other groups and none of them gave me a bid.

Blaire · #3 07-03-2002, 11:07 PM

I agree with Theta Sig AGD...my best friends include a Kappa Delta, an Alpha Omicron Pi, and a Chi Omega! And, to tell you the truth, one of the reasons I love them so much is b/c we don't always talk about DZ related stuff. For instance, "Tomorrow we're voting on a new sisterhood chair; who are you going to vote for"? Stuff like that. Plus, they know how important being a DZ is to me b/c being in a sorority is important to them too! I say go for it! Life's too short!

much greek love,
Blaire

So proud to be a DELTA ZEE!

No matter the letter, greeks do it better!

SATX*APhi · #4 07-03-2002, 11:10 PM

I agree with the two previous posts. What would hold your friend back? You two are friends and in different sororities, correct? Tell her to go for it.

sweetie adpi · #5 07-04-2002, 12:13 AM

right on blaire, and co. ... obviously, thetaphigirl, as you said, your friend is happy with her sorority, which is important, but you can never have too many friends... those women in other orgs will add to her experience as well as possibly becoming some of her close friends!if they are going out of their way to say hi, they mus t recognize what a great person she is, and who wouldn't want a friend like that!? remember the saying no matter the letter, we're all greek together? the panhellenic spirit will only help you not hurt, but it's more than just that, it's wanting to diversify your own friendships and reach past what i've seen become (unfortunately) what some ladies see as the unbreakable boundaries of their orgs... it's healthy to have friends outside of your sorority, they help you realize that there is a bigger picture out there, and your org is one (meaningful) part of it. hope this mad e sense, it's been a long day at work

good luck to your friend!

twinstars · #6 07-04-2002, 12:46 AM

I agree with what everyone else has said. Whoever told you that is just stupid and obviously doesn't know much at all about the ways a sorority makes its selections during rush. Whether or not a rushee gets invited back, or whether or not they get a bid, is not a reflection of what a few individuals think of you. It's sort of a composite of the opinions of the whole group. One or more girls in the house could totally love you, but you'd be cut because the rest of their sisters liked other rushees better. It doesn't mean that your friends aren't your friends anymore, or that they don't think you're cool enough to get a bid at their house. From personal experience, I know there are certainly younger girls who were cut from my sorority who I sincerely respected and liked... it's just that at the end of the day, my sisters liked other girls even more. Even though I know it's impossible, no girl should take rush week and whatever goes down personally. Once you're on the inside (in a house) and see how these decisions are really made, you'll totally understand how flaky and impersonal the process can be.

italianaxo · #7 07-04-2002, 08:28 AM

i totally agree that your friend should hang out with the girls she likes in other sororities. i met one of my best friends when she went through rush (when i was already a member), she joined another group but we are now really close.
some of those girls may have really wanted her in their sorority, but it is a complicated group decision.

Krisber81 · #8 07-04-2002, 09:45 AM

I agree, go make friends...If you don't then you feel like your against the other sororities on campus. We are all Greek, Are we not?
All because she may not have been bidded into that sorority doesn't mean the girls don't like her. It could be for other reasons...maybe the girls felt that she didn't quit belong or that she wasn't really sure what she wanted to do and if that particular sorority was right for her. It is a majority vote too on the most part.
Go for making friends because everyone knows we need them in this world.

~Kristen

thetaphigrl · #9 07-04-2002, 10:22 AM

Hey everyone!

Thanx for all your replies..I had her look at them and you all said basically what I said to her..so now she feels better..Thanx again!

Love in Theta Phi Alpha

Thetaphigrl