Quote:
Originally Posted by Just interested
I hope every pnm reads this thread. It has been a long time for me but this thread brings back a lot of memories of the highs and lows of recruitment. The honesty is awesome. No situation is perfect but it is how we react to the outcome that makes us who we are and who we will be. Recruitment is rarely perfect and there are a lot of tears on both sides of the fence but in reality, if we allow it, a perfect home is found and a lot of life's lessons are learned along the way. Great job, 20something.
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I'm glad that you're liking it. It's something I wanted to share for a long time but I was nervous how it would be perceived.
Ready for the next installment? OK then.
So the day of Prefs everyone was freaking out about where they would be invited. Floormate was still freaking out about whether she would join Haley or withdraw. Roommate and I were extremely nervous about Peyton.
We went to pick up our invitations. Roommate went first. She went in and came out looking totally down. I knew right away what had happened. She confirmed that she had been cut from Peyton. I knew this was a really bad sign.
I was next in to pick up my invitation list. My Rho Chi was sitting there and handed it over. I knew when she handed it to me what it said because I could tell from the look on her face. My Rho Chi was a very intuitive person and had known from early in the fall that I really wanted Peyton. I opened my list and it said
Haley.
Peyton had cut me. I was pretty crushed. I felt even worse about the awkward outfit and like I had REALLY not impressed the Peyton sophomore that picked me up. (As an aside, I didn't really get to know this girl until my junior year when Hallmate got to know her rather well, because both of them were involved in APO. Then I decided she was a pretty nice person.) BUT... I had one thing going for me. I knew that Roommate was also only invited back to Haley and we would pledge together. There was not really a question of us dropping out... ever.
We got back to our dorm and eventually saw Floormate. She was thrilled that we'd been cut from Peyton and that the three of us would pledge Haley together if possible. Frankly, this pissed off Roommate and I a bit. It was like she'd been glad we were cut or something.
In other news: Hallmate had been cut from Haley. That's right, Hallmate would not be receiving a bid to any sorority.
She was really crushed. I won't get into it any further out of respect for her.
I didn't know what had happened to Girls from Across the Street (remember, all of them but one had wanted to join Peyton), but I was pretty sure they would be getting Peyton.
I still wondered what might have happened if my University Big Peyton had been there for recruitment.
For preference night parties I wore a really pretty class purple shift dress with purple shoes. I love that dress still - I only just gave it to Goodwill a few weeks ago. It will never go out of style.
1. Haley's recruitment party! I was disappointed and embarrassed to be only invited back to one party, but after seeing Hallmate's experience I was glad to be invited back anywhere. I was also relieved to be scheduled for the second Haley preference party. Otherwise I would have had to go back to the cafeteria early to fill out my preference card and that seemed like it would have been really mortifying.
Haley's preference party was good. I was picked up by the girl from my area that had given me rides home in the past and went to my church on campus. She made things feel really informal and natural. I was actually starting to get nervous about whether or not I would get a bid to Haley. When they served chocolate-covered strawberries I bit into mine and lo and behold the chocolate coating fell off all over me. I was so embarrassed (my clothes weren't stained, thankfully), but the Haley made me feel that it was really alright.
The preference ceremony was good. The chapter members wore all white, which I did not feel was the most flattering selection. The president (I believe I mentioned her before) was a larger girl and it just wasn't the most flattering look for her... She gave an introductory speech. One thing that was interesting was that the Haleys had a bowl of floating candles (ILLEGAL! ILLEGAL!). Each PNM was led up to light a candle at one point in the ceremony. At one point, the candles actually caught some of the other decor on the table on fire.
BUT - The president handled it really well. She just took some water from the bowl and doused the mini-fire and made a really funny comment and went on with the ceremony. It made me realize that she was pretty poised and hilarious despite being what I considered the negative image of Haley. One thing that I didn't like, though, was having to get up in front of everyone to light the candle, and the fact that Haley had some of their members singing softly throughout the ceremony - it was sort of distracting.
Then Haley had a member come forward and talk about when her mother passed away during her freshman year of college. She spoke about how the Haleys had gotten her to the airport and helped her pack her things and everything. When she got back to campus, she found a small symbol of the sorority hanging on her dorm room doorknob. It was a really small thing but she described how much it meant to her. She felt like people were always watching over her. So that was nice.
I talked to Hometown Haley for a bit longer... I felt like she was a bit nervous about "closing the deal" but I felt really confident that they had paired me with someone who knew me really well and knew how to make me feel comfortable. So it was good. I remember really liking the Haley song as we were led out.
So we all walked in silence to the cafeteria.
I filled out my preference card. I didn't take too long compared to other people. I noticed Roommate took longer than me and I was seriously worried that she would not put Haley on her card.
I marked down:
1. Haley
2. Peyton
3. Nathan
I don't know why I bothered putting Peyton and Nathan. I think I was convinced that maybe somehow, some way, I might still end up in one of them. LOL.
On the way out of the cafeteria I met another PNM I knew. I asked her where she had preferenced. She said she was going Haley! This surprised me a bit because I knew this girl was from a really nice family and elite high school in Texas. I had assumed she would not go to Haley. So I was really pleased to hear that. I felt she would make a good pledge sister. I knew that she was REALLY close with one of the Girls from Across the Street - specifically the one who had stood up in front of the rest of us and said she wanted Haley and not Peyton (much to our surprise), so I asked about what that PNM had done. The Texas PNM got a really weird look on her face and said that she wasn't totally sure, but she thought that girl was going to pledge Peyton. I was so surprised. That girl had said Haley or nothing! It seemed weird to me that things had reversed so much.
I went and talked to one of my guy friends that night. This was the guy who'd gone to Christmas formal with my roommate and who was hoping to pledge MOR/Central. The one who'd visited me at home over Christmas break and I felt there might be chemistry developing between us. He's the one who had gone to the same HS as my first short-lived college boyfriend and who was using the ex as an in to MOR/Central. I knew that this guy was kind of an elitist in certain ways and I just wanted to know what he'd think of me now that I was going Haley.
I got really emotional when I got to his room. I sort of surprised myself - but I hadn't show any emotion about all of this so far, so I guess it was high time. I told him I just couldn't understand why Peyton had cut me. I sat there and sort of blubbered a bit and he started rubbing my back. I asked him if he knew anything. He asked did I want him to be honest. He said yes.
He said that over Christmas break he'd gotten together with my ex to drink and hang out. They started talking about sorority recruitment and my ex had told him "well, 20something won't be getting Peyton, I've made sure of that."
That was really shocking to me. Remember, my ex was the one who orchestrated me hanging out with his Peyton friends a lot. I knew my ex was angry at me - first because I wouldn't have sex with him and secondly because I had yelled at him for breaking up with me. And there was the possibility he might have been mad at me for puking in his room the weekend he was at a tennis tournament too. But I never thought that the ex would purposely try to sabotage me or even invest that much thought into my recruitment.
A part of me still wonders if this is true. Older and wiser, I know that a lot of times guys *think* they have a ton of influence over sorority recruitment - and they don't really, or at least they don't have as much influence as they flatter themselves they do. So I don't know. I think he probably did say something to some of his Peyton friends. Did they listen to him? Is that why I was cut there? I will never know.
My friend was really supportive though. I actually think I asked him if he would still hang out with me if I was a Haley. He said of course and said a lot of really encouraging stuff about how I could help Haley improve and I would still be liked. He made me feel a lot better. He was just so kind and mature about the whole thing - not at all like a freshman boy.
I went back to my dorm room to chat with my roommate. She had finished by then and she DID list Haley so I was happy. I think she might have put it second, but she still listed it. Our Rho Chi came by to talk to us and chat. First of all, she was worried about Hallmate because Hallmate was shut in her room and refusing to talk to her.
Secondly, she wanted to check on Roommate and I and see if we were OK about Peyton cutting us. She told us a story about how one of her friends had been crushed to be cut from a certain house and joined another and became Little Miss That House (I later put two-and-two-together on who this was).
Roommate and I flat out asked the Rho Chi about how bid lists were put together and more specifically how voting was conducted. We were both terrified of not making it into Haley somehow. I'll be honest and say my Rho Chi told me a lot of detail about how her sorority's membership process worked. Info I know must be correct. She explained how voting for bid lists was done and this really reassured us. I know some of you might fault her for doing this, but I know she trusted us and I believe telling us frankly how the voting was conducted was one of the most compassionate things she could have done. I was so impressed with her and still am. I remember thinking, gosh, I hope she's not a Brooke just because she's an athlete. Isn't that awful? LOL.
So we went to bed in much anticipation of Bid Day.
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Carry on.
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