A Holiday Thought from someone with no living family

James · #1 12-24-2002, 07:31 PM

I wanted to leave you all with a holiday thought as you spend what is traditionally considered a Family day with your Family.

You may not always like your relatives and many times that dislike will be deserved. But the holiday season is the one time of year that people act like they are supposed to act.

Its the one time of the year that people behave as if they are the people they really think they should be.

I lost my mother at age four. I lost my father at age eleven and my legal guardian shortly after attaining my majority.

I can honestly say that I would dearly love the luxury of being able to have conflict with my parents like many of you do.

But alas, they are dead. So both conflict and love are impossible.

So as someone that must spend holidays alone in a form of spiritual isolation I give you aword of advice.

Spend a little extra time cherishing your reltives this year. And remember that time never offers us a second chance . . at anything.

So what you put off saying or doing now, may never get said or done.

So seize this prescious moment and express a little more love or caring.

And when all else fails, fake it. Act as if you aren't angry and bitter. Because when you finally get over it, it may be too late to show you care.

Give them an extra hug for me.

Have a Happy and Safe Holiday Season!

AlphaSigLana · #2 12-24-2002, 07:47 PM

Those are very nice words, and to think I thought you were insensitive.
I hope you don't spend Christmas all alone.

Rudey · #3 12-24-2002, 08:14 PM

Shit. I just want to hug you right now.

-Rudey
--I hope you enjoy the holidays dude.

greeklawgirl · #4 12-24-2002, 08:39 PM

James, thank you. I unexpectedly lost my beloved grandfather one year ago tomorrow, and all I could think when I read your message was: how true, how true.

How I miss him. I know I will be hugging everyone *just a little bit tighter* tomorrow. I hope you all will be hugging yours a little tighter, too.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

#5 12-24-2002, 09:52 PM

12 years ago I too lost my father and the Holidays are always a weird time for my mom and me because things aren't just the same. Though it seems like we lose someone special every year, I can take comfort in knowing that there are those out there that I can still cherish and remember during this season.

James, thank you so much for your holiday wishes and I wish the same for you and your loved ones.

KappaTarzan · #6 12-24-2002, 10:38 PM

james, thank you for awakening everyone to the real meaning of the holiday season..

with that said you should come spend xmas with my family clan...

AOIIalum · #7 12-24-2002, 10:42 PM

Thanks for sharing, James. We can never be reminded too many times of what is *really* important during the holidays, our family and our friends.

My father died 7 1/2 years ago, and I still want to pick up that one extra box of his favorite chocolate covered cherries for him. It's little things like that which makes my heart ache at this time of the year.

One of my sons reminded me today that it's not about the gifts you get, it's the gifts you give. That means more to me than any of the boxes now under our tree, ya know? Enjoy your family, enjoy your friends, enjoy your life. It's too darned short sometimes.

Happy holidays and hugs to you all,
Christin

LuaBlanca · #8 12-24-2002, 11:10 PM

I was just sitting back and thinking...."it's surprising no one has mentioned much about the "true meaning of christmas" on GC," etc. etc. and then I read your post and just about melted. I think everyone on the boards wants to invite you over to spend the holidays with their families! Thanks for the reminder James! May the loving spirit of the holidays, and the love from your friends here at GC, keep you company!

OUlioness01 · #9 12-24-2002, 11:40 PM

James, thank you. I lost my mother 7 years ago and ever since i have treasured more and more the time spent with my family, if for nothing else to tell my younger cousins about the aunt they never knew. i hope you have somewhere to go to celebrate this holiday, and all holidays.

juniorgrrl · #10 12-25-2002, 12:58 AM

How true.

I lost my father when I was 14. I would give anything to just hug him and say "I love you" one more time.

My mother's best friend died on December 14, leaving behind 4 sons, two of which are age 17 and 14. My heart aches for those boys not having their mother, who truly was a saint, especially right now.

During my teenage years I was very resentful of those who fought bitterly with their parents, who openly defied them and rebeled for no apparent reason. I was jealous of those who had 2 (seemingly) loving parents and didn't appreciate them. I know that I've complained about my mom here from time to time, but I wouldnt' trade her for anything in the world. She was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago, and she seems to be in remission, thank God.

I guess what I'm saying, is, take it from someone who has prematurely lost a loved one: dont' ever take anyone for granted. Love them every day. Tell them that. Don't wait for the Holiday season.

Merry Christmas everyone!

KSig RC · #11 12-25-2002, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
I wanted to leave you all with a holiday thought as you spend what is traditionally considered a Family day with your Family.

You may not always like your relatives and many times that dislike will be deserved. But the holiday season is the one time of year that people act like they are supposed to act.

Its the one time of the year that people behave as if they are the people they really think they should be.

I lost my mother at age four. I lost my father at age eleven and my legal guardian shortly after attaining my majority.

I can honestly say that I would dearly love the luxury of being able to have conflict with my parents like many of you do.

But alas, they are dead. So both conflict and love are impossible.

So as someone that must spend holidays alone in a form of spiritual isolation I give you aword of advice.

Spend a little extra time cherishing your reltives this year. And remember that time never offers us a second chance . . at anything.

So what you put of saying or doing now, may never get said or done.

So seize this prescious moment and express a little more love or caring.

And when all else fails, fake it. Act as if you aren't angry and bitter. Because when you finally get over it, it may be too late to show you care.

Give them an extra hug for me.

Have a Happy and Safe Holiday Season!

quoted so everyone can re-read . . . AEKDB James

ZTAngel · #12 12-25-2002, 09:11 PM

Oh my gosh, I have tears in my eyes now. I am thankful that both my parents are still here. Although my family might get on my nerves from time to time, I am still greatful to be able to spend the holidays with them.

KSigkid · #13 12-25-2002, 09:49 PM

True dude.

People just don't know what they have, or have no perspective one what they do have.

Have a good holiday bro.

AEKDB
Collin

33girl · #14 12-26-2002, 12:51 PM

Hey James - here's a big hug for you. [O]

I lost my mom 3 years ago and holidays can be a truly sucky time. It sucks more when I hear one of my best friends talking shit about how she hates her mom and I just want to smack her a couple times or so.

No they are not perfect but neither are you - but they are your family. You won't have that relationship with anyone else, and there are things you will share you can never share with anyone else. So if there's a problem, at least TRY to get past it.

Here's hoping all our dearly departeds manage to run into each other somewhere along the way and share a story or two.

damasa · #15 12-26-2002, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
I wanted to leave you all with a holiday thought as you spend what is traditionally considered a Family day with your Family.

You may not always like your relatives and many times that dislike will be deserved. But the holiday season is the one time of year that people act like they are supposed to act.

Its the one time of the year that people behave as if they are the people they really think they should be.

I lost my mother at age four. I lost my father at age eleven and my legal guardian shortly after attaining my majority.

I can honestly say that I would dearly love the luxury of being able to have conflict with my parents like many of you do.

But alas, they are dead. So both conflict and love are impossible.

So as someone that must spend holidays alone in a form of spiritual isolation I give you aword of advice.

Spend a little extra time cherishing your reltives this year. And remember that time never offers us a second chance . . at anything.

So what you put of saying or doing now, may never get said or done.

So seize this prescious moment and express a little more love or caring.

And when all else fails, fake it. Act as if you aren't angry and bitter. Because when you finally get over it, it may be too late to show you care.

Give them an extra hug for me.

Have a Happy and Safe Holiday Season!

James -

I know I probably get on your nerves sometimes, well, probably a lot, but I'll think of you during this holiday season.

Blaine