Rushing in the Fall 2009 as a Transfer Student

[StarlightDave]

Hi,

I am a little scared to write this. I am unsure of how people might respond. I am a transfer student and a little older than most college kids. I had to really work hard to get where I am. Currently I am honors student at a community college. I have owned and lost seven businesses, worked with several business minded individuals, and not slept sometimes for a few days to get it done. I have always wanted to be part of a fraternity. I currently am looking to transfer to one of the following schools: USC, Penn, Harvard, University of Richmond, University of Houston, Babson, Syracuse University, University of California, Berkeley, Villanova University, Northeastern University, Cornell University, or Emory University.

I am, have been told that I look good, smart, and have much potential by many people. I am socially awkward around people, but will do pretty much anything to achieve the dreams I have in my heart. I will be 26 when I transfer, but I really look about 19. IN fact every time I go to the club. I still get carded and accused of having a fake ID. I am really curious. I want to have a solid life. And I hope to have solid friends that I can count on. I have four fraternities in mind. And I just wanted to hear what real members thought.

[FSUZeta]

first off, don't make your mind up about a particular group until you meet them. you have listed quite a few colleges, and it is possible that none of the 4 fraternities you are interested in are at all those schools.

to present yourself in the best light and to expand your possiblities, you need to figure out why you think you are socially awkward, what makes you that way, and if there is anything you can do to remedy it. practice meeting new people and carrying on conversations with them-ask them questions.everyone's favorite topic is themselves.

you will be going into recruitment with a bit of a handicap(your age) so you need to shine in all other areas. keep your options open & don't settle on any one particular fraternity from the bat. maybe some of the gc gentleman will come on and give you some advice, mano y mano.

[StarlightDave]

That made me smile. You are great. "everyone's favorite topic is themselves." Well if I could talk the way I write I would not have such a difficult time. It just is hard for me to physically talk to people that I don't know and "click". I am a little confused. But I just have trouble with it.

[FSUZeta]

when you are in a conversation with someone are you worrying about what you are going to say next, rather than concentrating on and really listening to what the other person is saying? i think a lot of us fall into that trap from time to time-worrying about the thing we are going to say next.

you write well and must be a sharp guy, since you are an honors student, so you can communicate your thoughts and ideas. you are just more successful doing so in the written word, rather than the spoken word.

have you taken any speech classes in school? or any communications classes? taking one of those classes might help you learn how to organize your thoughts and get over any anxiety you might have with expressing yourself verbally.

you can practice speaking with strangers to help you begin to understand how to start up and carry on a conversation. try to strike up a conversation when you are standing in line at the grocery store, or with the cashier. any place where you are standing around or waiting(like the doctors office, or getting your oil changed) can be an opportunity to practice. the more you practice, the better you will understand what works and what doesn't and you might become more at ease speaking with strangers. the nice thing about practicing on strangers is that you most likely would not run into them ever again, so there's no reason to be embarrassed if you are unsuccessful in striking up a conversation with them.

[Firehouse]

FSUZeat is giving yuou excellent advice. You mentioned a long list of schools, but say you've already picked out four fraternities. Fraternity chapters vary widely from campus to campus. Wait until you choose a school, and then look at the fraternities on tht campus.
No one is going to ask you how old you are, but they will ask you what year you are in school. Don't lie, but don't volunteer more than you need to say.

[lucgreek]

Depending on the school, many of the fraternities might not even consider you just because of age. The only people I know/seen go through rush without considerations of being an older age are people from a military background.

Regardless, make sure you realize you can accept the shit given to you by guys who will be 5, 6, or even 7 years younger than you. I also don't know if going to mixers is exactly going to be something you like to do. Plus sorority girls might not have a good impression of you solely on your age. Make sure you're doing this for the now rather than trying to relive a college experience as if you were 19/20.

Good luck on this and keep an open-mind about EVERY house.

[StarlightDave]

It makes me feel appreciated to hear all your responses. You guys are inspiring. I am curious. My problem is not opening up a conversation; rather it is the point of taking it somewhere. I just feel "lost" when it comes to that. And I do worry about what I am going to say. It is confusing. But I think a lot about what someone else is thinking about me.

"make sure you realize you can accept the shit given to you by guys who will be 5, 6, or even 7 years younger than you. I also don't know if going to mixers is exactly going to be something you like to do. Plus sorority girls might not have a good impression of you solely on your age. Make sure you're doing this for the now rather than trying to relive a college experience as if you were 19/20."

I admit part of me wanting to rush is so that I can have a fun college experience. It is confusing. But I will take anything I have to because I understand that although I may be older than the other guys; they are much older in other ways. I hope that is what I am trying to say.

One way I have been thinking about this is to come up with things that I can offer. First, I would say that although I am socially awkward, I work out, am an honors scholar, tall, and attractive. And although I am not the most athletic person now, I was when I was a kid. I used to play baseball, basketball, football, soccer, and in High School I was a wide receiver. So, I can learn. I am a fast learner. I struggled to build a company while living in my van in Arizona. I struggled. And I made it work. I can look at the dirt on the wall and see the stars. After I graduate I will be really rich. So, I will donate lots of money and build chapter houses in areas that are in lack of resources. So I have much potential to be a cool guy. Also, I planned not mentioning my age because I look 18-19. I just wanted to share that. I am curious. What do you guys think?

[pshsx1]

Don't let age bother you at all. Two of the guys that rushed with me are 24 and 2 of us were 17 then. If you find a group of good guys, they'll let you in.

And for conversation.. Don't try so hard to think of stuff to talk about. And it seems like, with the past you've had, you wouldn't have to much of a problem.

[lucgreek]

Your story is good, though since you aren't a traditional student what you did in high school really doesn't matter that much. What you've done after high school is what you are going to have to focus on.

Don't let paranoia get the better of you. If you aren't confident, it will definitely show in the brothers and can lead them into thinking you're strange.

[PANTHERTEKE]

Am I the only one who thinks the OP is full of shit?

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by PANTHERTEKE

Am I the only one who thinks the OP is full of shit?

I just ignore it. He acts as the same damn person as this old guy who was from Los Angeles that went through rush. He got cut by everyone.

[StarlightDave]

"Because we know! When we add up all those inches! That’s going to make the f*cking difference between winning and losing … between living … and dying. I’ll tell you this, in any fight! It’s the guy willing to die, who’s going to win that inch …"
--U KNOW ;P



Live in your van braw, and build a company that can make $1,500 dollars in a day. Get grades that give you status of honors scholar, curl 60 lbs weekly, date a professional ballerina, then do your elephant walk ... My family, my friends, know... And so do I ... I am going to be the one that you will never meet, but will want to ... And I understand that many are full of BS, so ... believe what you want. I respect you still. But, I don't like you and am upset you would judge me. To everyone else. It makes me smile to hear your remarks, you are great. I am great. Greek is great. Most people would think malign thoughts. However, I would still help you, if I saw you needed the help.