I Need Help!

[violetpretty]

You remind me of my high school self, at least in attitude. My friends and I dressed like rockstars. I'd regularly wear vinyl pants to school. We were so into Orgy, Videodrone, Margret Heater, Dropkick Murphys, Jepetto, Korn, Coal Chamber, Tool, etc. and we made fun of people who wore polo shirts and khakis from Abercrombie and Fitch and listened to NSYNC, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. It was just SO AWESOME when Limp Bizkit beat out BSB and NSYNC on TRL.

By junior and senior year, I made friends with people "who wore polo shirts and khakis and listened to Britney Spears and NSYNC" and realized I actually had lots in common with them, as in, the people we are on the inside.

I still swore up and down that I wasn't going to join a sorority as a first semester freshman (still had the stereotypes in my head), but I ended up having a class with several sorority women and was sold on going through recruitment when I got to know them as people instead of just labeling them.

I'm not embarassed of who I was in high school. I still love the music I liked in high school, probably because it brings back fun memories. I still love the clothes that I wore, though they packed away in a box because I can't exactly wear vinyl to work and my ass is a little bigger than it was in high school. (And I can't believe how short my shirts were back then!) I realized that the core of my personality is the same, no matter what clothes I wear or what music I listen to.

But there comes a point where you have to realize that people are more than the clothes they wear and the music they listen to. You have to find out who you are, and that shouldn't be a process of "trying on" different stereotypical personas. Just wear what you want and listen to what you want to listen to without worrying about if other people will think you're cool. When you do that, your personality will shine through.

And I don't like DMB either.

One of my friends has this funny facebook bumper sticker that reads: "I'm so indie that I saw a band by myself in an underground room and afterwards I killed them so I would be the only one who knew of their existence."

[33girl]

This all reminds me...as some of you know my longtime boyfriend was a local musician. Hanging out with the people in the music scene, may I add that I LOLED MY HEAD OFF when I realized how much it was like...the Greek scene at my college. There were "tiers," there was guy drama, girl drama, drama between groups, everyone knew everyone else, varying relationship & breakup issues...it cracked me up. And considering the usual response I got when I said I was Greek ("YOU were in a sorority??? You don't seem the type, you're so...cool") I'm sure they would all shit twice and die if they realized how similar it all was.

[KappaFT2]

I have to agree with 33girl here. I remember the good old days... I just wish I could have spent my life there.

[JuliaNJ]

Hey there everyone. I just wanted to give an update to what happened to me this semester.

So, I ended up hanging out with girls who are in Gamma Phi Beta through a few classes. They were all really nice and sweet and cool. I'm going to pledge next semester. I was told by one of the members that it might be hard for me to get accepted, since I'm a junior, and also because I wrote that article a few years ago. I know it might be tough but I really want to pledge.

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

But I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not really sure where the whole dating thing is going (I don't want anything serious but, I have to admit, it has been a lot of fun). I've seen who my real friends are and aren't. And I'm excited to make some new ones.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Hey there everyone. I just wanted to give an update to what happened to me this semester.

So, I ended up hanging out with girls who are in Gamma Phi Beta through a few classes. They were all really nice and sweet and cool. I'm going to pledge next semester. I was told by one of the members that it might be hard for me to get accepted, since I'm a junior, and also because I wrote that article a few years ago. I know it might be tough but I really want to pledge.

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

But I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not really sure where the whole dating thing is going (I don't want anything serious but, I have to admit, it has been a lot of fun). I've seen who my real friends are and aren't. And I'm excited to make some new ones.

Do you mean pledging or rushing? RUSH is the old term for RECRUITMENT, which is the process by which one would, if selected, be offered a big to "pledge" (now it's called New Member Period).

Second, if you are going out with the girls from the sorority, don't be "that girl" who hooks up and has PDA sessions with fraternity guys (or even guys in general....you don't want to be known as the chick who gets drunk and hooks up or has drama). So be careful.

Also, if you are going through Formal Rush, you are rushing all the NPC sororities on campus, not just Gamma Phi Beta (unless you mean informal rush or COB). Just remember that, because it's important to keep an open mind. Plus, it's considered dirty rushing to promise a bid to a girl before or during recruitment. And, you never know for sure what will happen until/unless you have that bid card in your hand.

As for your ex-friends, are you making a big deal of how much you are sacrificing or going through with your music friends, to the GPhiB girls? If you are - stop. Make your time with them about them - as PEOPLE, as friends, and not focus on drama from people who are not being supportive. Lastly, make sure that your friendship and conversations with them do not center on possibly becoming a member. Girls can read that a mile away. If for some reason, you don't get a bid, will you continue to be friends with these girls?

Just some stuff to think about.

[esotericbeauti]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Just do it. If people stop being your friend because you are looking to branch out, then they aren't really good friends, are they?

That being said, since you are asking for advice, I would suggest that you stop thinking or referring to women in sororities as "the enemy". Simply because you don't share a lot of similar interests does not make someone an enemy. If you truly are interested in meeting different types of people, you need to open your mind up and throw all judgments out the window. You may actually learn that you do share common interests or beliefs.

If you want people to accept who YOU are, you need to accept who they are. If you can do that, then I think you should go for it. Just remember that people may need some time to get to know you, and that might take a bit longer since you don't usually associate with Greek members. I would be open with them as to what in Greek life actually interests you.

Agreed. Also, I hope that you arent interested in Greek life only because of the image that they portray. Im not Greek but I am involved in organizations at my campus and something I notice with many people who join organizations Greek or otherwise is that they see the nice clothes, the "fame" and respect they recieve and want to be a part of that. They dont want to join because of the orgs. principles, mission, purpose, and they overlook the hard work and service and RESPOSIBILITIES these groups have. My best advice would be to first do a little soul searching and then if Greek membership is what you truly desire do your research and see which one is truly for you.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

My goodness, you are a Vengeful Veronica.

Seriously, get some counseling for your issues instead of trying to drag a whole sorority of girls into your trainwreck life.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Hey there everyone. I just wanted to give an update to what happened to me this semester.

So, I ended up hanging out with girls who are in Gamma Phi Beta through a few classes. They were all really nice and sweet and cool. I'm going to pledge next semester. I was told by one of the members that it might be hard for me to get accepted, since I'm a junior, and also because I wrote that article a few years ago. I know it might be tough but I really want to pledge.

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

But I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not really sure where the whole dating thing is going (I don't want anything serious but, I have to admit, it has been a lot of fun). I've seen who my real friends are and aren't. And I'm excited to make some new ones.

What does all of your unrelated boy drama have to do with anything?

Some advice: I wouldn't go blabbing about all of your personal and boy drama to the sorority women you are meeting. You might just get yourself labeled as a "drama queen" and end up without a bid. This is particularly true of the way you speak about your "friends."

If you got a bid, and had personal issues with any of your sisters (which everyone has at some point), would you adopt the same "screw them" mentality concerning them?

I think you need to adjust that "chip on your shoulder" attitude before you can become part of anyone's organization.

[bostongreek]

FYI: GC is not your diary.