Rushing as a Sophomore After Being Cut as a Freshman

[elizey7]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

I re read your first post and you didn't mention your grades or if you were involved in anything on campus. If you had average conversations, a GPA that was near the cut off to go through recruitment and you weren't involved in anything on campus - I can see why you might have been cut early on by 6 out of9 early on.

What would you define as an average conversation vs. a good conversation (I'm not trying to sound sarcastic, I really want to know)

[DeltaBetaBaby]

There are some extensive threads where we've discussed it and given tips. I think one is stickied in the sorority recruitment forum.

[DubaiSis]

A good conversation has a healthy back and forth between both parties, is fully engaged by both parties, contains unexpected and pleasant elements and is easily memorable. Talking about the weather, majors, how your feet hurt or you're tired? Not memorable. You do have to go through some of that but a good conversation moves quickly from that into more varied territory.

Don't worry about breaking any rules about conversation. If you gently step over the line you can get it back. For instance, you mention your boyfriend or dating in general in conversation. Yes, you shouldn't spend all of rush talking about boys, but they ARE a part of your life so if it comes up just don't panic. If your rusher brings up something you consider taboo, answer her, keep in mind that you don't want the conversation to go off the rails and gently ease the conversation back to something more palatable.

[clemsongirl]

Originally Posted by runreddy

Last year I rushed and was cut from 6/9 houses on campus after the first day (only left with the two houses i cut and one other). I was obviously heart broken and at the time didn't understand how this could have happened. The next round I was cut by a house I didn't really care about (let's call it orange ). I went to philanthropy at two houses I didn't really care for and I think ended up being cut because I didn't connect with the girls/subconsciously wasn't interested. After recruitment I ended up getting a snap bid from Orange house, but did not accept because I didn't connect with the girls/the house is REALLY struggling.

So you're saying that you went to three parties with two houses and still weren't interested in either of them despite the fact that they were the only houses you had left? I think you might need a bit of an attitude adjustment, OP. If you declare that one-third of the houses on your campus were houses you didn't care for and wouldn't join, you're only stacking the deck against yourself.

I also don't know what "really struggling" means on your campus, but I hope you give Orange a second look when you go through recruitment, since they liked you enough to extend a bid to you. A house I declined a COB bid from spring semester of my freshman year that struggles during recruitment was one of two houses I preffed during formal recruitment of my sophomore year. At some point I agree that joining a struggling chapter might not be worth the emotional cost of constantly feeling like you're falling short, but it could be your only chance at being Greek and I wouldn't want you to dismiss them out of hand.

I am hopeful that knowing women in sororities will give you a fresh opinion on each chapter this time through.

[SimplyMe]

Originally Posted by clemsongirl

So you're saying that you went to three parties with two houses and still weren't interested in either of them despite the fact that they were the only houses you had left? I think you might need a bit of an attitude adjustment, OP. If you declare that one-third of the houses on your campus were houses you didn't care for and wouldn't join, you're only stacking the deck against yourself.

I also don't know what "really struggling" means on your campus, but I hope you give Orange a second look when you go through recruitment, since they liked you enough to extend a bid to you. A house I declined a COB bid from spring semester of my freshman year that struggles during recruitment was one of two houses I preffed during formal recruitment of my sophomore year. At some point I agree that joining a struggling chapter might not be worth the emotional cost of constantly feeling like you're falling short, but it could be your only chance at being Greek and I wouldn't want you to dismiss them out of hand.

I am hopeful that knowing women in sororities will give you a fresh opinion on each chapter this time through.

I agree with clemsongirl here. You need to make sure you go through this next recruitment with a completely open mind. You even said it yourself that you "subconsciously wasn't interested" so you didn't really give those chapters a fair shot. Going through the process as a sophomore can go two ways. You either A) have made good connections and it helps you with the process or B) you haven't made good connections and you'll be stuck with the same houses. And if it is B you've hurt yourself by rejecting orange twice. They will remember you.

My advice is shake off last year, and put your best foot forward. Be yourself, have pocket questions ready, and make sure to be pleasant to everyone you speak to. I can not tell you how awkward it is talking to a girl who is being rude to you. I'm not saying that's the type of person you are, but some girls think they can get dropped that way and sometimes they still end up coming back.
Also give every sorority a shot. If you end up with those same 3 chapters, go to the parties. If one offers you a bid, take it. You don't have to initiate, but go to bid day and meet the girls outside of a recruitment setting. I can not tell you how many girls think a chapter isn't for them or doesn't give the chapter a chance because they think they're better than it and end up realizing that it actually was the chapter for them once they gave it a chance. You don't really get to know these girls during recruitment so if they decide to take a chance on you, you should at least try to give them a chance.

[Alpha O]

Clemsongirl hit the nail on the head.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

My advice is to have 3 interesting stories in your back pocket ready to pull out when the conversation starts to lag. I fell off a trapeze once. I ran into a girlfriend of mine from Dubai while at a gas station in the middle of nowhere New Mexico. I ended up staying in the hugest (and crappiest) suite at the Westward Ho in Las Vegas when my parents got bumped from their flight and my sister and I were on our own for a night.

No matter what, they'll remember you and probably bless you for not being the 400th conversation about the weather, the biology department or spending your summer working at camp.

If a 3rd of the school is Greek, that is A LOT. You need to find a way to stand out, but in a good way.

I can't stress this enough - not just for recruitment, but for life. Life is all about getting to know and talk to people you haven't met. Be the person who could talk to a brick wall if necessary, and you will succeed.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by elizey7

What would you define as an average conversation vs. a good conversation (I'm not trying to sound sarcastic, I really want to know)

Average conversation:
Rusher: "Where are you from"
PNM: "Philadelphia"
Rusher: "What do you like about Philadelphia?"
PNM: "Not much. I'm actually from the suburbs so I don't go into the city."

Better conversation:
Rusher: "Where are you from"
PNM: "The Philadelphia area. I miss it, but am so glad that I chose to go to this university."
Rusher: "What do you like about Philadelphia?"
PNM: "Well, the cheese steaks of course! But I really like the history of the city. Have you ever been to Philly?"

[navane]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Average conversation:
Rusher: "Where are you from"
PNM: "Philadelphia"
Rusher: "What do you like about Philadelphia?"
PNM: "Not much. I'm actually from the suburbs so I don't go into the city."

Better conversation:
Rusher: "Where are you from"
PNM: "The Philadelphia area. I miss it, but am so glad that I chose to go to this university."
Rusher: "What do you like about Philadelphia?"
PNM: "Well, the cheese steaks of course! But I really like the history of the city. Have you ever been to Philly?"

Excellent example, MaggieXi!

elizey7, Do you see what's going on here? From conversation #1, there was so little offered back that the Rusher has to scramble to come up with a follow-up question. In conversation #2, the PNM has given her Rusher a number of things to talk about -- why she chose that university, cheese steaks, history, and going to Philly/travel.

Get it? People want to hang out with other people who are fun and interesting.