Hmmmm. Let me chime in here a bit. Fraternity men will eagerly commit to you if they like you enough, and understand that you like them in return.
Here are some guidelines:
1. Just because someone hooks up with you doesn't mean they like you all that much, especially if drunk. Even when they pay a lot of attention to you and call you.
2. Men even more than women can disassociate feelings from physical encounters.
3. Its not so much a question of whether a guy is ready for committment or not, its whether he is ready for a committment with YOU.
How many times will someone give someone the I-don't-want-to-be serious-right-now speech only to turn around and start dating someone seriously almost right away! (Hint: We all mentally rehearse that speech.) Why? They liked the other person more than you.
It sucks but it happens to us all. So lets not sugar coat it and make it seem like an age thing, college thing, or even guy thing. Its a like thing.
Kevin, you are way to nice
you'll date more girls if you are a bit more callous
Women like that
We, Fraternity men, make excellent friends in that we usually are partying and if you hang out with us will be hanging out with a bunch of guys that like to have fun and are paying attention to you. Sounds good to me
I like hanging out with groups of girls . . . especially when I am the lone guy.
About our friends being more important: Again it depends on how much we like you. I have seen the biggest player type guys miss the social equivalent of Super Bowl parties to hang out with their girlfriend, and perish the thought, her parents. Why? Because he was really into her.
If we want to do other things more, well it means we are more into those other things than the girl. But there are probably other girls out there we would be more into than those things . . . if that makes any kind of sense.
About us saying we like you and then freaking out . . . its kind of the role you know? When we fall into the dating- boyfriend pattern we are kinda obligated to be supportive, caring, and say sweet things. A lot of time its pillow talk.
(shrug) So when we freak we are experiencing a kind of cognitive dissonance. Between where the role seems to be taking us and how we really feel about you.
Well g'night