Best drunken stories!

[Sisterplum]

I got inspired by the thread "18 signs it's time to call it a night" and I thought we could share our best drunken stories! I love hearing other people's stories....so I'll start with mine!

One night downtown, after a sorority event with another Greek org (Zeta Psi...my brother's fraternity...before he was a brother)....anyway, we all went to my fave bar, JJ's just in time for power hour ( dollar bar shots....$2 shooters, you see where I'm going with that!) Well, we all end up getting really drunk. My boyfriend (now my husband) decides to write "Vera has big boobs" on the window.....so everyone will know his girlfriend has huge hooters (as if it's not noticeable! LOL) Anyway, I left the bar with a friend to go get some more cash and while I'm gone Art proceeds to get worried as to where I've gone (note: he's not worried about his bank card which I took to get more money!) He starts telling my sisters "You know, I've grown quite fond of her...can you find her please?"etc, etc....then falls out of the chair! I wish I was there to see that!
Anyway, slowly people start leaving. Our ride went to go get a pita from Pita Boys up the street and said to wait there...they were going to get the car too.....well, we obviously can't wait....and decide to walk to Pita Boys (but of course we can't see in front of us) Sarah, Art and I kinda realized walking was a bad thing when a car beeped at us......drunked walking across streets is not very good! We somehow made it to Pita Boys and while I went in to get food, Art sat down on the sidewalk and passed out....he looked just like a drunken bum begging for money!!!!!
Well, that's the best part of my story (basically we somehow got home, Art passed out in the living room and threw up, I passed out in his room and threw up....but still had the sense of mind to clean up after myself! Haha....it was a funny night!)

So, let's hear your drunken night stories!!!

[ZTAngel]

It was my friend Bill's 21st birthday. Before going downtown, us underagers drank at his place. We were all really drunk. Two of my roommates who had to work the next day took the initiative to the designated drivers. So nice of them! We got a ride downtown and partied all night. First we hit Bar Orlando. You can dance on top of the bar tops. I got up there and started to bust a move. Well, my clumsy drunk butt couldn't control its balance. I started slipping. I grabbed onto the closest and sturdiest thing....my friend Jen. We both went crashing down onto the floor. Jen had a skirt on. The skirt had lifted during her fall to the ground. Her pale butt was displayed to the crowd of onlookers. Luckily, we were ok and were not hurt besides bruised ego.
We went from club to club that night watching Bill take one drink after another. My friend, Chris, told us at one bar that he was going to take Bill outside to get fresh air. Well, Chris ends up losing Bill in downtown Orlando. We looked everywhere for him! We found him at some nearby bar with his face pressed against a window making fish faces at us. Bill pounds a few more drinks at that bar. "You should probably quit now," I told him. Bill said, "It's my 21st. You never quit on your 21st!" We take him into this other club. By then, Bill couldn't even stand on his own. We decided that we'd only spend a few minutes there and then take him home. There were these couches in front of the bar. Bill sat down on the couch next to this really pretty girl. "What's wrong with him?" she asked me. Bill had the most dumbfounded look on his face. "It's his 21st and he drank a little too much," I told her. She started rubbing his back and saying stuff like "Oh...you poor thing". If Bill was coherent, he would've enjoyed having a pretty girl rubbing his shoulders. So, Bill's friends decided he was in good hands. A couple of the guys went to hit the dance floor. I went to go use the bathroom. "Is it ok if I leave him here with you for a few minutes?" I asked the girl. She told me it was no problem. As I was walking out of the bathroom five minutes later, I heard this loud and piercing shriek. The pretty girl ran into the bathroom covered in Bill's vomit. Bill had his head and hands and kept whimpering, "I f%^ed up, man. She'll never sleep with me now." We took him home promptly.
On the way home, he told my roommate, "PULL OVER!" He got out of the car but nothing but dry heeves came up. He got back in. All the sudden, Bill threw up all over my roomie's new Toyota 4 Runner. The smell did not clear out for two weeks.

[DeltAlum]

St. Patricks Day, 1965...

I was a first semester Freshman. Young and not all that bright. I hadn't even pledged yet. Some friends of mine from Ohio State were visiting me on campus, but I had a date and arranged to meet them after women's "hours." (Women had to be in the dorms by 10:30 on weeknights and 12:30 on weekends in those days)

There was a riot going on "uptown." There were always riots on St. Pattys day at our campus in those days. I believe that's the main reason the university changed to quarters so St. Pats falls during Spring Break. Everyone from the "big schools" in Ohio and Michigan who were already on break stopped at our little party school campus on the way Florida.

My date and I went to an off campus apartment with her roommate and date and drank a lot of vodka. I mean, a lot of vodka.

In our stupor, we figured it we could just skirt the riot, get the girls back to the dorm, skirt the riot again and get to the BBF (an Ohio version of fast food hamburger places) to get some french fries, everything would be OK. Real brain surgeons.

We managed to accomplish that, and met up with my pals from OSU and were sitting in the BBF while the riot was going on outside. Women from the private dorm across the street were "flashing" the crowds out their windows.

There was a special duty rent-a-cop or something in the restaurant. The place was packed, and everybody was chanting "Cops eat (well, you know) and clapping their hands in cadence. The four of us were just sitting there clapping our hands (and not yelling), and sort of staring blankly into space, eating our greasy french fries.

Well, the cop didn't like us, I guess, so he came up to us and said, "You guys...out!" On the way out, he gave me a huge shove with his baton and I almost tripped down the three stair to the sidewalk.

I suspect I may be the only guy to ever get thrown out of the BBF for minding my own business and eating fries.

The cap to the evening came when we got down to my dorm and found my room mate passed out on the Green with an empty bottle of Kesslers in his hand. We hauled him up four flights of stairs and left him in the shower. Sure glad he didn't drown.

Like I said, young and stupid.

[XO_Princess]

Ok, these are some of the tamer moments:

1) For my 23rd bday, my aunt gave me this gorgeous Gucci purse. I love that thing. Anyhoo, all my friends and I were going out that night to celebrate, and so of course, I carried the Gucci. We were at this martini bar, and I had been drinking champagne all night. At closing time, I walk out with Hunny and 2 friends. There were some trolley tracks in front of the bar, and I was wearing these sandals that slip on/off easily. Well, I didn't notice the trolley tracks, my sandal got caught on them, and I fell flat on my face...in front of 2 police men. As I fall, I throw the purse to Hunny and scream "Save the Gucci!!" Anyhoo, I pick myself up, my knee is bleeding all over the place, and I'm like, "Is the Gucci ok??" My friends laughed their asses off. When I saw everyone a few days later, they were all like, "Save the Gucci!".

2) I was throwing a surprise party on the beach for my ex. I invited everyone and their dog, we had a huge fire, and we all just got falling down drunk. Towards the end of the night, the fire had burned down, and there were just the hot coals. Well, someone dared my friend to walk across them...so he did. And then my ex did, and then I did. OMG, the pain kicked in about 5 minutes afterwards, you can't imagine of bad it was. I fell asleep that night on my sink counter with my feet running under cold water. Then I had to go wait tables the next day for 8 hours. That was , I can safely say, the dumbest thing I've ever done, drunk or sober.