HELP! Can I rush a new sorority!?

[33girl]

Oh, we had people who used the "I have to study" excuse to get out of mixers too (or who just stayed for the at-the-time required half hour and went home). Usually they were older sisters who were a little scared of the new and different fraternities we were mixing with that weren't the old reliables. We all have some lame sisters. It's the truth.

But let's face facts: these policies - super easy pledgeship, getting rid of/restricting mandatory events, and making it hard (if not impossible) to get rid of lame pledges or sisters - aren't being made by current students. They're being made by the national councils and HQs who on one hand are terrified of getting sued for hazing, emotional distress, what have you, and on the other hand are scared to death of being perceived as politically incorrect or elitist. It's nice of them to believe that just getting a bid to a wonderful group will turn your attitude around and make you a responsible person who gives your all to your sorority but life just isn't a bowl of cherries like that.

Like als463 said, the NPHC groups don't seem to have this problem...at least to this extent...and they're taking members that are the same age. So I think to just say "this generation sucks" is a little bit too pat.

hc: I don't know how mp3s work at all.

[KSUViolet06]

Haven't a lot of NPCs overhauled their NM programs lately?

We had a thread about the shift from NMed to Total Membership Ed and going toward a program that truly prepares NMs to be active participants in chapter life up through graduation.

I actually really like our NM program. You are held to the same participation standards as initiated girls and you are expected to get involved. It is a good balance of "we loooove you" and "you are undertaking a very serious lifetime commitment."

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Haven't a lot of NPCs overhauled their NM programs lately?

I think some of them are overhauling them back to what they were to begin with before they got all touchy-feely. Apparently (as seen by the OP) it isn't working fast enough.

I completely disapprove of NMs having all the same privileges as initiated sisters (voting, attending all chapter meetings, holding regular chapter offices) - IMO it takes away the rite of passage-ness of initiation. But that's been hashed out a zillion times on here.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

EXACTLY.

When I was active, I went to everything, and so did the rest of my chapter... without question. Unless you had a wedding, sporting event, or work that you just couldn't get out of, excuses were unheard of.

NOW... I have never heard so many excuses from girls. People make up excuses so that they don't have to go to MIXERS! Why would you want to miss out on the fun stuff? And sometimes, it's because they're "studying"... on a Saturday night. Ironically, the chapter's GPA was a whole lot higher when I was active than it is now, and we had twice as many mixers as they do now.

And not too long ago, I had put on a recruitment workshop. Only half of the chapter attended. A few girls had legitimate excuses, but when 15 girls in a chapter of 27 show up, what's the point?

A girl I know from another school who is active in her chapter right now told me that they have started making certain events optional to attend, which, as she put it, kind of sucks. It's good in that she finds that the only girls who show up to things are the ones who truly want to be there. However... it also showed her who doesn't really care, and who's taking up space in the chapter, and not leaving room for potential members who want to contribute something. But now, there's nothing they can do about it because these girls aren't required to go to anything.

The thing that confuses me most about this... why would you want to pay hundreds (and in some cases, thousands) of dollars for.. well.. nothing?

I agree!

Regarding studying on a Saturday night. This may depend on the specific person/major. The reason I say that is because I was in business management with my first degree with an HR emphasis. Every one of those classes is group work and are built on 4 phase projects that are roughly 100 pages of work each. Well if you get to phase 3 and realized you goofed on something in phase 1, then that also puts off phase 2 and you have to redo everything, otherwise phase 3 is off and phase 4 is impossible to complete. Such a scenario happened to me with two of my groups. It wasnt unusual at all when a Monday deadline was approaching to have the school library tables completely taken up by groups of business students from open to close--even on Friday & Saturday nights. With how the classes were structured you kinda had to meet when everyone in your group could meet which meant sorority life gets put on the backburner. Especially if the class is required to graduate and is offered only once a year. My last semester I had three group oriented classes that were this intense (about killed me). My instructors had to write letters for me to the chapter, and turn in a course syllabus for each class because the chapter "excuse collector" and her advisor were giving me problems. I'm not saying this was your student's case. My situation was probably much different from most majors, but such an excuse COULD be possible.

Anywho, I had a student last summer tell me she couldnt come to summer recruitment retreat because her car broke down and didnt have a ride. Her car broke down two weeks before retreat and she knew about retreat for atleast three months. She also lived in an area that was close to other members that she could have gotten a ride with to retreat. She was not excused and I was not amused. Another student actually flat out told me she couldnt come because she didnt have time. Our advisory board chair about busted a vein over that one!

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Oh, we had people who used the "I have to study" excuse to get out of mixers too (or who just stayed for the at-the-time required half hour and went home). Usually they were older sisters who were a little scared of the new and different fraternities we were mixing with that weren't the old reliables. We all have some lame sisters. It's the truth.

But let's face facts: these policies - super easy pledgeship, getting rid of/restricting mandatory events, and making it hard (if not impossible) to get rid of lame pledges or sisters - aren't being made by current students. They're being made by the national councils and HQs who on one hand are terrified of getting sued for hazing, emotional distress, what have you, and on the other hand are scared to death of being perceived as politically incorrect or elitist. It's nice of them to believe that just getting a bid to a wonderful group will turn your attitude around and make you a responsible person who gives your all to your sorority but life just isn't a bowl of cherries like that.

Like als463 said, the NPHC groups don't seem to have this problem...at least to this extent...and they're taking members that are the same age. So I think to just say "this generation sucks" is a little bit too pat.

hc: I don't know how mp3s work at all.

You are not wrong, lady. AST rules say that you MAY NOT vote on ANY new member again for ANY reason unless they are brought up to standards board and standards board decides their punishment is to be voted on. In essence, it completely takes away from our ability to decide. On top of that, since our Greek Life Adviser on campus gets a cash bonus for placing all girls who go through recruitment, we can be (and have been) given mandatory QAs and snap bids. Don't like it? Too bad. You don't get the option to refuse them. At all. So we get stuck with girls who are wet blankets, who can't put together a coherent sentence, who drink like fish or who have slept with every Sigma Pi on the block and think it makes them cool....and we have no way to get them out.

We were recently put in a situation where we found out (three days before initiation) that some of our new girls had been bullying other ones pretty intensely, to the point where several wanted to drop. Because our president had kept it a secret from the chapter, we found out very late and were basically told, "it's too late to do anything. Just suck it up." Each girl that was a problem has CONTINUED to be a problem in our chapter, and we would be significantly better off without. But at some point, you can't revoke real membership without a very real reason...and "being someone that everyone in all GLCs hates, giving us a bad name with your attitude and making us look like bitches" don't really cut it.

If we had been able to drop them in a moment's notice while they were new members, our entire chapter would be better off.

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

You are not wrong, lady. AST rules say that you MAY NOT vote on ANY new member again for ANY reason unless they are brought up to standards board and standards board decides their punishment is to be voted on. In essence, it completely takes away from our ability to decide. On top of that, since our Greek Life Adviser on campus gets a cash bonus for placing all girls who go through recruitment, we can be (and have been) given mandatory QAs and snap bids. Don't like it? Too bad. You don't get the option to refuse them. At all. So we get stuck with girls who are wet blankets, who can't put together a coherent sentence, who drink like fish or who have slept with every Sigma Pi on the block and think it makes them cool....and we have no way to get them out.

We were recently put in a situation where we found out (three days before initiation) that some of our new girls had been bullying other ones pretty intensely, to the point where several wanted to drop. Because our president had kept it a secret from the chapter, we found out very late and were basically told, "it's too late to do anything. Just suck it up." Each girl that was a problem has CONTINUED to be a problem in our chapter, and we would be significantly better off without. But at some point, you can't revoke real membership without a very real reason...and "being someone that everyone in all GLCs hates, giving us a bad name with your attitude and making us look like bitches" don't really cut it.

If we had been able to drop them in a moment's notice while they were new members, our entire chapter would be better off.

THAT is just effed up.

[BrandNewAdvisor]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

On top of that, since our Greek Life Adviser on campus gets a cash bonus for placing all girls who go through recruitment, we can be (and have been) given mandatory QAs and snap bids.

Wow that's just awful.

One year we had this PNM with a horrible reputation come through, serious coke problem, grade risk and a revolving bedroom door. The girl needed rehab way more than a sorority. All of the sororities cut her on the first night, unheard of at my uncompetitive school. Each head of recruitment got a phone call (at 4am!) from our Greek Life Adviser asking us to change our minds and telling us how horrible we are to all cut this girl. I may have said no, the chapter has made a decision already and hung up in the middle of her lecture.

We can drop new members, but it's a long and complicated process. It needs to be started the 2nd or 3rd week of the new member period to get all the signatures and bring it up to the regional level in time. We had two girls one year that were not showing up without excuses and overall being irresponsible we (on advice of the chapter advisor) waited until 3 weeks until initiation and we couldn't get rid of them. They desistered not even a month after initiation.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

On top of that, since our Greek Life Adviser on campus gets a cash bonus for placing all girls who go through recruitment, we can be (and have been) given mandatory QAs and snap bids. Don't like it? Too bad. You don't get the option to refuse them. At all. So we get stuck with girls who are wet blankets, who can't put together a coherent sentence, who drink like fish or who have slept with every Sigma Pi on the block and think it makes them cool....and we have no way to get them out.

Holy isht. Does your HQ know about this? (I forget, are you the only national on your campus?)

More to the point, do parents paying tuition (and whose students may have zip interest in Greek life) know that this may be where their money is going?

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Holy isht. Does your HQ know about this? (I forget, are you the only national on your campus?)

More to the point, do parents paying tuition (and whose students may have zip interest in Greek life) know that this may be where their money is going?

I find that to be rather outrageous as well.

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Don't like it? Too bad. You don't get the option to refuse them. At all. So we get stuck with girls who are wet blankets, who can't put together a coherent sentence, who drink like fish or who have slept with every Sigma Pi on the block and think it makes them cool....and we have no way to get them out.

If we had been able to drop them in a moment's notice while they were new members, our entire chapter would be better off.

Maybe(certainly),I'm naive, but...that's insane

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

If we had been able to drop them in a moment's notice while they were new members, our entire chapter would be better off.

Better yet, having the option to refuse new members in the first place! The bonus for the GLA is so messed up. How can you work your way up to become a GLA and truly believe Greek Life is for everyone? It's not.

[MaggieXi]

I'm not surprised.
I volunteered with a chapter where the university's greek life advisor was trying to force the chapter to invite PNMs who had been cut "to give them a second chance" and then when the chapter refused he became a huge jerk about it. Later we found out that he had tried to force other GLOs to do the same thing.

[fantASTic]

Thanks for the sympathy, everyone. I agree; it's messed. up.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Holy isht. Does your HQ know about this? (I forget, are you the only national on your campus?)

More to the point, do parents paying tuition (and whose students may have zip interest in Greek life) know that this may be where their money is going?

We are NOT the only national on our campus; we have a reasonably large PHC. I have no idea how much the cash bonus is, but even a $50 bonus is too much; this is your job! You should not get a bonus for placing people!

We get HUGE pressure to not cut ANYONE; last year, I think we cut about 5 girls total (not including a girl who had rushed for the FOURTH TIME). And trust me, we got a phone call from the GLA: "How could you do that? You need to pare that list down. You should not be cutting any more than 3 people! This means they might not place!" Keep in mind, we had over 200 girls going through recruitment; not a small number.

I would LOVE for our Nationals to step in...maybe I'll send something off. Who would that go to, though??

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Thanks for the sympathy, everyone. I agree; it's messed. up.



We are NOT the only national on our campus; we have a reasonably large PHC. I have no idea how much the cash bonus is, but even a $50 bonus is too much; this is your job! You should not get a bonus for placing people!

We get HUGE pressure to not cut ANYONE; last year, I think we cut about 5 girls total (not including a girl who had rushed for the FOURTH TIME). And trust me, we got a phone call from the GLA: "How could you do that? You need to pare that list down. You should not be cutting any more than 3 people! This means they might not place!" Keep in mind, we had over 200 girls going through recruitment; not a small number.

I would LOVE for our Nationals to step in...maybe I'll send something off. Who would that go to, though??

Your NPC delegate. Every chapter on campus needs to contact their NPC delegate. That should NOT be happening. Your GLA needs the boot.

[33girl]

I would say your NPC delegate AND your national VP of operations (whatever that's called in AST-land). Ditto all the other groups. Oh, and grab your NPC area advisor while you're at it. This is completely unacceptable.