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Sorority Recruitment Recruitment event and bid day ideas, membership retention, publicity, recruitment policies, etc.


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  #16  
Old 09-08-2017, 10:40 AM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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^^^^Yes.

So many new members come here when they have been in a chapter for A WEEK AND ARE FREAKING OUT because "omg we are not connecting and I do not feel at home."

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  #17  
Old 09-08-2017, 10:48 AM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Social media plays a big part in this.

I was active circa 2004. FB was in its infancy.

If you got a bid to your second or third choice, and you were salty about it, you only got that "fear of missing out" re: your strong chapter fave at an event. Like if you saw them at Greek Week, or they won Songfest and you were there and you got third. Or at actual bid day. So if you got Chi O and really wanted Kappa, you really only were like "omg love Kappaaaaaa" when you saw them out.

Then FB came on the scene. Then the fear of missing out and wanting another chapter was available to you all the time. All the Kappas post pics of Thursday night, and you could log on at anytime, see it in your feed, and boom, "omgg whyyyy am I not a Kappa!" and cue sadness.

Now we have that AND Instagram, Snapchat, etc. So if you really wanted Kappa, you are never far from that crummy feeling. Kappas do not just post pics. Now they post Snap/IG live stories of that awesome date party. So you somehow feel crummier.

These things are not bad and Kappa is not bad for posting it. But it not help you to feel better about where you are.

Tip: take a day or two to unplug. It is hard. Hard for me and I'm 32. But your perspective changes when you are not exposing yourself to all things first choice group all the time.
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  #18  
Old 09-08-2017, 11:01 AM
clemsongirl clemsongirl is offline
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When you see girls in your chapter posting about how happy they are to be AOIIs or DPhiEs or whatever and you don't feel that way, whether they feel that way or are just putting on an act for the internet is irrelevant. When they post about how much they love their big and how their big is the best big ever!!1! and you don't feel that way, it reinforces your feelings of inadequacy. You start to wonder what's wrong with you that you don't feel the same way everyone else on social media is, even though the people who aren't happy either aren't posting or are putting on a front because they feel the same way you do.
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  #19  
Old 09-08-2017, 11:14 AM
commuter commuter is offline
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I have become friends at work with a fellow recent grad from my university who was a member of a top tier/very strong recruiting chapter who told me that PNMs never talk to their weak recruiters who are forced to become RCs or are banished to the kitchen during recruitment. She said all the top tier chapters do this so what PNMs see during rush is not exactly what they get on bid day.
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  #20  
Old 09-08-2017, 11:24 AM
DGTess DGTess is offline
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Ok. Gotta say it.

In my years of reading posts on GreekChat, I've seldom - if ever - seen a woman say she was too good for this or that chapter. There may have been a few implied, but ...

I wonder how many are reading too much into it.

If the woman went on a date, and came and home saying "we really didn't connect", would she mean "I am too good for that person"? No.

Sure, some chapters are better rushers. Some people are better rushers (I was awful, and still am). But not feeling a "connection" is a lot more, I think, that this board gives credit for.

And I'd bet even the concept of "tiers" falls away outside the south.

Just my $0.02.
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  #21  
Old 09-08-2017, 12:04 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Originally Posted by DGTess View Post

And I'd bet even the concept of "tiers" falls away outside the south.

Just my $0.02.
No, it does not, at least not at some schools. When I traveled for my sorority as a consultant (granted, it was many years ago), tiers were just as strong at some schools in the Midwest and Southwest as they are at SEC schools. I was surprised given that I grew up in the SEC world. My cousin left an SEC school to go to school out West and tiers were and still are very fierce at her alma mater.

I've written recs in recent years for friends whose daughters have gone to Univ. Arizona and Univ. Oklahoma, among others, and I have sisters whose daughters have gone to USC and other non-Southern schools and the stories they've reported back tell me that tiers definitely still exist. Univ. Kansas is another school where tiers are in place; had a sister's daughter pledge there this fall. I think any school outside the South with an intense Greek system definitely has the tier thing going on!

Last edited by NYCMS; 09-08-2017 at 12:26 PM.
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  #22  
Old 09-10-2017, 09:44 PM
BraveMaroon BraveMaroon is offline
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I think that "I didn't feel a connection" is shorthand for "I wasn't feeling it here, but I don't want to be specific about why". In fact, the PNM may not even know why.

I'm sure some of it is gut feeling, some of it is about wanting to belong to the "best group", and sometimes, it's just luck of the draw. You may get rushed by the exact wrong girl. You get picked up by Marathon Runner Mary, and the sister right next to her, Baking Blogger Betsy, would have been your best conversation of the day.

It happens.

While I believe it's possible to make instant connections with people you've just met, it's happened to me only a handful of times in my life, and I'm grateful for all of them.

But, most of my most important relationships have been built over days, weeks and months.
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  #23  
Old 07-27-2018, 09:08 AM
carnation carnation is offline
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This is a great read for PNMs! Especially the part about social media.
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  #24  
Old 07-27-2018, 09:44 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by gatordeltapgh View Post
As I continue my alumnae journey and maybe because I'm getting older (eeekk), it has become a bit more heartbreaking to see that sometimes the young women who need the sorority experience the most are the ones that sometimes get left behind.

When I think of the collective power our NPC groups (and the other councils too) have to transform the lives of young women I am in awe.

I have advised that young woman who was shy and watched her find confidence in herself and her abilities. I've also advised that top of the class go getter and watched her accelerate the pace at which she achieved her goals.

In reality, while we all want to have strong successful chapters (however we define success), those other chapters might be exemplifying the values of our founders a bit more deeply by providing a meaningful and potentially transformative experience to those needing it most.

There is room for everyone if we could break free of the need to all be the best at all times. Hard concept for many 18-22 year olds, hard concept for many adults.

For me if you have a chapter of debutantes - rock on! If you have a chapter of future computer programmers - excellent! If you have a chapter with both - magical!

At the end of the day when we live our values and mission, we the sorority women of the world are transforming lives and promoting the best of the sorority experience together!
I’m going to make this about me for a minute. :-D

I was one of those shy, sheltered girls. Too many people in my HS didn’t realize I had grown and changed since 7th grade. Or maybe I was just a flavor they didn’t care for. At any rate, you could count the number of dates I’d been on and parties I attended on one hand.

When I got to college it was a wonderful new start. There was a great mix of girls on my dorm floor and I felt liked and accepted without trying too hard or pretending I was someone I was not. That year before I pledged a sorority helped me to grow and be confident about my choices.

However - if I had been thrown into sorority rush at our school before even having a class or meeting people, I’m sure all I would have cared about is “which sorority will make me popular?” whether it was a fit for me or not. And if I had been rejected from that chapter, it would have just been further confirmation to me that I was a geek who was never going to have a social life - even if I had met other chapters who had liked me as I was.

It’s easy to look from our vantage point and tell girls to give a chapter a chance. It’s harder if you jump back into your own 17-18 year old self.
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  #25  
Old 07-28-2018, 12:12 AM
1964Alum 1964Alum is offline
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Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
I’m going to make this about me for a minute. :-D

I was one of those shy, sheltered girls. Too many people in my HS didn’t realize I had grown and changed since 7th grade. Or maybe I was just a flavor they didn’t care for. At any rate, you could count the number of dates I’d been on and parties I attended on one hand.

When I got to college it was a wonderful new start. There was a great mix of girls on my dorm floor and I felt liked and accepted without trying too hard or pretending I was someone I was not. That year before I pledged a sorority helped me to grow and be confident about my choices.

However - if I had been thrown into sorority rush at our school before even having a class or meeting people, I’m sure all I would have cared about is “which sorority will make me popular?” whether it was a fit for me or not. And if I had been rejected from that chapter, it would have just been further confirmation to me that I was a geek who was never going to have a social life - even if I had met other chapters who had liked me as I was.

It’s easy to look from our vantage point and tell girls to give a chapter a chance. It’s harder if you jump back into your own 17-18 year old self.

Mine was/is a strong recruiting chapter, as was my other pref. But here's the thing. No mater whether you get your first choice or your initial last, it takes a lot of time and working with your sisters before you establish the strong bonds we all are looking for. My strongest bonds didn't come until we were all living in the house together, and even then, the ones I became closest to were not sisters I would have initially predicted would be my best friends. Our rush was deferred for a year, which gave us PNMs as well as the sororities more time to look each other over. So a lot of the sorting went on beforehand, and we had a better idea of the "personalities" of the individual chapters before the first open house. Even so, the dynamics of each house changes at least somewhat over time, so there is more fluidity within each group which one initially might imagine. The "feeling it" IMO doesn't come in a genuine way until much later and also depends on the extent that each member is wiling to put the work into it.
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  #26  
Old 07-28-2018, 12:57 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Originally Posted by 1964Alum View Post
Mine was/is a strong recruiting chapter, as was my other pref. But here's the thing. No mater whether you get your first choice or your initial last, it takes a lot of time and working with your sisters before you establish the strong bonds we all are looking for. My strongest bonds didn't come until we were all living in the house together, and even then, the ones I became closest to were not sisters I would have initially predicted would be my best friends. Our rush was deferred for a year, which gave us PNMs as well as the sororities more time to look each other over. So a lot of the sorting went on beforehand, and we had a better idea of the "personalities" of the individual chapters before the first open house. Even so, the dynamics of each house changes at least somewhat over time, so there is more fluidity within each group which one initially might imagine. The "feeling it" IMO doesn't come in a genuine way until much later and also depends on the extent that each member is wiling to put the work into it.
Agree. I think given how big some pledge classes and chapters are that it could be easy for the girls who are a bit shy to have a harder time or the girls who pledge a chapter filled with tons of "hometown girls" to feel left out. For some, just being in a huge chapter can be overwhelming even if they're the most outgoing person.

I think a big issue these days is the expectation that connections happen immediately. Technology has played a major role in younger people's lives and how they look for immediacy of what they want to happen since they can do so much without waiting. It's a big reason that college student counselors see so many students who begin suffering from anxiety that's been compounded for some students by having helicopter parents who did everything for them so they're not as skilled at making things happen on their own. Perhaps there's also an air of thinking that being in a sorority means instant friends - social media can drive that feeling.

I felt connected to a few girls when I pledged because we connected by being in the same rushee group, but the real sense of connection came when I moved into the chapter house a year later. Those three years of living in the house were incredibly special. I know today that chapters are so big that girls are lucky to get to live one year in the house.
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