Should I initiate at a non-local college or try for alumnae initiation elsewhere?

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by newtotheu

I had inquired about alumnae initiation of ABC Sorority before rushing/starting at my college. They e-mailed me today with an application. I know alumnae initiation can be a long-shot. It's a local alumnae group of a different sorority than the on-campus sorority that offered me a bid.

I'm torn on what to do.I'm a non-traditional student, so I would fit in at an alumnae group age-wise and lifestyle-wise I think.

Originally Posted by thetalady

Titchou- she posted "I'm a non-traditional student, so I would fit in at an alumnae group age-wise and lifestyle-wise I think."

Although she may be a freshman, it sounds like she is a good bit older than 18-19. Another bid at a later date from a collegiate chapter doesn't sound like a possibility.

Additionally, not many 18-20 year-old students attempt to apply for AI BEFORE attending a normal NPC recruitment.

[newtotheu]

Originally Posted by thetalady

...Another bid at a later date from a collegiate chapter doesn't sound like a possibility.

I don't think I would have a chance at a collegiate bid again. Partly for my age/life stage and partly since, if I give up my current college's bid, I doubt they would offer me a bid next year.

My local colleges are SEC and I would have no real chance of bids there. Even 18 year olds with 4.0 high school GPAs, perfect personalities, and that look like they just got out of a beauty contest at my local colleges don't all get bids.

[Titchou]

I think maybe she's mixing terminology. Virtual is "traditional" now since the pandemic. And even SEC schools get 20-21 year olds going thru recruitment and getting placed.

I guess my question is - what is it you are looking for in a sorority? If it weren't for Covid and your family situation, where would you be right now?

If you truly believe you won't be in person next semester, you need to sign your papers and move on. Don't drag them along thinking you'll be there and all will be normal...I get the feeling you don't really want to go anyway....just my gut feeling.

[NYCMS]

Originally Posted by newtotheu

My local colleges are SEC and I would have no real chance of bids there. Even 18 year olds with 4.0 high school GPAs, perfect personalities, and that look like they just got out of a beauty contest at my local colleges don't all get bids.

That's not true. The system is now designed that every girl who goes through rush and maximizes their opportunity (ranks the final two houses they attend instead of ranking only one house and refusing to take a bid from the other house), they will get a bid.

Many girls at colleges, especially super competitive SEC colleges, will drop out but claim otherwise to avoid telling the truth....they usually drop out because they didn't like the houses that invited them back, they thought the houses weren't good enough or that they are better than those houses.

Edited: PNM's do get dropped - reputation, grades, social media issues - and the first round of drops are usually grades, so if they don't have the grades needed, then they will be dropped. But many PNM's do drop out because they don't like their remaining options and then they claim to have been dropped. Bottom line: If you have poor grades, problematic social media and poor reputation, don't be surprised if all houses drop you.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by NYCMS

It is rare for a PNM to be outright dropped by all houses.

I have to disagree with you. There are plenty of girls who are dropped from recruitment altogether due to issues like grades, reputation, problematic social media, etc.

[NYCMS]

Originally Posted by thetalady

I have to disagree with you. There are plenty of girls who are dropped from recruitment altogether due to issues like grades, reputation, problematic social media, etc.

And I agree with you - I should have clarified my statement. I was referencing what I felt was a generalized statement about girls getting dropped. Yes, girls are dropped for the reasons you said, but I find many are the ones dropping and then complaining that they were dropped. Good clarification!

[navane]

Originally Posted by newtotheu

I don't think I would have a chance at a collegiate bid again. Partly for my age/life stage and partly since, if I give up my current college's bid, I doubt they would offer me a bid next year.

My local colleges are SEC and I would have no real chance of bids there. Even 18 year olds with 4.0 high school GPAs, perfect personalities, and that look like they just got out of a beauty contest at my local colleges don't all get bids.

Would you mind telling us more specifically about your situation? Not the family emergency part, but your demographics. For example, does "non-traditional student" mean that you are married, 40 years old, with two children? I understand if you might hesitate to share additional details, but I think we'd be able to help you a little more if we understood where you are at currently.

[smitch6492]

I'm slightly confused. Are you considering joining an alumnae group in hopes of gaining acceptance into the ABC sorority across the country or possibly locally? I can't speak for the ABC sorority, but I don't think a specific chapter has to accept a member from another chapter or alumnae group. So I would ask that question specifically to the ABC alumnae group, if you'd like to associate with the active chapter across the country or locally. Also consider whether an alumnae group will provide the experience that your looking for. Personally, I'd concentrate on my family first.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by smitch6492

I'm slightly confused. Are you considering joining an alumnae group in hopes of gaining acceptance into the ABC sorority across the country or possibly locally? I can't speak for the ABC sorority, but I don't think a specific chapter has to accept a member from another chapter or alumnae group. So I would ask that question specifically to the ABC alumnae group, if you'd like to associate with the active chapter across the country or locally. Also consider whether an alumnae group will provide the experience that your looking for. Personally, I'd concentrate on my family first.

I think you are mixing apples and... pineapples. Her decision is should I initiate into a collegiate chapter across the country virtually OR pursue AI in a totally different sorority locally.

[newtotheu]

Originally Posted by thetalady

I have to disagree with you. There are plenty of girls who are dropped from recruitment altogether due to issues like grades, reputation, problematic social media, etc.

Interesting. Perhaps people are getting dropped more for these preventable reasons that I had realized, or choosing to drop recruitment if they didn't get their desired bid. I still can't imagine standing a chance as a transfer student at a competitive Greek school, but maybe I would.

[newtotheu]

Originally Posted by NYCMS

That's not true. The system is now designed that every girl who goes through rush and maximizes their opportunity (ranks the final two houses they attend instead of ranking only one house and refusing to take a bid from the other house), they will get a bid.

Many girls at colleges, especially super competitive SEC colleges, will drop out but claim otherwise to avoid telling the truth....they usually drop out because they didn't like the houses that invited them back, they thought the houses weren't good enough or that they are better than those houses.

Edited: PNM's do get dropped - reputation, grades, social media issues - and the first round of drops are usually grades, so if they don't have the grades needed, then they will be dropped. But many PNM's do drop out because they don't like their remaining options and then they claim to have been dropped. Bottom line: If you have poor grades, problematic social media and poor reputation, don't be surprised if all houses drop you.

That's good to know. At my local college, only 62% of those participating in sorority recruitment last year got bids. It didn't break down who dropped on their own vs. didn't get a bid, so maybe it really is that so many dropped on their own accord.

[newtotheu]

Originally Posted by navane

Would you mind telling us more specifically about your situation? Not the family emergency part, but your demographics. For example, does "non-traditional student" mean that you are married, 40 years old, with two children? I understand if you might hesitate to share additional details, but I think we'd be able to help you a little more if we understood where you are at currently.

I will likely lose my parent soon. I wouldn't let sorority interfere with time with family, but I also want something to look forward to/social support of some level during a hellish time.

For non-traditional demographics, I'm 23- almost 24 but look older, single, no kids, autistic, work full-time, had a job since I was 14, plus size, have MS, currently a virtual student across the country, part of the LGBTQ crowd, returning to college but have few credits that will transfer in since my new school doesn't have equivalent classes so I've got 3.5-4 years left of college, childhood family is low-income, off-campus commuter student usually, first generation college student, mixed ethnic family, etc. I know I'm "old" for a sorority and was afraid to post my age out of getting slammed for it, but I still do have a student-focused lifestyle. I've had depression/anxiety and eating disorders, and also didn't know I was autistic until I was an adult. Those things kind of set me back academically for a long time until now. I've lost 2 older brothers already (cancer and heart failure). They were way older than me. My grandma raised me most of the time, so I feel like I'm non-traditional or a bit different in a few ways. I've got 3.5-4 years of college left so I still have plenty of time to experience greek life. Being autistic I've always been kind of socially/developmentally behind so I think I will still fit in to a college crowd in 4 years. I never pursued it before because I couldn't afford greek life and was a commuter student before.

[newtotheu]

Originally Posted by thetalady

I think you are mixing apples and... pineapples. Her decision is should I initiate into a collegiate chapter across the country virtually OR pursue AI in a totally different sorority locally.

Yes, it's collegiate chapter across the country... or an AI in a completely different sorority locally.

I didn't think I would get a bid in a collegiate chapter so a long time ago (maybe early summer?) I had e-mailed a different sorority to ask about AI. They finally e-mailed me back about the AI process this week.

[carnation]

Most sororities refuse to discuss AI with an undergrad.

[newtotheu]

Originally Posted by carnation

Most sororities refuse to discuss AI with an undergrad.

That's good to know. I'll have to re-inquire if I'm eligible with the group who e-mailed me about AI at this point now that I'm enrolled.

I was not enrolled in college when I e-mailed them last summer, only working. I wasn't planning to attend college this fall, but it all worked out quickly. I didn't think I would ever hear back from that AI group when I had registered for recruitment at my college this fall.