Did I do something wrong?

tomjennings · #1 02-21-2013, 05:36 PM

Last night I went to the spring recruitment event for my top choice fraternity. I had a good time, spoke to all the guys there, and I thought I made a good impression. As I left, the recruitment chair, who I had been exchanging emails with, asked me if I would like to see the house. I told him I would email him later when I could figure out a time.

So I emailed him last night and told him some times that would work for me, but I never got back a reply. I then texted him this afternoon with the same info., but I still have not heard from him.

I now think the fraternity just hates me so much that they won't talk to me anymore. What did I do wrong? Why would they not respond to me?

adpiucf · #2 02-21-2013, 05:44 PM

No one can say for certain. But you may have taken too long to get back to them, or they viewed your reasonable request for time to consult your schedule as disinterest and filled their class with people they perceive as more eager. Many Greek organizations want to see really eager new members who will drop everything for them. Your request was not unreasonable because you emailed him the same night, but they're they ones with the keys to the kingdom and maybe you didn't come running fast enough or convey the high level of interest they wanted to see. This is all speculation.

Or perhaps they're simply trying to clear their schedules or to teach you a lesson in not keeping them waiting. Or they met someone they liked better. Or they haven't checked their emails and texts yet. It has only been a day; so maybe you're being a little melodramatic about them "hating" you.

Don't contact them again. Two times is ok. The third makes you a desperate stalker, especially because it has been less than 24 hours since you saw these guys.

Rushing is like dating. Sometimes someone loses interest and is too immature to tell you to your face, so they just ignore you until you get the hint and go away. And sometimes calling someone multiple times after you've only been out on a date with them once is considered creepy and overkill.

Better luck next time with the other fraternities at your school.

tomjennings · #3 02-21-2013, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

No one can say for certain. But you may have taken too long to get back to them, or they viewed your reasonable request for time to consult your schedule as disinterest and filled their class with people they perceive as more eager. Many Greek organizations want to see really eager new members who will drop everything for them. Your request was not unreasonable because you emailed him the same night, but they're they ones with the keys to the kingdom and maybe you didn't come running fast enough or convey the high level of interest they wanted to see. This is all speculation.

Or perhaps they're simply trying to clear their schedules or to teach you a lesson in not keeping them waiting. Or they met someone they liked better. Or they haven't checked their emails and texts yet. It has only been a day; so maybe you're being a little melodramatic about them "hating" you.

Don't contact them again. Two times is ok. The third makes you a desperate stalker, especially because it has been less than 24 hours since you saw these guys.

Rushing is like dating. Sometimes someone loses interest and is too immature to tell you to your face, so they just ignore you until you get the hint and go away. And sometimes calling someone multiple times after you've only been out on a date with them once is considered creepy and overkill.

Better luck next time with the other fraternities at your school.

I don't get any of that. I asked him when the next event would be and he said they had no more events planned. Then when he was in a hurry to get out of there he asked me this and I told him what I posted in the OP. I even told most of the people there that this was my top choice, if not my only choice. WTF!

sigmagirl2000 · #4 02-21-2013, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomjennings

I don't get any of that. I asked him when the next event would be and he said they had no more events planned. Then when he was in a hurry to get out of there he asked me this and I told him what I posted in the OP. I even told most of the people there that this was my top choice, if not my only choice. WTF!

.... If you aren't open to getting answers, don't ask questions. Why would a brother be in a hurry to "get out of there?" It sounds to me like you are impatient and need to grow up a bit. Maybe the group sensed that, maybe they're not ready to get back to you, maybe they're just not that into you.

Old_Row · #5 02-21-2013, 06:00 PM

They're not that into you?

tomjennings · #6 02-21-2013, 06:03 PM

I don't know if this was clear, but this event was held 3 miles away from the house and I did stay after the event was planned to end.

IUHoosiergirl88 · #7 02-21-2013, 06:06 PM

Maybe they're just not that into you. You reached out to them twice in 24 hours...much more and you look like this:

adpiucf · #8 02-21-2013, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomjennings

I don't get any of that. I asked him when the next event would be and he said they had no more events planned. Then when he was in a hurry to get out of there he asked me this and I told him what I posted in the OP. I even told most of the people there that this was my top choice, if not my only choice. WTF!

Well, I guess they changed their mind. Also, he may have invited you and then the chapter collectively decided not to pursue you. Just because they were your top choice doesn't mean that you were among their top choices, unfortunately. There is no way to know for sure why they haven't called. I understand you're disappointed, but you've done everything you can and now you simply have to wait to see if they call and move on.

adpiucf · #9 02-21-2013, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomjennings

I don't know if this was clear, but this event was held 3 miles away from the house and I did stay after the event was planned to end.

Seriously, we don't know why they aren't calling. You're overanalyzing this. Maybe next time don't be the last one there when the party ends?

DubaiSis · #10 02-21-2013, 07:45 PM

You went last night and by 2 PM you were freaking out because they weren't calling? You're actually a girl, right? Dude, chill. The rush chair may actually be a student in college and be busy.

KappaSig_Eta · #11 02-23-2013, 11:43 PM

Like everyone has stated, there is no way that anyone on here could tell you the reason why they haven't responded. My guess is what adpiucf said:

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

No one can say for certain. But you may have taken too long to get back to them, or they viewed your reasonable request for time to consult your schedule as disinterest and filled their class with people they perceive as more eager. Many Greek organizations want to see really eager new members who will drop everything for them.

Perhaps it was a close call and you saying "let me check my schedule" was construed the wrong way, but again, no one will know for sure. Hope it all works out, and if not, maybe it will in the future.